DRY 8!!!!!!

[CheesyNachos]

Hello! This is our 8th! thread for those who are abstaining from alcohol and for those who want to abstain. :) We love newbies and lurkers. We have people who have been DRY for years, for months, for weeks, days, and hours. :) ALL are welcome. We have heaps of tips and we offer support at any stage.

DRY 7 the previous thread is here...

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2347295-DRY-7?

Need to join.

Really need to join this thread. Getting my life together in all sorts of ways except for Alcohol; drink too much too often and I hate myself for it. I can go days with out but I always always go back to it. I want to quit completely, without having those ' I won't enjoy' 'it will be dull' 'no fun anymore' thoughts.

I need to do it for my health, my weight and my sanity.

:-(

I have had some bad news. The next few weeks at best are going to be stressful and the future uncertain. I really just want to get wasted. I won't, at least not tonight, anyway.

Sea and Understand the urge to get wasted. But then how much harder would it be to deal with whatever the future might hold?

Welcome petradreaming :)
Sea sorry to hear you've had bad news and agree with dash the relief from drinking will be temporary at best

Hi Petra. Someone upthread (sorry, can't remember who) mentioned some technique in which you separate out the voices that say "it'll be dull, it'll be no fun" and identify them as the voice of the addiction to booze. So then you can tell it to eff off and remind yourself of the good reasons for quitting/how little fun it always winds up being in the end.

That's what I keep telling myself Dash and Lucy. Thankfully, there is no wine in the house. If there had been I am not sure it would still be there now.

Welcome Petra. You will get great advice and support on here.

:( Sea, hope you're ok. Drinking will only be a release for a few hours and it will be one more thing to deal with when you are sober. I had only stopped a week when a family member passed away so I get it, I really do. Tonight is all you need to think of. You are strong and you can do this

So many new people.. hello, hello to one and all and forgive me for not name checking but welcome :)

Hope things are better for you too Teapot. My dd is a horrendous sleeper too, not helped by the fact that ex lets her get up in the middle of the night to watch programmes on his overnights and throws her routine out. I sympathise with how tiredness can test your patience.

All grand here. Had a lovely family day out with the dc on Sunday. I did a 10k race and they joined in doing a kids race, was great fun. Loving spending non hungover time with them but feeling a little bit lonely, adult wise lately. Had the dc a lot with access times getting messed around to fit in with whatever he has planned with work/study. I'm only ever told as a fait accompli which pisses me off a bit. Trying not to feel resentful about it as that way bitterness and alcohol lies but more lonely than anything.

Sending you good vibes Sea

How are you today Sea?

Hope the interview went well yesterday vxa.

Thanks custard and tang. Honestly, I am not good today. My anxiety symptoms are back with a vengeance.

On a positive nobody is ill or dying. Though the stress is making DH ill. He is going to go to the Drs and he never goes to the Drs.

I don't want to go into much detail but we could end up losing everything.

Sea - I'm so sorry to hear of your bad news. Well done for staying AF. I'm sure you know rationally that it's a lot easier to deal with any problem without a raging hangover to deal with too, and the depressive effect of alcohol's aftermath.

Sharing my experience in case it's of any help - I stopped drinking half way through my divorce, which has been ongoing for almost three years now. My divorce is unbelievably stressful not in the usual "ooh what percentage will I get" but because my ex is threatening to do something financially catastrophic that will also mean we lose everything. We're stuck in some sort of horrific legal rabbit hole and I can't see a way out. He's been threatening this since day 1, pretty much. For the first 1.5 years, I was drinking. I felt not only terrified, but also constantly haggard and stuck. I kept thinking "I'll sort myself out when this stress goes away", but eventually had the realisation that the stress would be lessened if I took away the crutch first. I still face the same stress from my ex, but honestly it's all so much easier to face sober than it ever was with my crutch.

