My husband is a cunt

[myhusbandisacunt]

My husband is a cunt.
#justsaying

I found out on Saturday (whilst on a family holiday) that he has been having an affair for 10 years.
10 fucking pisstaking, lying, cuntish fucking years.

This is why he is a cunt and I hate him.
I also wonder where the actual fuck her (OW) self esteem is hiding, and also wonder why I am such a gullible fucking prick.

I probably won't post again on this thread, but if I do it may not be for ages as I am currently packing all his fucking shit up, I am just taking a break.

I am not a troll, mn can verify this if needs be.

I know how you feel. Found out mine us been having an affair for 7 years, right through both pregnancies. I despised him so much I couldn't even feel angry, only with myself at being such a bad judge of character. Now blissfully remarried to an incredible person. Way to go girl

What a wonderful update! I'm glad you're in control of your new life. Enjoy uni! What an inspiration you are to your children.

So pleased you are now enjoying the life you should be! Onwards and upwards!

3 Years On Update!!!!!!

Thought I'd revisit this thread to update...
Will start with me & kids & also an update on ex & ow.

3 yrs ago I was at rock bottom - lost my home, marriage & income all within a few months.
Now - kids are 13 & 16, both doing really well; still loads of contact with their dad and everything seems to be on track.
I'm going into my final year at uni in Sep 😮 - fingers crossed for a pass!

In May this year when the weather started to come good, and just after I'd done my end of year exams, something clicked in me.
Although I've been doing ok & getting on with life for the last 3 years, I've been quite reclusive socially - it was a choice, but it's completely unlike the 'real me' to spend so much time alone.
Anyway, in May something clicked & I just felt ready to face the world properly again - to sort out my health & fitness & to start socialising with people like I used to.
I feel great - happy & confident again, and not afraid of failing at things. I realised I had properly made my peace with the past & was properly future-focussed again.
Even feel motivated to give up smoking finally! (I had started again post split).

So! All was well in my world.
Then.....
In June, in the middle of the night, I got a phone call from the OW 😮
I had just got in from a night out (was sober though) & was in good spirits so decided to answer her call.
Long story short, she'd found out that he'd been cheating on her for months with someone else.

Over a few phone calls, we managed to unravel the truth of the last 13 years from all his lies.
She's now where I was 3 years ago & is not only dealing with the heartache of his cheating, but also the guilt of her part in my misery. She'd never really, truly felt any real guilt before because of what she believed me to be like (his lies) & that's how she justified being the ow for so long (she was 'saving' him etc). Also, she truly believed that we had been separated for large parts of their affair (we hadn't), which was believable due to the geographical distances involved.

Surprisingly? It's given me no joy or 'ha! karma' feelings that my ow had the same thing done to her - I just feel really sorry for her & pissed off on her behalf that he's done what he has.
Nobody deserves to be treated like that.

In a weird twist of reality, me & my ow found out over the course of the last 6 weeks (several phone convos & even a face-to-face meeting) that we've a lot in common and have actually become friends now....!!

So!
3 years on?
Kids ok ✅
I'm ok ✅
Friends with the OW 😮
Husband still a cunt ✅

For anyone else going through a break-up at the mo, keep fighting, keep believing in yourself & keep on keeping-on.
Every day is a new day & a day further on from the past.
It's a long, slow process, but you will get to a point where you can find peace & happiness again.

MN was a huge support to me 3 years ago when I was at rock bottom & the anonymous strangers who gave me their time & support on here were amazing xxx

Lots & lots of love & strength to anyone who is going through similar

Great update @myhusbandisacunt - you're not the first person I've heard of who has ended up friends with the OW. Glad you and your kids have come through the other side

Lovely to read your update. I'm glad you and the children are doing well x

once a cunt always a cunt in this case.

So glad you are doing so well OP!

Your ex is a low life. Am so pleased to read that you're doing ok.

Colour me whatever shade unsurprised is (including current d'etente with OW). Who knew that after 10 years of lying to be with her, your Ex would lie to and be unfaithful to OW?

Lovely update, OP. Many congratulations and you'll be providing inspiration and encouragement to so many other women reading this.

