Feeling uneasy about dp staying at his exes

[MuthaHubbard]

Just that really, something in my gut tells me something is off.

For the first time in our nearly 4 yr relationship, dp is staying at his XW's house with his ds. He only mentioned this about an hour before going - that apparently he was going to stop on a camp bed in his sons room. This is because he hasn't really seen him this week (bit of a fib), ds's grandfather just died (a month ago) and funnily enough his XW is now single (over a month or so ago).

Since his XW became single, he has been seeing his son a lot more than the normal twice a week. Now I am totally fine with this, am very happy that he's got the chance to spend more time with his ds - but this is always at his XW house. DS used to visit here weekly and stay once every fortnight but I've not actually seen him really since June. I said that I felt like I was the one who was now single as I barely see DP or his DS lately - bearing in mind they live about a 15 min drive away.

When DP mentioned it - I didn't say anything straight away which he initially took for me being 'funny' about it. Which seems rather defensive bearing in mind I'd not said a word.

I keep going from not being bothered (I'm not one to get jealous, which DP has remarked on before now) to my gut telling me the total opposite.

This is on top of the fact that I told him that he's treating the place like a hotel lately, home for tea, back out again for hours and then back to sleep. This is making me mightly pissed off lately and this just seems to be tipping me over into thinking god knows what.

Not sure what I'm asking but feel it's going to be a long night!

Op I'll bet they don't ride off in to the sunset because she isn't interested when he's single.

And he's probably just realised what he's fucked up!

It is so much drama I don't want - I quite like an easy life!

I have been ok all week as out of sight/out of mind whilst waiting for shed to catch fire.

I can provide matches...

He will never admit the truth, even if you break up, this will be his little act of defiance to get back at you for dumping him, and so there'll always be that little shred of doubt in your mind, was I wrong?
You are not wrong!
You remember how he reacted when you confronted him re the pregnancy test, there wasn't a chance he was going to tell you the truth. He just disengages.
He is so used to lying, he has no problem with it.

Do you know what - I hope he really has started to realise what he's lost and how much he's fucked up. Knobjockey.

Tell him to take it (the drama) somewhere else. This is what I said upthread about letting him speak indulges him, and makes you feel worse.

He sounds so annoying, quite frankly. I'd be swatting him away like a fly now.

Disengaging is definitely the right word there bjrce - that's exactly what it felt like when I confronted him.

Very generous of you magoria

Mutha if he hadn't already realised he wouldn't have bothered concocting that lovely story for a stab at getting you back onside!

Enjoy the misery he will feel when he remembers why he and his ex failed before multiple times

I agree with Any Fucker. This is bullshit with probably a small pinch of truth.

His ex probably had a pregnancy scare from a one night stand at some point and confided this to him, for whatever warped reason. But not this time. No way.

You don't buy a pregnancy test for your ex if you are not involved.

You don't sit there and lose the power of speech when you've done nothing wrong.

You don't just walk out if the house with nothing to say unless you are cornered.

You don't wait a week to come back with a story if your relationship has gone south.

You don't stay overnight at your ex's when you live 15 mins away.

You don't do any of this and all the other crap he's done unless you are playing games.

You did absolutely the right thing with dignified silence. Don't engage now unless it's to arrange picking up his stuff.

I bet he didn't mention that did he??? He's using it to keep his foot in the door.

He wants a nice cosy life at your place whilst he keeps his options open with his ex. You scuppered his comfy setup and he's desperately trying to get back in.

I still think you're right on track and one bad Mutha the way you've kicked him to touch

Yes Happy - plus exes are exes for a reason. I hope he feels a smidgen of what I felt the other night.

They must have concocted this together as well because he knows I could easily ring/message her etc. Fuckers.

Thank you learning. You ain't too shabby either!
Am too old for games and bullshit. If the tables were turned, I would have admitted everything straight away and been on the doorstep daily.

But he's obviously not got the same moral compass as me

He's had a week to come up with that.

I'm someone who always finds plot holes in films, so I immediately thought that if she really had ONS and thought she was pg, why wait for 2weeks to do test then suddenly need XP to pick the test up? And if this were all true, why not tell you as soon as you told him you knew.

It's a good story but the Oscars for Best bullshit Screenplay is not going to your XP

Bet the one night stand was with him. He's so fucking lying. Just keep ignoring his pleas. He'll lose his " I'M A FUCKING STUD " strut and end up a limp dick pleading with 2 women who don't want him at the moment. Hilarious.

He said something about she had told him the day after her period was late, and he'd said that she should wait a week or two to do a test as too early.

He shouldn't have secrets from me.

Do you know what, if he'd actually told me the truth the very first time I confronted him (even if to say he had cheated) then maybe there would have been a way to come back from it.

In the past when someone had made a pass at him, he came home and told me straight away. Why not this time? What exactly has she got over him? She made a mistake, feels ashamed due to timing etc, you tell no-one. Least of all your ex.

Because she doesn't want him but he's like a wonky iron. Fuck letting it clutter up your home but better keep it handy in the shed in case it's needed. He's a constant puppet. Let him go.

Yes notasingle - this is what I think. He can then go from having 2 women to none.

(((((op's diabetic pony))))

Seriously. That's story has more holes than a string vest!

I had a fiance who thought 2 was better than one good relationship. I found his texts begging her to sleep with him ( she was freshly dumped and enjoying the attention but way younger than him ) dumped him and outed it, then she publicly shamed him as harassing her and he quickly became untouchable you're doing great. He's in for a life of being a puppet. Leave him to it.

So she had a ONS that she's apparently 'mortified' about, but she doesn't have a single girlfriend that she could confide in, and who might be able to pick up a test?

Instead, she has to rely on her ex, her DC's father, who's been staying overnight at her place, and who's in a relationship with another woman.

Yeah, right...

Mutha, there is no way that's true. Please tell me you didn't buy that?

I don't believe a word that comes out of his mouth right now. Thankfully I have you lot here to 'wobble' at!

Wobble away my love. We've all had a bastard at some point. And a puppet controlled by the ex. We sadly talk from experience.

Thank you - it is much appreciated, babbling on here stops any doubts entering my head!

Yep, I can smell the bullshit from here ...

Phew! Wobble away.