OH showed me a message he received today from one of his close friends. They have known each other slightly longer than I've known him, and we all see each other every now and then.
She is DD's godmother. Before I got together with OH, he had a crush on her, but never acted on it. We got together shortly afterwards and he didn't speak to her for a long time as she moved away. She has recently split from her boyfriend and moved back to the area, and so we are seeing her more often.
OH has received a message from her apologising if she acted weird over the weekend and yesterday (he went to do a hobby with his family, which she also does - I stayed at home with DD), but she admitted in the message that she is in love with him, and has been for a long time. She said she would never want anything to happen now, as she described our family as "awesome" and said that we work together, but she admitted that she thinks about what would have happened if they'd gotten together, and she had to tell him that she loves him and regrets not acting on it sooner. She said OH didn't have to keep it a secret from me, and was happy for me to see the message.
My initial reaction was to shrug it off - fair play it must have taken some balls for her to write that, and if she was happy for me to see it, she can't be expecting anything to happen between them. It's only as the day has gone on that I've wondered if maybe I should be more bothered by it, but I can't figure out why. I don't know if it's because I feel like I don't understand why she had sent it now after all this time, just when we've started seeing more of her. I don't know how to feel, basically, and I'm wondering if you would react like me and just shrug it off, or whether you'd feel odd about it?
Sorry it's a ramble.
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How would you react to this?
jorahmormont · 17/09/2015 18:41
Your DH should still send a reply saying her attention is unwelcome and you are both cutting contact. Then he should block her number.
Because she will think that by sending her 'oh I'm sorry' text, everything will go back to normal but with the underlying knowledge that she'd jump your DH if given the chance. She has made a big declaration and now hopes to continue being around until she gets an opportunity to act on it. Don't give her that opportunity.
She doesn't get to say sorry and wipe the slate clean. Otherwise you and your DH are agreeing a new boundary in your relationship where he can still be in contact with people who have made declarations of love; and she can send inappropriate texts whenever she likes as long as she says sorry.
Tell your FIL to contact her to say she isn't welcome at the hobby. No big explanations necessary - just that she behaved inappropriately and upset both you and DH at a time when you have enough stress. Then block her from all your phones, and focus on your lovely little family, and getting better 
I'll be charitable and assume she was very, very drunk when she sent the original message. Even so, I'd stop contact with her directly.
Good on you and your DP for being so honest and open about the whole thing. (He sounds great by the way. 
)
Feel so bad for you OP, I would be bloody livid, and agree with those saying she needs to be completely removed from your lives.
Just think about what a sad life she must lead that she has to try to throw a spanner into someone elses happy family because she's a lonely old mare.
Ah he does sound like a good'un, your husband.
Agreed with most other posters...she sounds incredibly manipulative. The drunk thing and head being messed up is just an excuse..and more manipulation. If that had been the case then she would have sent a follow-up meesage to say shiiiiiiiiiiiiiit, and apologising instead of waiting for what he would say.
She's trying to salvage the situation by pretending she was just a bit pissed or whatever..but yea., the fact she waited for a response from your husband first before saying that is very very telling.
Steer well clear, she's one of those 'types' who will hang on in there pretending 'friendship' until she sees another opportunity.
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My married friend had a former colleague, let's call her Senga, who used to send inappropriate texts. He'd ignore it then a day or two later, Senga would text 'oops sorry I was drunk' or 'sorry, my friend took my phone' 
It went on for years. Sometimes there would be months in between then he'd get a text out of the blue. Anyway, my point is that if this woman is anything like Senga then unless a very firm line is drawn, she will not back off.
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