Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Total shock

862 replies

Iseeall · 26/09/2015 13:28

Just found evidence of the other woman. In total shock. Been together 25 years,k new something was wrong but still its a shock.
His business takes him away sometimes and he has just returned, I found her boarding card in his man bag as i was tidying up.
Shall I facebook her a message asking if she had a lovely holiday and enjoys breaking up a family.
help me.

OP posts:
Diamondsmiles · 08/10/2015 07:37

I wonder if he is still seeing the OW. She can't be that keen as she clearly isn't letting him move in.

BitOutOfPractice · 08/10/2015 07:39

He still thinks he's invincible.

Is it wrong that I'd love to be there to see his face when he realises that he's not Blush

BerylStreep · 08/10/2015 12:48

Glad to see you back and getting god legal advice OP.

SevenOfNineTrue · 08/10/2015 12:51

I'd highly recommend being the one to arrange for the house to go on the market. There is so much he could do to delay that happening and even try and stall the process i.e. raising the asking price too high for the local market so it won't sell.

WellWhoKnew · 08/10/2015 13:31

Hello, fellow "Troll" here who failed the 'well known poster test' - however have now gotten to known some fabulous posters in RL (and they me!) so I'm pretty sure I definitely had a horrific divorce, which is now finally over.

I am now safely relocated to a place unknown and he didn't get the divorce the way he wanted it. He claimed he wanted an 'amicable divorce' - unfortunately I was not suppose to get a solicitor, nor indeed have my own opinions, so things did not go quite according to plan.

You're doing a great job getting all your ducks in a row. It sounds like he will be spectacularly outraged once he learns that - from previous experience. My advice is don't respect when it kicks off (which it will) just keep your indifferent,calm facade/persona (which you're doing a great job of). And do expect them to make horrendous, hurtful, spiteful and nasty actions in order to 'exact revenge' (for you daring to find out about OW).

Don't change the locks right now is my advice.

Photograph all the assets now and if you want, whilst he's away, get them valued (if you can) - just don't sell them. If he wants to dispute it, he'll have to repeat that exercise for himself.

KOKO

WellWhoKnew · 08/10/2015 13:35

respect? respond. My typing still has a way to go!

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 08/10/2015 13:37

REALLY sorry - Beryl - you do know yer ackshual Meryl Streep in in MNHQ doing live webchat right now, do you?

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 08/10/2015 13:37
WellWhoKnew · 08/10/2015 13:56

Just don't recommend she gets a VooDoo doll Thumb!

BerylStreep · 08/10/2015 14:30

Really! She's my sister doncha know?

grassisgreenersometimes · 08/10/2015 15:10

Glad to have you back OP. Nothing further to add as it sounds like you are doing an amazing job in keeping calm and getting things sorted.

I hope your DC are ok too.

Thefuckinggrinch · 08/10/2015 15:55

I just wanted to say that it seems you have handled this amazingly well. I want to wish you all the best for the future. I hope the next few months are as stress free as possible in these circumstances.

IjustGotmy2016diary · 08/10/2015 21:00

WWK - there you are!! I was following your thread and somehow I lost it. Can you link me to it?

NegativeIron · 08/10/2015 23:54

Well done.

Keep your courage and energy up.

lavendersun · 09/10/2015 00:02

Just saw this thread in active convos as I try to wind down after a very late night at work - so pleased you came back Iseeall.

You are amazing Flowers.

Bogeyface · 09/10/2015 00:15

WWK good to see you! How's the caravan? Wink

WellWhoKnew · 09/10/2015 00:42

Bogey Good to see you too. I'm doing okay thanks - given I am not living in a fecking caravan!

Iseeall I'm sorry my presence has interrupted your thread, but it's nice to see so many MNetters here for you. (They were hugely helpful to me in the dark days).

I was suddenly left one day and had a hideous divorce. If there's anything you feel you want to say, but can't on a public forum, then you've got my name and I'll happily reply to a PM.

Take care of yourself. It's the only way out of this mess.

WWK.

Bogeyface · 09/10/2015 01:17

I am not living in a fecking caravan!

And the knowledge of that keeps him from sleeping, I hope :o

Bogeyface · 09/10/2015 01:20

Iseeall I believe I mentioned WWK above, and TheFomidableMrsC, they are both women who have been through hellish divorces and they really do know what its like. They are also both very generous women who will give help and support, so do PM WWK if you dont want to share on here. She helped in court when MrsC didnt have legal representation, and guess who won?

She isnt a SHL, but she bloody well should be!

WellWhoKnew · 09/10/2015 01:46

Bogey I, sadly, for reasons that are reasonable, and both unreasobable, must correct you: MrsC didn't win. The fact is: MrWT self-detonated.

Post-divorce Mr WT has taken umbrage to her very living and breathing.

I remain a steadfast friend of MrsC.

{and formally discharged of contempt of court}

Life goes on...

Bogeyface · 09/10/2015 02:01

Sorry, you are of course completely correct.

In fact I recall telling MrsC to be prepared for an invoice from MrWT for his legal services on her behalf, such was his twattery!

MrsC has, I know you know, got Karma well and truly on her side.... :)

NumbBlaseCold · 09/10/2015 10:55

Iseeall, you are very strong.

I hope this is all sorted for you in time and you can remove this maggot from your life.

RandomMess · 09/10/2015 14:39

KOKO Iseeall. He doesn't seem to realise that you can actually divorce just because you don't want to be in the marriage anymore and still have to split the assets!

He's rather stupid tbh.

ciele · 09/10/2015 19:10

Hate weekends-am I the only one who dreads the time with DH? Much worse now kids have left.
Been unhappy for so long I imagine any different!

NumbBlaseCold · 09/10/2015 19:13

Maybe think of separating Ciele?

Unhappiness is not good.