MOST AFFAIRS ARE WOMENS OWN FAULT!? WOULD YOU AGREE?

[kittylette]

I think that most men have affairs because something is missing at home,

if a womans a great cook in the kitchen, a shoulder to cry on, a whore in the bedroom, then there shouldnt be too much of a problem!

i really do think this is the case, and will probably get slated for thinking so,

but this morning on 'loose women' they were all laughing about how they all faked headaches and say they're too tired to avoid sex, and how they only do it once a month and think of england!!
well no wonder men go looking for sex if its being denied it at home??

i always try my best to look good for my DP, and cook nice meals, and we have sex most nights (and i have 2 babies under 2)

just a thought!

kitty

Naughty HM (she's tired and sneaking through the threads being antagonistic)!

Congratulations kittylette, you have lots of sex and your boyfriend buys you presents. Long may it last. If that is what you need from your relationship and that's what you get then indeed you are very lucky. Don't presume it gives you any insight into the multitudinous reasons why any human being strays. And I suggest you think very carefully about what you are saying about people like maturer who have experienced the pain and complications of infidelity first hand only to be told by you that it's their "fault" for not offering DH a bj and a strip tease on a more regular basis. How very wrong you are.

I suspect you cannot be entirely serious and you're just looking for a debate of a Friday night, but watch who you hurt with your casual assumptions.

sorry hunkermunker, i know thats not true

he doesnt go for fat old women,

women don't generally withhold sex for months or years on a whim though..there is usually a "proper" reason for long term lack of sex...

i have been slated on previous threads for being stuck in the 1950's too, thats just the way we live our lives, i do agree that sex keeps things alive in a relationship if you both have high libido's but i dont think its a valid excuse for a man to wander, i think something else in the relationship is suffering for that to happen and its not just bedroom antics

oh and my dh is my soul mate also and best friend

Over years and years in a sexless marriage isn't quite what you said in your OP though.

And even in that situation, if he wasn't happy with it then I would expect him to end the relationship before he went off to find someone else.

Either that or talk until we found a solution - because IMO talking is a hell of a lot more important to a relationship than sex. It's how you find out what's going wrong before it goes wrong. It's how you maintain the intimacy that sometimes goes out of the window when you are tired, depressed, ill or have children - all of which can kill your libido dead.

Well I guess the ones where the woman is the one having the affair are..the others are all the man's fault, surely?

TBH i love being a 1950s wife,

i cook, i clean, i play with the babies, and keep my man happy in the bedroom,

ill enjoy it whilst i can, when ds2 starts in school i will go to uni to get a degree,

so ill do as i please ubtil i have to go back to uni & eventully work,

why not?? its fun

I cook, clean, take care of the money, look after my child, work full time, studying at college to become an accountant AND I keep my husband happy in bed and out.

I dont class myself as a 1950's wife. If I found out my DH was having sex with somebody else, there is no way in hell I'd sit there and say "oh, well, that was because I want performing my wifely duties".

It would be more along the lines of "get the hell out my house, you have no respect for me, our child or yourself".

I'm glad you're happy in your relationship. I pray that none of your friends ever find out their husbands have an affair, because I cannot imagine you'd be sympathetic.

me too kitty

KL, please explain how you were 21 several days ago and now you are 33!!!

And also didn't you get chucked out of BMC because of similar threads!!!!

your getting me all wrong

of course i would care,

oh forget it sigh

i said i was 33 to see your reaction,i knew you were expecting me to be young im 22 now btw, was my birthday nov 3rd

whats BMC??

ive NEVER been kicked out of a thread

im only making a discussion, whats wrong with that??

and if you look in the thread i say im 22 and i wanted you to not judge me because of my age

Your post of 8:23 reminded me of this book

Have you read it?

i see your point kitty

but

what you didn't take into account..and i'm sure it was not malicious..

there have been several threads recently regarding severely dysfunctional relationships...taking such a light hearted view of marriage and affairs can come across to glib and too smug

not that i think that was your intention...but this is personal territory for women whose lives and their childrens lives have been torn apart by their husbands not getting their 'rights' at home.....and looking elsewhere

for that, there is no excuse IMHO....

but like i say. i don't think you were being nasty.....

am I the only person who opened this somewhat mystified - because I thought of "affairs" as something people of both sexes do - not just men. therefore I just didn;t get the title - I was going to say that affairs involve two people and it's both of their faults. never occured to me that affairs were the exlusive territory of men (hmmm, how would that work anyway?) and that the women who are to blame are the ones, erm, not actually having the affair

kittylette, one day, when you're grown up, you'll see that this reliance on keeping a man happy by opening your gob, flaps or cheeks to him is pretty pathetic.

My sex drive was a lot higher just 4 short years ago.

no, i havent read the book,

and i am SOOOOO sorry, i HONESTLY didnt think

ive never posted on relationships before, that programme this morning just got me thinking and i thought id post a debate, i scanned the board headings and relationships seemed the right place

i HONESTLY didnt think about it until you just pointed out that women here may be having problems similar to what i described!

i am sooo sorry,

i only just realised

You should

i dont think she should be patronised because of her age i am 25 but i am very grown up and have prob had more than some of you 40+ year olds to deal with i hate it on mn when age becomes an issue

HUNKERMUNKER,

i am grown up thanks,

and i keep my man happy by being there for him, by bringing up his children well, by listening to him, and him to me,

there is more to any relationship worth keeping than sex,

and i dont just keep him happy by opening my mouth, but it does put a smile on both our faces, and keeps our relationship fun & fresh,

conversation & hugs are JUST as important

I'd have said the same thing if she'd said she was 100, Buktus. She's Not Very Mature in her outlook, is all.

oh go on becky .. whats the book about??
i can see your dying to say!