Hobbit's Bar is still open.... Still finding it hard.. Part 12 .

[Hobbitwife001]

Well ladies and gentlemen, we're still open for business, this shit is still hard and we are still KOKO ing .....

Jess still finds time to support our endeavours with her Jessagrams...

Let's carry on shall we...

I'm now also listening to Tubthumping

KOKO swiss I find a rant on here helps a lot.

Sorry 2little for my crass cross-post there.

Excuse typos that was meant to say offered mid week contact after advice from children's centre x

Am settling in and will order a lovely large gin and tonic please. I'm sorry for those having a tough time. My fuckwanker is in Italy with his fuckbucket desperately trying to make this the love affair of the century.

He's chosen the precise day I started my new job, leaving me to do all the nursery drop offs and pick ups and deal with my emotions. I won't get a break this weekend either. Pretty inconsiderate.

I haven't any more energy to be angry but he's not helping his cause.

KOKO lovely ladies.

I've been keeping myself busy tonight but want to email exDP and ask, "is this situation making you happy?". I just feel so sad.

We normally see each other on Saturday night for a film and takeaway, just as before. But I'm starting to wonder if it's such a good idea here on in. I've told him that I reckon we need counselling if we're to salvage a friendship but the onus is on him as I need an indication that he really means it. Nothing appears.

I haven't email him, but tonight the loneliness is very raw and painful.

Un-MNetty hugs to you myturn, evenings can be really difficult, during the day it's much easier to stay busy and feel a bit more normal..

I think it helps just to share. I feel better for just writing that down and acknowledging my feelings for what they are right now.

I'm listening. Lonely too.

Isn't it really shit at times all of this?

10pm. Reckon I can go to bed. Good night all.

Yep. Sure is. But we are ok still.

Sleep well sweetiepie. Things will be better in the daytime.

Night all
KOKO xx

myturn4now - Sat night - why? Doesn't it make it all so shite?

At first I found it really helpful. But now I'm not so sure. I just can't bring myself to draw that line TOWO.

Paddling you're definitely right, I'm lonely rather than wanting to see exDP.

I need to figure out what I want . Perhaps this is similar to how he felt before he plucked up the courage to leave?

Well, if he didn't discuss how he felt with you and give the relationship any real chance of being repaired via counselling etc, myturn , he wasn't showing bravery, he was showing cowardice surely?

Is it being brave to walk away from someone without explanation?
Just because he isn't happy? Why was he unhappy? It's hard to gauge your age, from your posts, do you not have friends and family to go out with rather than have him come around on a sat night. That can't be a nice thing to do surely, it would just reinforce your feelings of loss. Or is it just a gradual detachment, or do you hope he will change his mind and come back.
KOKO my love, x

It's a gradual detachment hobbit, it was a part of our routine and a little treat at the end of the week. It's very easy, comfortable company, making an effort doesn't feel like an effort. But now the evening feels like a poor imitation of what we had. A shadow.

I think I'm going to keep today's appointment and then talk it through with friends before next week.

Thank you for taking the time to reply both of you. Reading your posts I can see that I haven't been able to give an accurate picture of the situation. The bottom line is, for me, not a case of if I break contact but when. And this morning the answer is "not today". But I can feel it coming, and I think I'm just getting used to the decision before I act on it.

Myturn, sounds like you've moved on a bit and may now be ready to stop the Saturday nights?
I realised for me that it is easier now not to see him, although contact is pretty much always at our house, so I make a point of going out if I can. Even if it's just walking round the park with a playlist

Tub thumping - brilliant, it may have to go on my 'happy' playlist
KOKO

Cross posted with you myturn..
I think you are doing well to have got to the point where you are questioning whether seeing him helps you now.

Myturn - I get it. It's hard. We sat on my tiny couch a few weeks ago and nattered for hours and it was lovely. And then he left... Tears a hole on your hand.

I'm alone today, handed them over to ex last night and I didn't drink. 3 weeks boozing, not eating or sleeping had caught up with me so I slept.

I saw a friend last night, I say a friend, she's only just turned 16 but we like each other. Today I'm washing the couch covers and walking the dog. High octane stuff.

His new gf is young enough to legally be my daughter. Wtf? :(

I've been watching "cutting it" - hairdressers from around 2002 on bbc. The two main characters split up and gav goes on a bender and shags 20 women in a month. It wouldn't matter would it? Agh. Maybe I should just watch fucking bambi where mum gets it!

Heart, not hand. I am not the physical incarnation of the child of god.

Are you sure swiss?

Checking in. I have had a couple of days of swinging verbal punches at STBXH. Not all that proud of myself but more meh than ashamed - is that progress? I think it's similar to your situation myturn - we have always seen each other as good friends. I need some other friends. I know that people sometimes do manage to be friends with their ex, but I am feeling that a period of hate might need to come in the middle before I could achieve that. Working on it.

Paddling that was a very good post. I've become so insular and isolated recently that sometimes I feel I've forgotten how to just BE in society. How to talk to people, even in shops. Worrying. I am probably not going to be able to have pets so I need to brush up on my human skills!

Interview on Tuesday - hope I get it. Would move a lot of things on.

2little is it hot where you are? Hope you are feeling ok.

sparkly do you have named playlists? I am from the compilation tape dinosaur era but am going to start playlists now - do you all have named playlists? I'm thinking of doing one called "Wanker" - heard "Let's Kiss This Thing Goodbye" (Del Amitri, don't judge me) - that sounds like a good start

Good luck with your interview Happy
I do have named playlists - I think that I may have to steal your idea and name one 'wanker!'

I've got some proper cheesy stuff on mine - how about Des'ree 'you gotta be'