Not sure if any of that makes sense. You're not alone, take it one day at a time. You're doing brilliantly. [tea]

Hi Sea - I hope you get some good news about your situation soon.

Bambam please don't worry about your driving mistakes - we were all new starters once! That's why everyone has an old banger for their first car to get through the scrapes without too much concern for your vehicle. I hope you don't mind me saying this but to me your partner sounds jealous of your sobriety and path to a positive new you. Could this be the case?

For the new people HELLO!!! And welcome.
Here's some advise that has really got me through the tough days 1. There is no third door- the only doors available are marked 'drinker' or 'non drinker'. Stop looking for the third door as it doesn't exist in our alcohol dependant worlds. 2. HALT

I'm feeling great - sorting out my pension, running again, really connected with my husband, planning next years holiday ?? every credit to you fabulous lot for getting me here. Xxx

teapot hope you get your situation sorted out soon. You're right - it's too easy to hide behind the booze and wait for another day to deal with things. Well done for giving up in the middle of all the stress.

Hello everybody, and to the new folk!

Sea I am so sorry you are having a hard time. Hang in there.

Hadron I think DP may be a bit jealous about the driving. We were both sober last night, so today is Day 8 for me, and Day 2 for him! Last night was really, really hard though. I so wanted a drink. I just felt really stressed, and DS1 was being a pain. If there had been booze I would have drunk it, so it was crucial that DP resisted last night too, or I definitely would have drank. Maybe it was because I had finished my antibiotics, and so could drink if I wanted? Anyway, I am proud to now be a week sober.

Thanks everyone for all your kind words. No desire to drink today. I am trying to keep busy and not think about it too much.

Special thanks to Teapot for sharing. You are going through so much and are always here to offer support. I really hope things get resolved soon. for a .

My original post was so much better but I put it on the wrong thread

Which thread sea ? wants to read it

Having reread it, they are pretty similar glad. It is on the my baby frightens me thread.

Felt happy and content tonight and the first thing I thought was, "ohhh a glass of prosecco would be lovely". It seems the desire to drink has infiltrated all my moods and emotions.

Sending love and positive thoughts to everyone having a hard time.

Sea looked ok post to me :) Sorry about the content, though :(

Glad you're holding up Sea

Ugh sneaky isn't it Hadron? You totally psych yourself up against booze when feeling down/stressed/angry and often forget all the positive, happy moments when it pings into your head unannounced. I think really it showed me at the start I would use anything as an excuse for a drink.

Hi all.

Hope everyone is okay. .

I'd like to join please!
Have done almost a week and feel so much better already.
Things were getting out of hand, and it was making my meno symptoms so much worse. Have decided total abstinence is the way to go.
Done it before ( five years!) so can do it again...

Hi everyone.

I drank last night. Feel so down about it today, and cried last night when I went to bed. I feel so trapped. We are never going to break free of this. We are both too deep in the trap.

I have to go out now to drive my uncle somewhere but I just want to curl up. I am fine physically, just really down. I need to get a grip.

BamBam. I think you should give AA a try. With an alcoholic DP, I think you would really benefit from real life support. I hate to say this and I really hope I don't offend or upset you. Have you considered a separation from DP, while you work on your sobriety.

Welcome Words.

Has anyone got any tips on how to enjoy evenings without wine?!

I'm only on day 3. I associate wine with kids in bed, in front of tv. So Monday and Tuesdsy night I went to bed at 8pm and read a book to avoid the tv trigger. This worked but I found that last night I felt a bit miserable- like I was going to bed early as I was ill.
DH is out tonight so I can't go anywhere and I'm not sure what to do to keep myself entertained and off the booze! (So sad that wine seems so interesting)

Some great comments upthread that really resonated with me. The idea that there is no third door (drinker/non drinker bring the only two). And also the idea that the voice saying "how can I have fun without drinking" in the voice of addiction. I was saying to DH only lady night "how can I enjoy my bday next month without a drink??"