What went wrong - why isn't he speaking to me?!

[haz1602]

Been friends with this guy for nearly 4 years. We are very close. We have recently started seeing each other and were about to go official. I was meant to see him last night and he said yesterday morning that it will be good etc.

Anyway, that was the last text he sent. We usually text all day. He ignored my reply. He ignored several snapchats (we send silly ones back and forth) and then he sent me one of his nephew later on. I replied asking if I will be seeing him, he opened it and never replied. I txted him twice asking if everything was okay and he never replied. He has read them.

I don't know what to do. I'm going out of my mind and feel worried sick. I don't know whether to try contact him again or what or to just leave it be. I am at work and feel like crying :( He has been online all morning, so he is clearly just ignoring me. Like I said, we have been friends for many years and we talk every single day.

So he replied telling me to stop stressing and stop stressing him out and nothing was happening. He then said he had a lot on his plate at the minute and sent a snapchat of his baby nephew.

I was texting another friend and seen that he was typing message for quite a while...he never sent it though so I don't know what it was going to be.

I remember this happening to me, not 4 years worth of friendship before hand though.

I'd know the guy about 6 months, constant texting, long phone calls ect.. When we went 'official' after a week it all changed.. He ignored me for a week, and it drove me crazy, I say worried, sad angry ect.

Sadly all you can do is take the time to get over him, it's a shit way that he has treated you and no one deserves it but don't give him any more satisfaction knowing you're hurt.

Sounds like this relationship has got off to a good start. ..LTB I think.

Has he just sent that, Do you mean he sent you another snapchat of his nephew?

If so I'd seriously ignore him, how can he change so dramatically and tell you to stop stressing him out when he's ignored you.

If it is a second snap chat of he's nephew i think he's just doing that to divert you from thinking he's being offish with you. He sounds a tosser OP, you deserve better!

Yeah he sent the snapchat after and after I had seen him typing (but he never sent the message). I've not been on whatsapp since or replied to the video. He know I think his nephew is adorable (few months old) so knows it'll make me smile but I haven't replied tonight.

Well he can fuck off then. Your feelings aren't important if he thinks they aren't. Is this really the first time he has behaved as if your feelings are lesser than his?

He's never been like this before. He is usually lovely - telling me how great things are gonna be, how much he misses me etc. It's hit me like a ton of bricks.

I'd ignore him for as long as he ignored you, while being active on Snapchat with other people.

Some people might think that petty but I think reaction to copy cat behaviour can show something about his level of respect for you. In other words, is it only acceptable from him but not from you?

He might have been typing to done one else.

op ive had this and it wrecks your head. Going through every emotion in five mins then it starts again.

Don't contact him. And when/if he does dont fall over yourself to accommodate him. Regardless if he is having issues his treatment of you is shit. You deserve better. I had the whole host of excuses illness, working, stress. My friends where telling me to give him 'space' but in reality he was treating me like shit.

It takes a few seconds to type 'I'm stressed or im busy' the ignoring is selfish and cowardly.

My friend was married to husband for thirty years and found out about his 'other life' when going through devorce. It nearly killed her. You don't really know anybody op. Just the side they want you see.

Sorry OP, your not being silly - he just sounds like he's being a dick.
His reply is pretty dismissive so if I was u, I would leave it as that.. If he then contacts you to explain the sudden coldness then fair enough (though it would have to be a bloody good reason)
IMO it sounds like it's a couple of dismissive texts away from a 'lets just stay friends' text... Only my opinion though!

Is it possible he's been saying all the right things and being around online/on snapchat etc in a way that allowed you to perceive him as your 'rock', while actually he was just as available to multiple other people and didn't put as much weight on your relationship as you at all? And perhaps things developing into a romantic relationship were an unexpected pleasant surprise that he's now decided he's not actually interested in?

There's every chance that this is way off, but I have seen a few people have vastly different impressions of what the deal is with their contact when it's been internet/text-based.

He told you to stop stressing him out?

Seriously OP, he's shown exactly how he feels. Leave it be now.

Why do men do this sometimes. I feel for you OP.

I don't really get this thing where you're supposed to ignore him while being in knots and unsure what's going on. He's dropped you, and yet the whole dropping process is being painfully stretched over days and days. Take control back. If it was me I'd text him now and say something like 'Ok forget about it, I'm done with this'. And then you both know exactly where you are.

Then you can ignore him, if he even bothers to text you something to ignore.

I also feel for you.

The best thing IMHO is finish this. I think it is one of those madness inducing situations of 'why' that you will never know. You can spend endless hours, days, weeks, trying to work him out but you never will.

He has treated you appallingly. I believe that it will only get worse. And I speak from a certain amount of experience. You need to disengage. Totally. For your own well being. You would not have treated him this way. Find someone worthy.

treX the problem with that is if op does that her 'friend' can/will turn round and blame her for ending it, for being needy and irational. Which fucks with your head too.

Personally I'd delete the wassap and snap chat and see if he turns up at her door. Because if he really cared about her he would want to see if she was ok.

What's wrong with taking the blame for ending it? He's moved the goalposts overnight. No explanation! He's a dick.

Bless you op. Just ignore him, best punishment for him and healthiest solution for you.

Yeah he is a dick.

But if op is the same as I was at that point hearing someone twist it round and make out I spoiled everything when all I ever wanted was too make it work really messed with my head.

I walked away with not a shred of dignity. I wish I would have gone silent and blocked him.

Op maybe different though

Are you sure his nephew is his nephew, op?

He's engineering an argument as an excuse to finish things the coward

I agree ursula

Is it possible that he has some big family crisis going on or something, and he really hasn't got time to respond ? I remember years and years back at the beginning of our relationship, my now DH went awol for a couple of days, turned out his brother's wife had attempted suicide and all hell had broken loose.
Mind you, this was in ancient days before mobiles, texting etc.
It only takes a few seconds to text that something has kicked off and he won't be in touch and will fill you in when he gets chance.
Maybe he's trying to ease out and thinks if you keep pestering he can say he can't be with someone so needy ?

It's all gone quiet. They must be electronically communicating. As in typing or texting instead of speaking.