DRY 9!!!!!

[CheesyNachos]

The DRY 8 thread suddenly came to an end! 1000 messages before we knew it.

THis is the thread for those who are abstaining and who want to abstain from alcohol. :)

All are welcome.

Previous thread is here.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2432985-DRY-8?

Great to hear how well people are doing!.

Day 17 for me. The tearfulness has stopped and I feel great but think it should be harder than this?!. Literally EVERY week for the last three years I planned to give up drinking and managed a maximum of three days but now it's like something's clicked and I don't know what or how or why.

I'm not complaining though and I'm certainly not complacent. 17 days! Had almost given up giving up. I really didn't think I could ever manage a week but now almost three!.

laughing I posted something very similar a few days ago. Its amazing isn't it? Like you I have struggled over the years and this time I seem to be breezing it.
I'm under no illusions I'll have my moments but I am so enjoying not having hangovers.
Tomorrow I will be 21 days. This is the first week out of the three that I have had a bit of energy about me. More than I have had in years. I don't want to mess that up.

Big wave to everyone. Sounds like we have all had a good week. Day 8 and no desire to drink as yet

Plus following my gp visit (being referred for tests), I think I probably really shouldn't be drinking, especially as I usually drink too much.

I love real housewives too. The amount of wine they all put away, they should be on this thread too

Hello

I've been thinking about joining for a whiIle now but keep saying to myself that I haven't really got a problem with alcohol. I don't drink Mon to Thurs so I'm not 'addicted'.

However, when I go out with friends or go to dinner at a friends house, I almost invariably get VERY drunk. I don't have a high tolerance anyway, but I seem to forget large chunks of the night and that in itself is quite worrying. I've always been like this, but at 42 I think something needs to change.

The problem is that I'm an introvert and I find most social occasions very awkward/difficult - until I have a few drinks of course.

I went to a party at a friends house last night (along with my 2 kids). I didn't know many people there so I drank (OH was there too). I was ok up to a point - BUT, this morning I woke up and had little recollection of what had happened. I vaguely remember falling over, and then being sick over myself in the cab. My children were there.

I am SO SO ashamed of myself right now. My poor children.

I think it's time to seriously think about giving up alcohol. But I am SO scared. I don't have great self esteem at the best of times. How can I get through social occasions without alcohol? I'm not the most lively of people, I don't have great social skills - I think I'm probably really quite boring. I guess I've always drunk alcohol (or taken drugs in my earlier years) in order to make myself interesting.....

How on earth do I do this?

Thanks everyone for your support! This us about my millionth time of giving up alcohol this year and the longest I've ever gone before is 2 days. I'm now on day three, and I'm feeling very positive.

I'm avoiding social situations until I'm comfortable. I get nervous around people too, but I'd rather deal with the anxiety than have any more mornings of guilt/shame/ trying to remember if I upset anyone.

I've figured it that early evening is my trigger time, so distraction at this time of day is key for me I think. Tonight I'm writing reports, so avoiding alcohol AND being productive.

Brighit Yes indeedy Points make prizes so who knows - maybe some

Wargghhh welcome and try not to worry about all of that stuff just yet. Focus on getting through today without drinking as that is all any of us can control right now :) I'm not drinking tonight so maybe you'd like to join me?
Bitterlemons ooh there's an idea, not Gary but Mark is in recovery isn't he?

Warghhh have you heard of Allen Carr? His book is fantastic (imo) especially when it covers the social side of things.
I think I speak for most of us when I say we are like Pringles when it comes to alcohol 'once you pop (the cork) you can't stop'

Warghh welcome. I find social situations difficult too. I'm on day 22 and I've had to go to quite a few things in the last 3 weeks. I'll be honest, I haven't found them enjoyable. It's taken a lot of effort to chat to people without a glass of wine in hand! I'm hoping things will get better. The 'day at a time' advice is the best bit for me, I have loads of things coming up that I would usually get drunk at and I have no idea how I'm going to get through them so I'm just not thinking about then. The crucial moment for me is saying no to the first drink. After that not drinking is easy even if socialising isn't!

I haven't read Alan Carr so I'm going to order that today. Thanks Dona

The current edition of the Allan Carr book comes with a hypnosis CD as well!

