confused over work

[FishingRod]

Hi, Im getting really confused feelings about a woman at work and do not know what to do. I am a married man, with children, I do not see much of my wife due to work commitments and her working shifts. Lately a new woman joined our company and I have taken a real liking to her, she is pretty, we connect so easy, she makes me laugh and is completely on my level, her sense of humour, her personality, I just find her so easy to get on with and have never come across a woman like this ever. Sometimes we can chat in the office for ages and we can get really really close when we are looking at something say on her screen, she flirts alot and i flirt back and can talk sometimes flirting dropping sexual references. I just feel so much chemistry, like I have never felt before. and I believe she does too. Sometimes we touch accidentally and that electric feeling runs through me, and i believe she feels it. But she mentions her boyfriend quite regularly which I just ignore, but that really confuses me because of the relationship we seem to have developed. I also think if anything did happen she would blame me because of the frequency she mentions her boyfriend. I think she knows she cannot cross the line and she knows I am married and that makes it difficult for me because I dont want to rock the relationship with my wife, so I have to resist crossing the line. Maybe she mentions her boyfriend because she knows I like her. I would love to tell the woman at work how i feel, but would that ruin the working relationship, we have to work close together? we do have deep conversations and sometimes I get really sexual thoughts towards her. I would love to find out what she thinks without asking her, so we can be open more if she feels the same. One of my friends said i will have a fling and then i will know where my feelings are but that is high risk. So confused as i feel i pay so much more attention to the woman at work. Should I offer to take her out for a drink and see how we feel? so its outside of work.
Regards and please reply with thoughts.
C1

Wonderful.

Oh and 46% of men have not cheated in the office. The survey was conducted by a site that is a cheater's meet up site. 46% of their respondents (ie cheaters!) had cheated in the office.
Dont try to make it sound like 46% of all men.

Fair advice, but more difficult than you think, when she comes very close to me.

I thought Mumsnet would be all females, who could give me advice

And now that I'm finally reading the rest of the thread, I see you've said it again :
I am only seeking advice because of this, I thought this site would give advice.

Why why why? Why Mumsnet?

Did I say,
"Stereotypical, male, middle-aged manly man, who doesn't listen to the good ladies and gents on Mumsnet?
Coz I really meant,
W@nker!

Rod's bulge is irresistible. I can't take my eyes off it and I've been married to him for erm...quite a few years...

You say you are faithful so deserve respect, but are you really? Physically, yes. Mentally, no. Mentally you are invested in someone other than your wife and that really isn't fair on her.

You want advice, so here's my view. Tell your wife you have this 'great connection' with someone else. That's the only fair thing to do. That way she gets to decide her own future, which is her right.

Affairs damage a lot more than the betrayed partner's emotions. They split up families, friendships, hurt children, and the fall out lasts for years. Don't go there. It isn't worth it.

Rod me little flower don't be a cheating wankstain. It doesn't matter who flirts with who,you are the married one. Don't even try the whole "not my fault" pathetic whining because your brain is in your head not your dick.
Do the right thing and leave your poor wife first so she can at least have a chance to be happy either on her own or with someone else.

at this moment in time i am a faithful man, so deserve respect - no you really don't. Because you are seriously contemplating cheating on your wife with this young woman. So at this moment in time, you are actually being a bit of a knob.

You came on here looking for advice. You've had advice. In spades. You are choosing to ignore it because it doesn't suit your arguement. You were probably looking for permission to cheat. I suggest you chat this all through with your wife. If she gives you permission to cheat, all well and good. I suspect though, that she will be horrified, and seeing her distress and anger may well give you the wake up call you so desperately need.

Rod, those taking the Mickey are the only reason anyone is reading your Ode to sexual harassment. Just don't go there! It wont end well, more likely in a tribunal and a divorce court.

Lois, last night I was trying to keep my chuckling under control so as not to wake the kids. Today I have even had to temper my silent sniggering as dh is home. Thank goodness for pocket sprung mattresses. Priceless!

Even I've run out of humorous things to say about this. FishingRod, do you remember records (vinyl is coming back so probably you do). When a record is scratched it repeats and repeats. You're doing the same. Pretty much the same phrases throughout. You are like a cliche generator. One might almost be tempted to think you were making the whole thing up.

Bottom line is, whether you unleash the bulge and plough the almost horny sexy woman's furrow or not, you're being a dick. Stop being a dick.

I try to be a caring, sympathetic person, but this dude has just made me laugh and laugh and laugh. If he really is a manager, the people I feel sorry for are the other ones in his team who have to do twice the work to cover for the woman who's flirting her way into being paid to do nothing.

What a total nob. Yet such an unintentionally funny one.

I flirt at work. It's not sexual, but then I'm probably a fair bit older (at 40) than this "really sexy girl" in her low cut tops.

The one thing I can guarantee to you is this.

Most of the time I know it's all on a level and it's fine. However, if I get even a whiff that the other person is taking it even slightly seriously I either talk about my current bf lots (if I have one) or I talk about someone I fancy (if I'm single).

The very fact she does this is indicative of the fact she's not interested.

More than that (and i'm not really proud of this one) when I was younger I did flirt provocatively with a boss of mine. I quite liked seeing the effect I could have on an older man, but one I had not the slightest bit of interest in really. You are married. You are safe to her. That's why she flirts with you. She talks about her bf and says she wouldn't sleep around because she's telling you who she really is.

In her eyes you are her work plaything. And given the crassness of what she is saying, I would imagine she is relaying it all back to her friends and laughing about it.

That's the bottom line. She's playing with you. But she does not want to fuck you.

Also not sure this isn't a windup. Can't believe any man would actually not understand this anyway!

I largely suspect that if you did try to progress this, she would be horrified in reality.

It was clear to him that she really wanted his bulge. Who wouldn't? It was five and half inches of pure sex gristle and it hadn't seen the light of day since December. It was a monster waiting to pounce. He knew what a great lover he was - hell, he even pulled his wife's nightie down afterwards. He just needed one opportunity.

The work's annual charity spit roast was coming up in August. A whole hog and minimal salad - just the thing to get a sexy girl in the mood. He would bide his time.

Lois

In the meantime, he would get her primed with shandy and pork scratchings, just to give her a preview of things to come.

Lois, stop it! You just made me snort tea all over my laptop. If it happens again I shall charge you the damage!

Lois [grin grin grin ]

A matter of fact i can swear on she is not the only female that has been oggling my bulge in the office. So it must be common for females unless they are oblivious. Or maybe females do not want to admit it. The flirting continues but i might take one step back for now and see what happens.

FishingRod, please keep posting. I haven't laughed this much since my ex fell into the paddling pool.

But I must ask, with this many willing females enslaved by your bulge...why spend so much time here on Mumsnet with women who think you are a joke?

In fact, now I've got a request. FishingRod, you say you have a bulge that all women ogle even if they are not aware of it. If that's true, you could convert all us hysterical MNers into doe-eyed submissives enslaved to your will, if only you would do us the honour of posting a photograph of this mythical bulge.... I'm sure I'm not the only one who's just dying to see it.

Pleeeeeese can we have a cock pic?