Horrendous situation, please help

[spaghettihead5]

In recent months and weeks I've realised for definite H is very active during the night, then that he has an ow (he denies it). I gave him divorce petition on Mon.
In the last week I've realised that whereas I thought he was going out in the middle of the night for liaisons, in fact someone unknown to me is coming in to our family home, possibly with their own key. I've heard sexual activity downstairs in the sitting room and in two of the upstairs bedrooms while my children & I sleep in adjoining rooms. OMG. I'm frightened how he would react if I confronted him while DTD but I can hear a woman climax, humping, blow jobs etc almost every night if the past week.
I've talked to a solicitor about urgent next steps, the risk to the children.
I want to make sure that when custody of the children is discussed he will be unable to have them overnight. Can't believe this is happening.
What else do I need to get in place to protect the children and I before I confront him? How to confront him?Do I need evidence apart from my witness testimony on what I've heard because H will say it's such an improbable, outrageous suggestion I have imagined it and maybe I should get my mental health checked out.

Op how awful for you.. I would go and disturb them then kick him out. Tell him that you are not going to allow him to be so disrespectful to you and the children.

I was related to an arsehole that did exactly this to his wife and 3 young children(I of course went NC with him)and they lived in a flat so not even any stairs between what he was doing with another women in the frontroom and his poor wife and 3 kids.

Ignore your solicitor it is not harrasment!

It's your own home,get some cameras that record and place them somewhere downstairs that will get a clear recording for you and that he won't notice.

Once you've got the recordings site unreasonable behavior on his part for the reason that you seek to divorce him!

It could very well effect his chances of being allowed to have the children over night as well because your solicitor could say that you both feel that they're father is not acting of sound mind at the present time.

Barge in with a Supersoaker and let rip.

I believe you. Dp's uncle used to 'entertain' prostitutes in the living room while his wife & kids were upstairs. Very odd situation which the children knew about but their mum swept under the carpet. Strength to you op

OP, not to add insult to injury, but do you think these women he's bringing in are hookers? I guess it's because I just can't see any woman agreeing to sneak into a man's house in the middle of the night for a shag and then being shooed home.

Oops! Didn't read Jessie's post! I think it's more than likely hookers.

Hopefully you've separated your finances!

Plus (jeez I need to pay more attention to what I'm doing), if he IS bringing hookers into the house, I'd think a judge would be interested in that with regards to the children being allowed over night with him!

Is there any way you can check his phone/computer/whatever for escort websites or phone numbers?

Film it and get him done for solicitation. Job done, he's out of the house got a few hours and you change the locks.

Good advice OP has to work this in her favour somehow

I guess he will continue the fuck even if OP suddenly comes over. He is mean and his aim is to humiliate her. She needs to do something that will humiliate him in return and not give him the pleasure. Easiest thing would be to invite a few people who know him as well and open a bottle of champagne when thing start, start clapping. Gosh, I wouldn't be able to sit in those places. It just yukks. And your children? It is so unhygienic. Act OP faster! Do something or invite his parents unless they are the same. Do you think he can attack you?

Ohtheholiday talks sense OP.

Hope your okay this morning Nanny,have you managed to sort anything out yet?

Thanks for your concern holidays. H is extremely clever and audacious, after all my story is so barking who would believe me (& the doubters here have proved him right). He is happy to claim I'm nuts - it's called psychological abuse. At home he and ow do not vocalise at all. When the woman climaxed it was involuntary. I can hear movement for 5-6 hours(!!!) so I doubt it's prostitutes. His lack of sleep is worrying, especially driving with the children in the car.
Now I am going to really test you all. H arranged a last minute UK holiday at the end of last week, we are several hundred miles from home. I have come to look out for the children's interests in case of night time goings on, which I didn't think there would be at this distance. All the same I was puzzled how H would get his rocks off while we are away, he seems to need sex addictively. First night I almost relaxed, expecting a good night's sleep. Only to be woken in the early hours by our dog barking and growling because he could hear a stranger. 20 mins later H goes downstairs, soon after I can hear the click click click of a blowjob/handjob type combination at the bottom of the stairs - whatever is being stimulated is wet. Well some of you did ask. Then I remember that while this remote destination seems random, H has done a lot of business trips here in the past when I would guess ow (from work) tagged along. It seems ow is staying nearby. How is that for a headfuck? The next night it was a midnight till 6am session. They were vocal, I heard a lot. I slept for 3 x 20 mins all night. Last night I went downstairs as recommended on here but I think they had shot out of the back door as I expected, H is extremely cunning you see and he likes stupid cat-and-mouse with the bitch wife games that make me look foolish and him very clever. I think the dog gave them away. When I let him outside he shot off at speed in a way that said to me, "there's a chase going on, people I know are running (he didn't bark) and I want to be part of the fun".
Where do I get hold of a decent, discreet spy cam?

You should not be going on holiday with him OP. I can't see where the children are at risk if you let him take them for a few days.

Also, it's likely that he is playing a recording. Five to six hours a night, every night is less likely isn't it.

Who is this OW (for heaven sake)

Amongst all the other considerations who has the time ??
If this post is for real glad your fighting .
I hope someone on hear can help with practical advice on recording this

OP you can buy a camera on [[http://amzn.to/1ItuqSx Amazon]] - there are a lot of different ones. I guess it depends on how your lounge is set up, but I'd probably try to buy one that looks like a USB stick and can be plugged straight into your computer, or one that looks like a clock and could be put on a mantelpiece or shelving unit. If possible, I would buy one with wifi access so that it uploads to the cloud and can be accessed remotely via a phone or ipad. However that will be more expensive.

Make sure it's motion-triggered, otherwise it might just sit there recording nothing all night.

Do you think your H puts a light on in the lounge? If not you might need to look for one that works on infra-red, but that will probably be more expensive.

OP I'm sorry I doubted you initially - it does sound so fantastical and I'm sure your H knows that and it's probably why he does it, because he's gaslighting you. It sounds horrific. Have you had any contact with Womens' aid at all? I think it might be really helpful for you to contact them.

Sorry my link didn't work quite right. Amazon Spy cams

You will want to check the positioning of the camera as well, so do some test recordings and check them on your PC/phone before leaving it set up for the night.

Why did your dog bark on holiday at a stranger, but not at home? This doesn't make any sense.

So you think it's the same woman in your home and on holiday? How does she have 5-6 hours per night to have sex with a married man?

If there was a woman on the planet who would do this, surely it would be a quickie then back home?

It all sounds very strange...

Surely you must be able to surprise them without making any noise to alert them?

If 'they' are at it every night, you've plenty of opportunity.

I don't doubt that sometimes men shag ow in the family home.

But I do doubt that any wife wouldn't by now have peeped round the door at one of these marathon, noisy sessions that the kids and sensitive dog sleep through

When is your DH sleeping?