Feeling uneasy about dp staying at his exes

[MuthaHubbard]

Just that really, something in my gut tells me something is off.

For the first time in our nearly 4 yr relationship, dp is staying at his XW's house with his ds. He only mentioned this about an hour before going - that apparently he was going to stop on a camp bed in his sons room. This is because he hasn't really seen him this week (bit of a fib), ds's grandfather just died (a month ago) and funnily enough his XW is now single (over a month or so ago).

Since his XW became single, he has been seeing his son a lot more than the normal twice a week. Now I am totally fine with this, am very happy that he's got the chance to spend more time with his ds - but this is always at his XW house. DS used to visit here weekly and stay once every fortnight but I've not actually seen him really since June. I said that I felt like I was the one who was now single as I barely see DP or his DS lately - bearing in mind they live about a 15 min drive away.

When DP mentioned it - I didn't say anything straight away which he initially took for me being 'funny' about it. Which seems rather defensive bearing in mind I'd not said a word.

I keep going from not being bothered (I'm not one to get jealous, which DP has remarked on before now) to my gut telling me the total opposite.

This is on top of the fact that I told him that he's treating the place like a hotel lately, home for tea, back out again for hours and then back to sleep. This is making me mightly pissed off lately and this just seems to be tipping me over into thinking god knows what.

Not sure what I'm asking but feel it's going to be a long night!

I imagine he went round hers and said 'muthas chucked me out' and she said ' well you're not moving in here' and he said, 'ah c'mon you liked me enough the other night' blah blah and she said, 'don't be daft, tell her it was nothing etc etc'

He's a donkey. Hope you are ok op.

Agree with above. She doesn't want him when he's single. He needs back with you. Wonky iron he is handy to store but fuck no will she have such a sad weak man in her life full time!

I used to keep my old wonky irons in case of emergency, but then realised that they still dribble rusty water over everything.
Wonky irons are irredeemable, just like cheating men

Wonky irons are irredeemable, just like cheating men

This should be a stock MN phrase from now on

I shall be treating him like a lying fuckwit

Which is no more than he deserves, Mutha, and may I say that you have been exceedingly magnanimous throughout and will no doubt continue to conduct yourself with a dignity he and his ex can merely aspire to - but won't because they are locked into a deeply dysfunctional relationship with each other.

I have a couple of my great-grandma's flat irons and there's nothing wonky about them. They make brilliant doorsteps and would see off any con man intruder who was foolish enough to trespass on my affections property.

Thanks all for your continued support, diabetic ponies and ironed hedgehog's.

You are all just awesome.

Am tired of thinking about it all tbh. So I am off to do a half marathon instead!! GNR here I come

Porcupine, I'm sorry, but you can't just pretend it didn't happen :( poor Goldie. I know you just wanted to give him a cuddle... But it wasn't right and he suffered the consequences.

Mutha good luck on the GNR! Amazing!

GO!MUTHA!GO!!!!!!

1. He's a liar.
2. He obviously is unhappy now that he's ended up with this other woman and is trying to come back from it all.
3. Even if he was telling the truth (which he isn't), it's not OK for junto be involved in anything so personal as buying a pregnancy test for this other woman. If she was really an ex he would have run a mile and told her that's not his responsibility. Also for two people who are exes to each other, they clearly over share intimate information which makes me think they were up to something.
4. Ruuuuuuuun! Run like the wiiiiind! (Chariots of Fire music playing in my head).

Him to*

No idea what junto means.

Just caught up! Glad you saw him, sounds like he's been reading a script called "excuses for cheating bastards when they've been rumbled". Good luck with the run, watch out for hedgehogs

of course the OW has said no you can't stay here.
If she had wanted to live with him, they would be long before now - they have 2 DC together. She wants what she wants from him and that is it. And she does not want to be living with him.

I know someone who had 2 DC with XP who she absolutely did not want to live with. But when she wanted a 3rd she asked XP to be the father - so all 3 of her DC would be fully related, and access etc would be straightforward (rather than having another XP or no father around to deal with). He said no though so she had to get a job instead.

Go You MUTHA running a half marathon - wow. Bet you feel amazing after.

How did the run go? Did you get on Telly

FuckYouChris But I just wanted a goldfish cuddle!

Mutha You're a badass who also runs half marathons?! My admiration grows! I shall be cheering you on in spirit from my armchair with wine bottle treadmill at the gym.

If you do ever bump into him again, and you do end up feeling like you need to explain (which you don't), my latest technique with awkward people is avoiding the argument.

So he says "I didn't sleep with her"

You respond, "the fact that you had a level of intimacy with your ex, that meant she came to you for a pregnancy test, means you are not someone who I want to be with."

Basically don't have the argument he's inviting you to, because when it comes down to it, it's not relevant. He admits to stomping on numerous boundaries and you know he lied and neglected you. Those are good reasons to leave someone, before you even start on the obvious cheating.

But you're more likely to be sensible and strong and not respond at all :) so you can ignore my musings either way.

I hope you managed a PB :)

God I can't run for a bus (fat n unfit! Trying to change that) so yes massive kudos for that too.