Hello, lostgirl :) I'm not surprised you're feeling lost!
Right. Firstly, you're not crazy! No one who hasn't been through the immense brain-drain of someone like this, will ever understand how lost and confused it makes you feel. You're reacting completely normally to a horrible situation.
Basically, your brain is trying to make something true that isn't. It's called cognitive dissonance. So when he says he loves you and wants the best for you, you believe him, but then he hurts you and upsets you, and you know that's true too. So your brain is trying to find a way to make his actions fit his words. It can't, because they don't. But he he insists they should, so you keep trying.
It feels a bit like you're thinking constantly just to stay still.
It takes time and distance to find a bit of peace. Do things in your own time :) there's no hurry.
So! First step, look at his actions:-
He mocks you renting (belittles your choices)
He pressurises you into moving to his town with the promise that he will be nicer if you do (not true, why would he be? Once you're financially tied to him he can be nastier and you won't be able to escape easily)
His idea of sex is degrading and you don't enjoy it (selfish and potential for getting much worse)
He says something that upsets you, when you state you are upset, he mocks you for not taking it as a joke (being upset when someone says nasty things is a normal reaction. He is also setting you up so that later on he can say "I told you I was always going to be out with mates! You can't be angry now!")
If you don't drop everything when he wants to see you he will punish you for days, but he can cancel as and when he pleases (this isn't how normal people behave, you're allowed to have your own life too, it's one rule for him and another for you).
So there's a few things that show that he does not treat you with love or respect.
It's really hard coming to terms with the fact that the person you love is not the person you think they are. The person you love doesn't exist, because you're looking for a nice version of him, and he isn't nice.
Give yourself to time to let it all sink in. If you can, distance yourself a bit. I won't tell you how long it took me to finally leave my nasty ex once I'd seen the light. Or how many times I tried to make things work.
What I have learnt is that it's so much easier to love someone than to like them. You should never stay with someone who you don't like.
There are good times in every terrible relationship. You only see how far it is from normal once you're in a healthy relationship.
Look after you. Give yourself time to let yourself see him for who he really is. Once you do, that feeling of confusion will start to fade. 
I hope you find a way forwards and away from this man. You deserve so much better.