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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Horrendous situation, please help

267 replies

spaghettihead5 · 29/07/2015 14:20

In recent months and weeks I've realised for definite H is very active during the night, then that he has an ow (he denies it). I gave him divorce petition on Mon.
In the last week I've realised that whereas I thought he was going out in the middle of the night for liaisons, in fact someone unknown to me is coming in to our family home, possibly with their own key. I've heard sexual activity downstairs in the sitting room and in two of the upstairs bedrooms while my children & I sleep in adjoining rooms. OMG. I'm frightened how he would react if I confronted him while DTD but I can hear a woman climax, humping, blow jobs etc almost every night if the past week.
I've talked to a solicitor about urgent next steps, the risk to the children.
I want to make sure that when custody of the children is discussed he will be unable to have them overnight. Can't believe this is happening.
What else do I need to get in place to protect the children and I before I confront him? How to confront him?Do I need evidence apart from my witness testimony on what I've heard because H will say it's such an improbable, outrageous suggestion I have imagined it and maybe I should get my mental health checked out.

OP posts:
sensiblesometimes · 31/07/2015 18:41

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usualsuspect333 · 31/07/2015 18:51

WTAF?

VivaLeBeaver · 31/07/2015 18:54

Why don't you stay up tonight? Pretend you're not tired and read a book on the sofa/watch TV. See if Dh gets agitated?

lunar1 · 31/07/2015 19:12

What viva said, stay up. He'll soon get restless!

NorksAreMessy · 31/07/2015 20:00
Hmm
Muddlewitch · 31/07/2015 20:06

Agree with Holly, it is worrying and unsettling.

OP I hope you get the help you need whatever that may be.

wickedlazy · 31/07/2015 21:27

OP I think you should get the nanny cam. If it captures him in the act, show his parents then let them confront him. If it shows nothing, but you are still hearing all this then go to gp.

Cocacolaandchocolate · 31/07/2015 22:37

Hope you and your children went home today, leaving him behind Wine

LookAtMeGo · 31/07/2015 22:39

Gosh, OP. Hope this is resolved soon.

OuchLegoHurts · 01/08/2015 08:31

I wonder if the OP will come back...?

Charlie97 · 01/08/2015 08:33

I hope this is not a true situation! X

Dowser · 01/08/2015 09:01

I'm hoping this is a sixteen year old lad having a bit of a hoot with his mates because I find it very incredulous that out of all the women I know and have known throughout my lifetime I can't think of one of them that would not ...go...and look!

Over and out!

TiredOfPeople · 01/08/2015 09:51

OP isn't coming back, wonder why......

SmokingGun · 01/08/2015 10:56

.

Ahemily · 02/08/2015 17:40

It's gone ever so quiet here....hmmm

BradfordMum · 04/08/2015 10:54

Silence is golden!

wickedlazy · 18/08/2015 23:59

OP I hope there was a positive (for you) resolution to this. If you were hearing things, don't feel embarrassed. If you did catch him in the act, I hope your divorce is quick!

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