How would you react to this?

[jorahmormont]

OH showed me a message he received today from one of his close friends. They have known each other slightly longer than I've known him, and we all see each other every now and then.

She is DD's godmother. Before I got together with OH, he had a crush on her, but never acted on it. We got together shortly afterwards and he didn't speak to her for a long time as she moved away. She has recently split from her boyfriend and moved back to the area, and so we are seeing her more often.

OH has received a message from her apologising if she acted weird over the weekend and yesterday (he went to do a hobby with his family, which she also does - I stayed at home with DD), but she admitted in the message that she is in love with him, and has been for a long time. She said she would never want anything to happen now, as she described our family as "awesome" and said that we work together, but she admitted that she thinks about what would have happened if they'd gotten together, and she had to tell him that she loves him and regrets not acting on it sooner. She said OH didn't have to keep it a secret from me, and was happy for me to see the message.

My initial reaction was to shrug it off - fair play it must have taken some balls for her to write that, and if she was happy for me to see it, she can't be expecting anything to happen between them. It's only as the day has gone on that I've wondered if maybe I should be more bothered by it, but I can't figure out why. I don't know if it's because I feel like I don't understand why she had sent it now after all this time, just when we've started seeing more of her. I don't know how to feel, basically, and I'm wondering if you would react like me and just shrug it off, or whether you'd feel odd about it?

Sorry it's a ramble.

[Starkswillriseagain]

Keeping up the ignoring should speak volumes to her. I'm sorry you're so poorly, it's horrible when you look forward to pain relief.

[jorahmormont]

I think you're right Starks. I do suspect it's an attention thing more than anything so we can expect her to message DP telling him all about her date.

I honestly couldn't cope without it right now, I've never known pain like it! :(

[Starkswillriseagain]

Good, so she should. Though if you do have surgery, I would be prepared for her to start texting. She reminds me a bit of a snake, hiding in the grass and striking when there's a vulnerability.

Tramadol can be a godsend can't it? Sorry you are still poorly.

[jorahmormont]

Fingers crossed I'll avoid any surgery at all but seeing as I'm still taking the maximum dose I'm allowed of Tramadol, it's not looking likely.

Not heard from her since the message about her online date was ignored. She seems to be getting the message at least!

[Starkswillriseagain]

It can be rather...

[Starkswillriseagain]

It is keyhole but still around 2 weeks recovery. When my sis had hers out she got an infection so it even took three. Would have been better to have my version. They stitch inside but outside is left to heal on it's own so there's not much difference recovery wise between the two.

The keyhole has a minimal infection risk though and is often used if it's suspected appendicitis but possibly could be something else too. My sister has a problem with her ovaries too so they wanted to be sure, that's what her consultant told her.

Get plenty of things within easy reach Jorah and lots of DVDs!

[Itisbetternow]

Oh I can understand why you do it jorah and kids do enjoy it. I met some of my friends who did it at car fest south so I can understand the attraction.

[jorahmormont]

Honestly I think it's naff but I just do their photography, it helps my portfolio and I get to see DD dressed up all cute

[Itisbetternow]

Of course it is!!! So many men are interested in that. But very few woman. Nope I still not interested - but to the running and knotting clubs :-)

[jorahmormont]

I've got scar tissue from previous surgery so they said it'd probably have to be open surgery unfortunately but ah well, it's done so often these days.

You got it Jux

[MySordidCakeSecret]

she's basically opened the door her end for something to happen between them, i'd stop contact with her or at the very least make it minimal and when you're with dh only.

[Jux]

Re-enactment!

Glad the scan was relatively good news. Please don't worry too much about the op. I believe appendectomy these days is fast and fine. I had mine out when I was 11 - over 40 years ago. I have a 4inch scar and was in hospital for about 10 days, and then was sent to 'the country' for more weeks to recuperate! So much time off school, nearly a whole term . That doesn't happen anymore. Recovery is much much much quicker - I think it's keyhole surgery.

[Spartans]

Ah damn! That was my best guess too

Glad to hear it OP, that's a wise decision.

[jorahmormont]

Haha no not knife throwing, can be similarly dangerous though.

Thanks Spartans. We will definitely be keeping a very big distance in future.

[Spartans]

Is it knife throwing?

OP just red this thread and wanted to say that I hope everything is ok with your results.

I don't have much to add to the thread really, aside from that. I agree with most posters. She is an awful person. I was in love with a person who had a girl friend before. No way would I have told him to get it off my chest. There is no reason to do. If you care about the person you wouldn't put them in that position. She has been trying to find a way in for a while and it's hasn't worked so she tried to be more direct. Thankfully your dh messed Her plan up by actually showing you the message.

I would never usually tell dh who he can be friends with, but I wouldnt have this woman anywhere near my family.

[jorahmormont]

Thanks TheDowager and itis [flower] it was a little scary but all done.

Fingers crossed whatever was there has vanished as the latest possible diagnosis is abcess on my appendix... last thing I need on top of all this is surgery to have my appendix out

It's a hobby that would really identify us Itis because I don't think there are huge amounts of people doing it and each group is quite well known if you see what I mean. Not knitting or jogging though haha, I wish

[Itisbetternow]

I keep reading on this board about these hobbies that men and women do together and the problems it causes. Can someone enlighten me as to what theses hobby clubs are as it ain't happening at my knitting and jogging clubs!

Hope scan was ok.

She knows what she is doing - since when did a woman go to a hobby meeting and then need a lift home and then ask a married man?

[TheDowagerCuntess]

I hope the scan went OK, Jorah.

[Jux]

Block her on phones and devices, on fb and everywhere else. She might as well have made a physical pass at your dh. Treat her as if she did. Tell people.

[BoldFox]

Yes, so in her situation, she needs to get a mcboyfriend quick

[TheDowagerCuntess]

And if she is trying to illustrate that she's moved on and won't be pursuing things - that's no doubt purely because she worries that her actions will leave out in the cold, ostracised by you, and by the hobby group.

Her chickens are coming home to roost.

[BoldFox]

Oh I missed her online date text. Yes, saving face. It's either ''speak now or for ever more hold your peace'' kind of thing, or it's "i've moved on" and drawn a line under it.
Your htb gets to decide. Silence best I think.

[TheDowagerCuntess]

Regardless, ignoring her is the best option. Starve her of oxygen and hopefully she'll just go away. She's not wanted or needed.

[pictish]

Is she not just trying to illustrate that she has moved on and won't be pursuing the matter any further?
That's how I'd take it.

[BoldFox]

I think you're right. If you told her to ''fuck off'' she'd spin it round that you were jealous and insecure and that your htb has a massive big head and over reacted to a few mildly flirtatious texts and that the two of you are a small town unsophisticated couple. You've told her once. Not communicating with her now reinforces that. Any communication now would be like you owe her an explanation!