just found out his friend isn't just a friend # 2

[binders1]

Binder army, please find me.

In summary found out 10 days ago OH has been having an affair for the 14 years we have been together and we have one DS 8 yrs. OW is someone he has been sleeping with since college. She is married with 2 dc' s and who knows OH could be biological father of child(re n). She is also someone we have been to lunches and dinners twice yearly where she has acted inappropriately. When questioned OH years ago he said I was mad and denied a relationship except friendship. Found porno photos of them over the decades in the loft.

I don't know what else to say as so much info was in thread 1. I have relied on the support of the old thread. I call them my binder army. Tomorrow is d day, he leaves the house or we do.

Your Army will be here no matter what happens today Binders. Good luck

You have been, and are amazing binder. (I am utterly staggered at what you have been through. I want a sister like yours!)

Good luck for today.

Another photo from me to spur you on binders!

Thinking of you love, stay strong

Morning binders army. I think the last few nights of no sleep have caught up with me I fell asleep after my last post last night.

Lots of more good advice and things to think about.

Tomato - I may use those words.

Off to drop DS with his grandad and then let's get this day started.

MrsP up and ready for battle sir!

I wish I could fill his coffee with laxatives and close any toilet within his vicinity.

we're here Binders

I bet OW knows about your deadline today and is probably also shitting herself about whether you'll tell her DH or not! I too though would get checked out. I wouldn't put it past her to have a rotten minge disease or two. Xx

I like that Phoenix. X

Good luck Binders, we're all right behind you (psyched up go get him face)

with respect to keeping evidence digitally, I did not mean to imply that it should go on the Internet as revenge porn more as amunition foe the solicitors.

Echoing other, It's time to grow that rhino hide, it's your son's house. What I found though it as much as you can pretend he isn't a real person, and unless its relevant or police contact worthy think of him almost as a pointless ghost farting nonsense. This worked well for me at school.

I hadn't thought about STI's but you had better get one booked soon.

I'm a bit concerned that it appears to be OH's default position to be petty and spiteful, and by inviting a stream of visitors to the house will be viewed by him as upping the anti, and he will retaliate by being even more difficult.

Binders when you say the house is not sale ready, how much needs to be done to get it ready? Perhaps you could appeal to his materialistic side by talking to him and saying that the relationship is over - there's no negotiation on that, but that it will be in both of your interests to get the house sold for the best price as soon as possible so that you can both move on and to provide some stability for your son. I like the idea of using someone as a mediator, but don't really have any idea who you could use.

It might be off the wall, but another thought is that you speak to OW and tell her that your OH won't move out of the house and see if she can bring any influence to bear? She'll be shitting herself that you will tell her DH, so I bet she'll likely move heaven & earth to get him to move out.

Another lurker posting to say good luck!

Binders - I was in full on lioness mode protecting her cub at the time. He said I couldn't kick him out of his home and I just stood up to him.

My points that I made to him were that he had done enough damage with his actions so far and I was not risking any more damage to dd's stability. For her to come through undamaged she needed to be in her own home, with her things around her and her mother looking after her.

Channel your inner warrier - sounds like having you and your sis doing it together would be a formidable pairing.

I am 100% convinced that by keeping life stable is the best thing for littlies whilst the storm is raging around them.

I agree with getting yourself checked out.

my H cheated last year, caught HPV 16 and passed it to me. I have since had 3 bad smear tests and this week had to have a chunk of my cervix removed to get rid of the pre-cancerous cells (CIN3).

all because he 'didn't always' use a condom.

good luck today. there are so many of us thinking of you x

If you don't move out. Can you store anything precious/valuable at your sisters?

Keeping all fingers crossed for you today binders. Whatever happens, just know that you absolutely have the strength to get through it. Sounds like a fair few posters have been through tough times and are here to tell the tale.

I can tell you that my personal circumstances have gone from really high stress (thought I would have to go to court for an occupation order) to being (relatively) settled remarkably quickly.

I'm bracing myself for the next lot of fuckwittery on STBXH behalf....but I'm here, smiling and happy. You will be too!

and if possible, preferably speak to OW by turning up on her doorstep unexpectedly.

Have you ever seen photos of her children? Do they look like their father or like OH?

Can I just say how much I love the idea of inviting OWH round for dinner?

Good luck and fingers crossed for today X
I am in awe at the way you have handled this horrible situation. Your sister sounds like a legend
Your poor excuse for a partner makes my blood boil

I'm also cheering you on from behind my screen, honestly Binder, you're a fucking star.

Agree with pp about enlisting your dsis to make his time in the house as awkward as possible. Do you have any friends that could come round on a nightly basis for a 'girls night' and the likes? Make him feel really unwanted and unnecessary.

Your fil was spot on, he is a prick.

Will be thinking of you all day today!

my H cheated last year, caught HPV 16 and passed it to me. I have since had 3 bad smear tests and this week had to have a chunk of my cervix removed to get rid of the pre-cancerous cells (CIN3). all because he 'didn't always' use a condom.

Fucking twunt. Yours too Binder.

Good luck for today! xx

Binders , I've been lurking in the shadows but I wanted to come out and say good luck today. You are an awesomely amazing lady and I really wish you well.

Can we not stream live footage at 4pm so we can all be flies on the wall and also go into full Binders Army mode? I'd love to watch the Rottweiler in action!!

Good luck today binders. Hopefully he'll be persuaded he's acting like scum and do the right thing.

I would just act like he's going. Ask if he needs help packing up, come up with the names of a few suitable estate agents to value the house and ask if he's got any suggestions