I find saying 'no' to the first drink works as well. It somehow makes saying no to the others after that really easy.

Great to have you with us Warghh.

Welcome Wargghhhh. I've done what you describe many times, drunk too much too quickly to get in the mood and to lose my inhibitions. So embarrassing afterwards. Horrible memories.

What I'm doing now, now that I don't drink, is to think very critically whether I need to accept an invitation. Do I have to go? Do I want to go? Do I even have anything in common with these people? Am I trying to fit into a group that I just don't fit in? If I have to go to some event that I don't particularly want to, then I'll make an exit plan that means I can leave early if I want to. Also I'll eat something before going so that I don't arrive in a jittery, hungry, "gimme a drink" kind of state.

I was a bit of a hermit for the first four weeks. I'm only in my eleventh week now so I am not an expert by any means, but I went out for dinner on Friday with my family and to the pub with old friends last night and had a lovely sober time on both occasions. I did notice at dinner on Friday that I was so caught up in deciding on my soft drink and making sure the others knew I didn't mind them having wine or beer, that I ordered a really weird combination of food, so I need to work on trying to let go of all that "drink-thinking" in those situations.

I also think that learning to say no to invitations has been quite freeing and liberating also. I tell myself 'Invitation, not obligation'. I really think that for a while we have to put ourselves and our needs first on this.

Umpteen... dying to know your weird food combo.

I need to do this. Say no.

Actually there are a lot of things I need to start saying 'no' to....not just invitations. Just 3 weeks of sobriety has been enough for me to realise how much completley stress pressure I put on myself.

Oh and I need to start saying no to biscuits. Am attempting a biscuit free day today!

*completely unnecessary stress and pressure

Jesus...sobriety is doing nothing for my ability to type coherent sentences...

Hah, Cheesy! I had mussels in a cream sauce followed by a fishy risotto. Two plates of white mush without a vegetable in sight! I briefly considered finishing with pannacotta, just to be consistent, but I was a bit blanded out.

But yes, isn't it liberating generally, being sober? Silly small things like not worrying when Dh goes hunting for something he's lost that he might find my secret stash. There's no stash any more! Yay! And freedom from all the calculations of how much I've had and how much is left, blah blah. And the driving worry, like you said.

3phase, yes, yes, yes! Completely unnecessary stress and pressure. I absolutely agree. Too much perfectionism, only sustainable by numbing ourselves with alcohol. It's no way to live. We lose sight of who we truly are.

Thank you all for being so lovely, I've ordered the Allen Carr book so will have a read of that. Went for a run this morning which always makes me feel good - it was a harsh reminder of what happened on Saturday night though when I fell over drunk - my back hurts!

Anyway, onwards and upwards :-) Thank you for your wise words about accepting or not accepting social invitations - 'invitation not obligation' sounds like a good mantra to me!

Ooohhhh....just had to share my latest sober treat.

www.notonthehighstreet.com/bonbiforest/product/spread-your-wings-locket-necklace-gold

I am getting a large range of pendant necklaces it seems!

Oooh I likey Cheesy :)
I read a while back (but can't remember where to hat tip them) Don't act in a FOG - so on or from fear, obligation or guilt. Your invitation not obligation reminded me of that so thank you!
Rat didn't get to read your message but please do join us

Thanks Lucy!

Fear, Obligation or guilt.I like that alot!

Hiya Rat. [waves]. Would love to have you join us.

Gah. I've got a real 'head' on me tonight where I could suck up wine with a straw. Its because of this that I am choosing not too.
Because if I did I would go for it. Luckily after the drenching from hell I am in my pj's already but this has come as a huge surprise because I would say this is my first full on craving.
I thought it was too easy!
I'm hoping its something to do with the fact that I gave up smoking. I've noticed my taste buds are springing back into life and at the moment they are telling me they would love a glass of wine. Bastards!

Bath and early to bed also highly recommended!

Stay focused dona

I have a meal out to go to this week. I am going to drive so won't be drinking. I need some recommendations of low sugar non alcoholic drinks. I don't really want to spend all evening drinking diet coke. Any suggestions?