First date: "I want to feel your c*nt around my c*ck"

[Abundatia]

I went on a first date with a guy I met at a friend's dinner party. We went to the park to just sit and chat. After a while I felt hungry and suggested we grab a bite to eat. He said: "I'm not into wasting money on overpriced food or places where they charge £4 for just a bowl of chips. So I hope McDonalds is OK with you."

I told him McDonalds is not OK with me. Shortly afterwards he said: "Sod it. My kids are both out. Let's go back to my house and fuck. I want to feel your cnt around my cck."

And they say romance is dead. :(

Tali Richard Armitage would get it with any line. At. All.

He sounds like an abuser in the making

Actually abusers usually have a nice side to them, that is how they get a chance to abuse.

All the discussion about Richard Armitage delivering that line has made me come over all flushed

Richard Armitage can say what the frig he likes to me. He can get it.

At least he was honest :)

Just a thought, but how do you work your way up to being a Friday cunt? Is there a pecking order? Please say hes text you!! We want to know how this ends.

"Pecker order", surely?

Preemptive good one

Broken I apologise in advance because I do not normally react in this way.

WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaattttttttttt.

nuff said

Thinking about it, Richard Armitage probably would get it from me. My friend would have me section if I turned such a man down.

"I want to feel your cunt around my cock" is in iambic pentameter. I think we've underestimated this man.

Oooh, Lois excellent point!

Now, what kind of McDonalds would Will Shakespeare fancy, one can't help but wonder...

I want to feel your cunt around my cock
Your minge gives much more welcome than a sock
The kids are out so sod prevarication
Come fuck with me, say no to masturbation!

I'd be more offended by the McDonalds than the offer of a quick shag. But wow, he does sound like a catch.

I want to feel your cunt around my cock
Let??s have some fries and then take off your frock
I never pay for lunch when I get laid
So come on back to mine once you have paid

My darling girl I offer a big Mac
To anyone who'll stimulate my sack
The fries are extra if you're game enough
To run through Willesden centre in the buff

Or we can go into sonnet mode:

Shall I compare thee to a quarter pounder with cheese?
Thou art more better looking and slimmer.
Rough winds doth shake the McDonalds napkins
And women are too frivolous and "me me me"
Sometimes too uggo the face of chicks
And often my gold collection skimm'd
And every fair affair sometimes declines
By chance, or chlamydia cause you're untrimm'd
But thy eternal pussy shall not fade
Nor gain possession of my fair was
Nor shall thou brag thou to thine mates
When in infernal lines to pull thou on'st
So short as my shaft can be, or slim my girth
So long thine pussy around my cock wrapp'd.

"... fair waswad" that was meant to be.. .

WAD!

Grr, need more coffee.

preemptive I laughed so much at your sonnet that I've managed to frighten my own child.

Sorry, mini-maisie. >sadface<