Horrendous situation, please help

[spaghettihead5]

In recent months and weeks I've realised for definite H is very active during the night, then that he has an ow (he denies it). I gave him divorce petition on Mon.
In the last week I've realised that whereas I thought he was going out in the middle of the night for liaisons, in fact someone unknown to me is coming in to our family home, possibly with their own key. I've heard sexual activity downstairs in the sitting room and in two of the upstairs bedrooms while my children & I sleep in adjoining rooms. OMG. I'm frightened how he would react if I confronted him while DTD but I can hear a woman climax, humping, blow jobs etc almost every night if the past week.
I've talked to a solicitor about urgent next steps, the risk to the children.
I want to make sure that when custody of the children is discussed he will be unable to have them overnight. Can't believe this is happening.
What else do I need to get in place to protect the children and I before I confront him? How to confront him?Do I need evidence apart from my witness testimony on what I've heard because H will say it's such an improbable, outrageous suggestion I have imagined it and maybe I should get my mental health checked out.

Op, sorry I know if this is really happening it will be sickening and heart wrenching to see (well it would if you had feelings for him which you claim not to) but you need to go and look.

This all sounds rather crazy, sorry for putting it that way but it does. It doesn't add up. You are going to drive yourself insane if you keep listening out for every single thing, deciding in your own head what is going on, even deciding exactly what the dogs reaction mean precisely, and not sleeping because you are constantly on the listen out for what you think is happening.

Go and look before you torture yourself to the point of making yourself ill. You may well be surprised and find out that he's watching porn and pleasing himself, or nothing is happening at all. You may, and I find it highly unlikely, find that it is what you think. Whichever way it goes you need to stop what is happening to you and your health

OP, I have rtft but in this moment why aren't you doing something to 1) find out what is happening and 2) stop him doing this to you and your children?

The minute I put my hand on the latch of my room they will leg out of the back door, I won't catch them red handed here.
I dread to think if the children have ever heard. In the past they might have thought it was both their parents.
I'm going for the camera option in the public rooms next week at home. And yes it is a nightmare. The walls are thick but the floors very thin here. I am directly above the sitting room, DD snoring gently beside me.

I'm not convinced everyone has such acute hearing as you do OP, particularly while allegedly engaged in lengthy racey sex!!!

Wouldn't just locking the back door and removing the key be the answer to prevent them 'escaping'? Even if they do go out the back door they have to eventually exit the vicinity of the property. It just makes no sense.

At least if you go down you interrupt them!

Do the camera and if you don't catch him doing anything, go to your doctor and get help.

If she stays for 5-6 hours she must need a wee at some point!

How do you know it's a woman and not a bloke?

We are surrounded by fields here.
The back door has a latch you can always open from the inside.

But she arrived in a car? Surely she isn't going to be fleeing on foot with her kecks around her ankles pursued by your randy DH? You could be out of your room and downstairs quicker than they can get out if they are mid flow!

OP, for the sake of your own sanity (and possibly that of many mumsnetters) please look. Go and surprise him. He could be doing something -anything, or you could be unwell. Either way, if you continue as you are right now you will end up making yourself ill anyway

It's a woman - she cries out when she climaxes.
Lovely.
Doubt me all you like but as I say, the floor is very thin, I am directly above the sofa and I can hear frantic activity and odd mmms and squeaks. He is not showing her his stamp collection.

He could be watching porn nanny or nothing may be happening at all. If this thread is genuine, I am concerned for your mental health tbh

Why are you listening? Go home! Tell him to stfu! Do something!

This is awful. Op, can you really not see what is going on? do you not have a phone with a camera??

The sex can't be that great if on hearing you on the stairs they'd unengage as it were and run for the hills, before you'd arrive in the room! Sounds like a Benny Hill sketch in the making.

Did he bring the same OW on holidays? Surely it can't be the same woman?

As I've said, I want evidence on camera to give to my solicitor to get H out of our house speedily and so he can't tell everyone I'm imagining things and need help. It's shit but I'm biding my time.
I would put money on him having behaved as disrespectfully as this for years already. I only found out 10 days ago, I feel another few days just has to be endured to nail the bastard good and proper, hopefully early next week.

Do you have a camera phone? Or a camera capable of video? Just take it with you. It's ridiculous to keep enduring this.