Total shock

[Iseeall]

Just found evidence of the other woman. In total shock. Been together 25 years,k new something was wrong but still its a shock.
His business takes him away sometimes and he has just returned, I found her boarding card in his man bag as i was tidying up.
Shall I facebook her a message asking if she had a lovely holiday and enjoys breaking up a family.
help me.

ciele life is too short to spend unhappy. If you don't want to separate or divorce then perhaps you could develop a life outside of your home? See friends, join a society or club, take a weekend job?

Was thinking about you Iseeall and hope all is well.

Also just wanted to point out that it is completely normal to be having doubts at this point (if you are) - and you don't have to post updates if you don't want to, but equally if you are having a wobble and are worried about telling the cast of MN, please don't worry. I just wish you well where ever you're at with this.

Hello, thanks to everyone still posting.

It will be three weeks tomorrow that I discovered h was cheating and the start of this post.

Today we are at an impasse. H has still not instructed a solicitor and we are no further along in 'amicably' agreeing to a divide assets.

I will be going back to my solicitor in a few weeks for a follow up appointment, she was hopeful that I would come back with the basis of a settlement. At the moment it is looking unlikely.

Since h confessed he has been like a leaking tap, I can't shut him up at times. So I have times, dates, what they talked about(ow didn't know he was married when they first went for a drink), what they ate, etc etc.

My solicitor did say I was ahead of the game when I saw her and that h would have to get up to speed as it were but at the moment, nothing.
I hope things don't get too messy or difficult in the future. Anyone else been in this situation.

Not surprised that he's dragging his heels. You just forge on ahead, there are legal ways to force his hand. Not cheap, but worth it in the end.

As far as the 'drip feed', I'd tell him to STFU. You don't want or need to know the details of his sordid little life. I honestly don't know what he means by it! Does he think that if he 'confesses enough' or 'comes clean' that you'll forgive him? Arsehole!

Have you gotten the 'collection' and/or the house valued? Perhaps if he sees you doing that it'll kick start him.

OP, you are truly great! :)

It does rather look as though you're going to have to drive this.

Do get the collection valued.

I'd stick some earphones in when he starts on. We know from his earlier "Why aren't you CRYING, you bitch?!" styff that he is trying you hurt you and gutted that you aren't in floods begging him to stay. You don't have to listen to his tedious paeans of praise to that dopey slag, you really don't.

I hope you (and the kids- possibly mercifully preoccupied with their own doings) are all right.

Courage for the draining times ahead. You are going to be a new woman when you have this piece of excrement out of your life, I swear.

I would just bypass any hope of an agreement at this point and bring forward the solicitor appointment. If he can't be sensible about it then force his hand and start making demands.

cherry yes he still asks every so often how I found out.

I just smile or laugh and refuse to say. Over the last couple of weeks he has thought I hired a private investigator and had him followed, become a super computer hacker, had the dc hack his computer. They are the most stupid things he has come up with. I look forward to the day I reveal how I found out.
In the mean time I keep on making notes of what he says. I really am getting day/date/times/ anything I want to know he's happy to tell.

Do you know what op, I would never tell him, it'll torture him

He must have thought he was so clever, idiot!

You must be having a few "how did I end up with this muppet" moments. I'm so impressed with you OP, you're an inspiration.