Has your partner seen your vagina?

[frazzledmomma]

I know this is a weird one but I can only ever bring myself to have sex in pitch black or still wearing bottoms (i.e skirt). This has been the same with every partner. I am not comfortable naked and have always avoided oral sex for the same reason. Is there a deep-rooted psychological issue here or is this common? Am not particularly happy with my body/weight but have only recently gained weight yet this has always been an issue.

I can't understand how you can have a good sex life without seeing each other's bits, oral is very important and knowing what's what down there ( where to touch, what turns you on ). Before I was brave enough to let anyone look down there my sex life was pretty boring and vanilla, oral rarely happened and it was not that enjoyable at all. Since having kids I am not bothered at all about my bits being seen, I quite like my man to go down there and explore, it turns both of us on and makes things much more enjoyable.

Since having DS 11 years ago, cut from fanjo to asshole, i have a lovely scar that runs all the way & a bobbly knot thing near my anus where stitches didn't heal, but the wonders of the vagina still fascinate me! I do look at mine It's canny & gives me (and others) lots of pleasure.

I'm still shocked at no oral!! Oral in daylight so i / he can see exactly what it's all about is awesome

should've name changed too

capricalia Go back and make sure they have repaired you properly. Have a look on the any old prolapse/fallen fanjo threads in gen health.

I had my bits repaired after 20odd years and am so much happier with myself. It was worth the GA and not being able to sit properly for ages.

You have the right to be comfortable as Pp said get yourself checked over. It's fixable and the medical profession see it all the time. Joys of womanhood!

Thanks DayLillie. I think I'll make an appointment to make sure everything is as it should be as there is an odd sticky out bit that wasn't there before. There was me thinking I'd got away easy without so much as a stitch at the time. Almost wish I hadn't looked now, ignorance was bliss

Yep he's had a gander at everything. I did go to the GP once as I couldn't find my coil strings, I told her OH had had a good look and couldn't see them either.

She did say rather sniffly, "well you would need a speculum to see them properly". I said well yes we had one and he had a Maglite as well, but still couldn't see them.

The male student stood there with his mouth open, GP giggled.

I am amazed there are women who have never seen their own fanny

Lord, some of you lot are repressed and I must be an over-sharer.

My 17 year old has a copy he painted of a Georgia O'Keefe on his bedroom wall. I don't know what that says, probably nothing as I don't think he's made the association.

I've been self conscious of showing my naked body in the past but I've never once stressed about the aesthetics of my crotch. I do wonder at a good sex life that doesn't include oral sex.

Good grief.

Some threads on here really are an eye-opener aren't they?

If you can't just relax with your partner and accept one another for who and what you are, love one another's imperfections and laugh about them then it's a pretty poor situation.

She did say rather sniffly, "well you would need a speculum to see them properly". I said well yes we had one and he had a Maglite as well, but still couldn't see them.

I'm Catholic and not repressed but I hate oral so he is never usually down there with his face. .

If someone is going for a bath we usually say does someone need the loo before the bath. Who wants to be taking a bath while someone is grunting a shit out beside them?

Arf at Find that Fanny. . I could imagine Louis Walsh shouting "you look like a pop star, you sound like a pop star! " at a load of growlers!

Snap Oldraver

DH has seen my actual vaginal because I couldn't feel my mirena strings so he grabbed a torch and had a look. No speculum though so I did need the doc to have a look.

He has caught a couple of babies as well.

I can't stand receiving oral sex. It annoys the fuck out of me for some reason. Puts me in a foul mood. Very strange.

NC for this. My labia minora are longer than my outer labia. I've always been self conscious about it, so I've never felt comfortable showing this part of my body. I haven't got a nice, neat package! I think mine is quite ugly looking if I'm honest. This isn't something that's talked about very often either (even on the Internet) so I'm at a loss to know how common it is.

To the poster who waxes up to 50 fannies a week - out of 50 how many do you reckon are like mine ...?

I had a large labia minora. In my teenage years I would hear peers giggling or be disgusted by a large labia. I wish I had a good answer but unfortunately it has really affected me, and I never enjoyed oral sex.

2 years ago (in my late 20s) I took out a bank loan and had labiaplasty. I'm still paying off the loan. But oh my god I cried the first time I've seen it - no dangly bits, all tucked in nicely!

I now let my husband see me naked, and oral sex is oh my... its incredible and once labia healed I had my very first orgasm from oral sex. .. and I love not being self concious.

Yes I wish I could just find a way to stop being self concious without the surgery, but I am happy now.

Who wants to be taking a bath while someone is grunting a shit out beside them?

this

Good for you Greta. I think surgery to correct this is a great idea and worth it to feel normal. I'm in my late forties now so I wouldn't consider it but if I was 20 years younger i would definitely have it done.

gabby I believe it's much more common than people think. I remember hearing in school that there are 2 'main types' and that's those which 'dangle' and this which don't. After watching some porn with an ex in a few occasions it proved this and a lot of the girls would have the larger minora, hence my not being phased by mine.

My dp is like this. It's maddening.

Even though I've seen him, he hates changing in front of me, prefers the light off and is ridiculously modest. I can't break him of it. He grew up with sisters so maybe that's part of it, he's also very self conscious.

At worst it makes me feel rejected, sexually frustrated and gets contagious (I have lost that feeling of being comfortable naked because he is so funny about it). Even though our sex life at times has been good, it lacks the comfortable spontaneity that I've had with other boyfriends.

I think you should slowly try and get more comfortable with yourself - sex in low light, or the shower or somewhere a little more open. You might surprise yourself!

I actually think the problem is my outer labia are way too short ... not long enough to contain everything, hence the labia minora hang down slightly. I've seen photos of "normal" labia and mine are tiny in comparison. I could never wear one of those string thongs for example - it would be physically impossible for me.

It really is incredible. Just looked at that link that meringue33 posted. Not really thought about my vulva before, weight is always the overriding issue for me and it doesn't leave room for other worries! But I looked at just one panel of the exhibition just now on the website and there really is no standard vulva at all. Not even slightly. There is unbelievable variation there. Everyone should look at it.

I just looked at that link Gwen, yes, incredible indeed. There really is no one size fits all - everyone is so different.

My DH was fascinated by the process of our babies being born and I worried the first time that it would put him off - nope he's happy.

Yes. We have sex with the lights on- I like to see him as much as he likes to see me! He's also seen 2 babies come out of it. Neither of us keen oral sex though.

What has interested me about this thread is everyone talking about 'my bits' and 'his bits' and who does what to which.
When I get down to it with DP, it's not about two separate people doing things to each other. It seems like I'm just part of a larger being enjoying all of its own parts, with shared rather than separate responses and feelings.

Reading that back I haven't explained it very well. Sorry.

I don't consider my vulva ugly at all, I think it's bloody brilliant and so has every man who's seen it. I inspect it regularly to make sure it's all OK down there, and am more than happy to show it off to my sexual partners. I hate having sex in the dark; I want to see what I'm doing and want to look at my partner. And I do rather like watching the...ehem...ins and out of the action in strategically placed mirrors on occasion too. I'm just very visually stimunlated I suppose. I think my boyfriend looks lovely naked (and clothed) and I love his junk. Lovely set he has [sighs]

"Who wants to be taking a bath while someone is grunting a shit out beside them?"
Euw, no thanks. I'm fairly uninhibited, have let men watch me pee, but I draw the line at shit.