Oh thank you so much for updating. I'm so so pleased you and the kids are thriving. And fingers crossed for your degree results.

As for the ow and your DH. Well, I couldn't really give a shit about them. You're a nicer person than me op

So glad to see your updates OP.
You've been brave and dignified and so so strong.
Well done with Uni. That's some doing with everything you were going through.
Good luck with everything.
You deserve some peace and happiness.

I love this update. Hope many others who are now where you were 3 years ago will read this. There's nothing worse at the time but....let time do it's thing and then the light will be there at the end of the tunnel. So glad you are ok op x

You know what they say OP, when they move in with the mistress, there's a position waiting to be filled. These guys just get off on the thrill of the chase, something a bit lacking inside I think. Well done you, best karma of all is a life well lived and staying civil. The girl done well !!

You've been brave and dignified and so so strong.

I have been FAR from dignified at many points throughout the last 3 years! 😂

Also didn't feel particularly brave or strong if I'm honest...

It's only now that I'm totally at peace with myself & back to my old self that I can see just how far I've come & what I've achieved.

I was so lucky to have rl support & love from friends & family, & also the strangers on MN who give unconditional support & perspective when needed.

Thank you all for all the lovely comments on this thread - from the beginning until now.
I hope it helps someone else going through similar to see they're not alone & that things do get better xxxxx

best karma of all is a life well lived and staying civil

YY to this

@myhusbandisacunt

(Great title) 😂

Great news to hear. I’m in month 6 of a 12 year spouse and mother/wife leaving for her coworker she’s known less than 9 months.

When I broke my back in year 4, it took me 2 years to mentally recover (I use a wheelchair).

I suspect it will be another 2 before I recover from this.

Great news on the degree.. I’m still in the smoke n beer everyday stage. Googling the shit out of everything.

Barefaced lies and she followed the cheaters / MLC script down to the letter. A great and hilarious read.

These threads have been a godsend to me on understanding.

You’ve closed that chapter. And started again.

For anyone else going thru it: I suggest:

1. Read the cheaters / MLC. Script. It truly is amazing how universally applied it is by all cheaters.

1. Write a journal. It really helps.

1. Label your emotions and process them.

1. Take one day at a time. Don’t look ahead.

1. The inlaws will not reach out or help. Don’t expect anything from them.

1. Don’t believe a word your cheating spouse says.

1. Understand what renumating and brooding is. And stop it.

1. Gather your paperwork together for the divorce.

1. Understand that people’s perspectives are their own. Weigh up what to do.

10. Talk to everyone and use your support network.

11. Stay busy active and engaged. Don’t ruminate (endless thought cycles). What ifs etc.

12. Accept it. It is real. It’s happened. Let him/her live with their choices.

For me, I hope my FIL manages to remove my name that is tattooed on his arm. The AP might not like it 😂😂👍🏽

Great update. You sound upbeat and positive. Fab to hear. Onwards and upwards

Delighted to hear how well you are doing - what a great role model you are to your DCs.

But dump the "OW friend" - you don't have things in common - you don't share the same core values - you would NEVER have caused the pain to children and wife like she did. Remember what she has done, what she is capable of.

Dont give her your precious finite time and energy - she is toxic - save it for more positive people.

She might well get back with your xDH (you did) - she might be digging for info to achieve this.

She is a dangerous woman - keep away. You will get hurt. She is only using you.

Just brilliant!

Good luck in your final year at Uni. Don’t get drawn into your exes love life drama. Not your problem. Focus on you and your future only. The best revenge is to be happy x

Ss770640 - your father in law has your name tattooed on his arm?

OP - fantastic update, so glad you're doing well

Fantastic update! So happy to hear you and your DC are doing so well.

Agree about the OW. She's not your friend. She's still the selfish cow she's always been.

@ sheep

Yes a tatto of me and wife’s names plus date when we married

You are truly amazing! Thanks for the update. You deserve only the best!

OP I’m so glad you’re doing so well - what a bloody awful time you’ve had.

I’m going to be very blunt: it’s very, very kind of you to post an update. There are so many people on this board who are going through hell with their own cunts. Your thread offers hope that the discovery of an affair doesn’t equal the end of your life.