I have been dating a guy for about 3 months. I say three months but we've only had 4 dates because we both have insane summer-heavy jobs and also both had long holidays away over summer with our respective kids.
We keep in touch via text and phone quite regularly.
I like him...he ticks all the boxes. Handsome, clever, kind, responsible but he is also a it rubbish at romance which he apologises for. I admittedly feel no sense of intimacy at all with him.
I ended it a few weeks ago as I felt he wasn't making enough effort to see me and contact was dwindling which I read as a loss off interest. He phoned and said it wasn't a loss of interest he was just busy over the summer and was going to put some real effort into building a relationship after summer. He said he was a bit lost after being hurt a few years ago and this was his first relationship and he seems sincere (he's not a player) so I decided to give the benefit of the doubt.
So this week is the week our schedules finally get easier and we had long ago booked to spend the weekend away together, and I am meant to be leaving in a few hours.
On the upside, he has made the effort to plan something, and he has also made plans for a couple more dates and another weekend away next month and has acted the perfect gentleman in that sense.
On the downside, he's barely talked to me all week and could have made time to ask me out for a drink or something but hasn't. He went two days without a single text or call at the start of the week, then said he was sorry someone had died (sounded like a very long distance ex work colleague) and then the past two days he had done it again to the point I woke up this morning unsure if I was going or not. He's also not once said he is looking forward to seeing me or anything at all.
I got a text this morning finally to say sorry he'd been mentally busy and what time and when to meet him.
I don't want to be a drama queen, but it all feels so depressing....going on a weekend away with a man who can't be fucked to find 30 seconds in a day to text me and hasn't said a word about being pleased to see me after 6 weeks apart.
What should I do?
I am leaning towards going along and trying to talk to him and get to the bottom of this cold behavior and figure out what's going on and on the other hand I just feel a bit like going out with someone else who can be arsed a bit more.
He's not a dick...not at all...but I get the sense he's not the best with women.
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Help me decide what to do tonight - cancel or not?
brannigan · 21/08/2015 10:44
He might be gay?! If there's any doubt that's never good.
DarkNavy that's funny. I think you actually might be right 
It did say "I've managed to navigate through life without anyone ever sleeping with me and ignoring me afterwards so thank you for broadening my horizons. What an incredible jerk move. It's just basic manners lacking here. I should have walked out of this situation weeks ago when you first started acting like you couldn't be arsed. So let me make this simple for you. If you can't manage to find 10 seconds to text me, I don't have 10 more seconds to spend on you" . Please don't reply to this message Just delete my number"
After which followed the "I'm sorry, I am just not ready" messages and the soul outpouring.
So I suppose technically, techically you're right. I dumped him. But only by getting there hours before he plucked up his missing balls to do it.
I am getting ALL those books right this moment on Amazon and am going to change my life and become much tougher.
Incidentally that was the first "how dare you" message I have ever sent a man in my life. I usually just slink off with my tail between my legs claiming "dignity" but am starting to feel sick of holding in from telling someone when they are a total cock.
It made me feel violated having sex like that and then being ignored.
Observation here...
Ar there many reading "the rules" for women out there somewhere? I mean normal men, not the weirdo-still lives with mummy-plays video games in pants at 40 type?
As I am reading the kindle version of one of these it reminds me a lot of a book I bought called "how to talk so kids will listen".
Are men this pathetic that we actually need books to get them to act normally through covert tactics?
A few of my male friends hit on me today. On account of me being dumped. "friends" that I quite like and have known a while...like "ah, she's single...I hall swoop in and be a shoulder to cry on".
It's like the permanent quest to get in your pants that never ends. One actually just texted me to say "you know what thy say, the best way to get over a man is?" 
I never, ever thought I would say this because I love men and have an amazing son but someties they just seem generally more entitled, selfish, self obsessed, childish, immature emotionally, dense and twattish than we are as a rule.
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