Found a text on his phone....

[Redwhine]

DH was on a work night out last night. He got in at two, which was odd. He was very apologetic about waking me. I knew something was up: I don't know how but I did. At five I checked his phone. There were two texts from a girl I hadn't heard of saying " that must not happen again, just back to normal nothing else I'm sorry" then another message saying " reply to this I need closure". I woke him and asked who she was. He looked sick and couldn't speak... He then said she's a girl at work, they'd been flirting for a few weeks. Last night they went off on their own and 'almost' kissed but didn't. At that point our children woke and we had to stop talking.

I feel sick and I can't stop shaking. We have been together for twelve years, married for seven. Our kids are four and six.

Should I believe him? He keeps saying ' I haven't done anything' but what he's admitted to makes me feel sick. Am I overreacting?

Thank you for the link Brenda, I'd already found it.

Nobody was 'cringing' at the idea of the OP going out. They were cringing at the 'pick me' dance.

Nobody was 'cringing' at the idea of the OP going out. They were cringing at the 'pick me' dance.

yes the 'pick me dance' that was based on her going out to something she wanted to go to.

Exactly how is it helpful to the OP, who is going through something difficult to tell her you are cringing at her. It's not. Nor is it supportive.

It's also not the only time she was told by posters 'I am cringing at xyz'.

Oh stop being so sanctimonious. It's pointing out to the OP that she is degrading herself and that she deserves much, much better than that. All this 'dress up and make everyone see how fabulous I am' stuff - why the hell should she? They don't matter. The husband matters. He should already know how fabulous she is.

Plus I'm not sure the OP particularly does want to go. She said: I wasn't going to go because we struggle with babysitters but my mum has agreed to do it. I'm going to go, looking fabulous and being charming to everyone

So she could have asked her mum all along but wasn't going to bother going but now that this bombshell has hit she wants to go (so her husband is not alone with the OW socially and so she can show everyone - especially OW - how great she is). It does make me cringe that the OP would feel like she needs to prove something to everyone. All her recent anger is directed towards the OW and she's already said she's decided to take the husband back and is now angry with posters for not helping her sweep it all under the rug. I'm saying that I think that is a mistake, but do wish the OP all the very best in the future and won't be commenting again.

There are ways and ways of saying things though, surely.

Anyway, it's prompted the OP to leave the thread, so this is all just petty in-fighting at this point.

ForChina - I see your point. But it was a very vindictive, mean-spirited way of putting it.

As schools go back today, just wanted to say I'm thinking of you OP