confused over work

[FishingRod]

Hi, Im getting really confused feelings about a woman at work and do not know what to do. I am a married man, with children, I do not see much of my wife due to work commitments and her working shifts. Lately a new woman joined our company and I have taken a real liking to her, she is pretty, we connect so easy, she makes me laugh and is completely on my level, her sense of humour, her personality, I just find her so easy to get on with and have never come across a woman like this ever. Sometimes we can chat in the office for ages and we can get really really close when we are looking at something say on her screen, she flirts alot and i flirt back and can talk sometimes flirting dropping sexual references. I just feel so much chemistry, like I have never felt before. and I believe she does too. Sometimes we touch accidentally and that electric feeling runs through me, and i believe she feels it. But she mentions her boyfriend quite regularly which I just ignore, but that really confuses me because of the relationship we seem to have developed. I also think if anything did happen she would blame me because of the frequency she mentions her boyfriend. I think she knows she cannot cross the line and she knows I am married and that makes it difficult for me because I dont want to rock the relationship with my wife, so I have to resist crossing the line. Maybe she mentions her boyfriend because she knows I like her. I would love to tell the woman at work how i feel, but would that ruin the working relationship, we have to work close together? we do have deep conversations and sometimes I get really sexual thoughts towards her. I would love to find out what she thinks without asking her, so we can be open more if she feels the same. One of my friends said i will have a fling and then i will know where my feelings are but that is high risk. So confused as i feel i pay so much more attention to the woman at work. Should I offer to take her out for a drink and see how we feel? so its outside of work.
Regards and please reply with thoughts.
C1

Its a well paid job, i need it the salary. I have been at the place 6 years she has been at work just 1 month. Bloody work, if i won the lottery i wouldnt go.

You just want to shag her, that is what you want and for some reason, you want us to tell you it is ok as your wife works shifts.

I'm betting all the guys in the office are getting the same treatment as she sounds lovely.

yeah OK then, do that

and stop bothering us with your teenage shit

You've known her a month and you're ready to betray your wife? Why don't you read some of the posts from women whose husbands have had affairs and see what damage it cause and grow the fuck up.

You say that you don't want to rock the relationship that you have with your wife. Then stop contemplating cheating on her, stop flirting, stop responding to any flirting, stop chatting to this woman for ages, do not tell anyone anything except your wife that you love her and stop finding excuses for why you cannot invest this sexual, romantic and emotional energy into your marriage. Oh yeah and stop being an arsehole.

I would not push things further to have sex with her. I have the responsibility of my work. But if she gave me signals she wanted it, i may find it difficult to refuse.

She acts different round other guys. But so different with me.

I never said im ready to betray my wife. I dont want to.

I'm summarizing: You have an office crush!

Guess what? So do I. So do millions of people the world over.

All it takes is for you to make a conscious decision not to be a prick and to stop acting like a 15-year-old.

Crushes happen. Affairs are something you make happen. See the difference?

Oh okay fishingrod I will take the bait. Yes. Fantastic idea. Your friend sounds like a genius. Initiate sex with this co-worker, just to work out your feelings. It will be so helpful for you. You are obviously thinking with your dick brain. You sound like a real treasure. Your wife is so inconsiderate working nights. I mean, what the hell else are you supposed to do when this vixen is giving you all the signs. Dip your wick to find out if you still love your wife. Brilliant idea

Maybe this young woman craves attention, i dont know but she flirts heavily , she is always looking at me. she knows im married. Why is she doing it? what does she want?

You just said you may find it difficult to refuse if this OW wanted it. Simple answer, you're married, stop behaving like an arse.

You don't want to betray your wife, this is also simple, keep your dick in your pants and only getting it out for your wife.

End of issue!!

I am seriously thinking this thread is a wind up!

Are you really that slow, she is working with you for a month and you are considering meeting up with her for a drink and possible taking it further as per your "friends" advice.
Why do you think you wife might be furious if you spoke to her re how you feel about this woman.
Also, any woman talking the way your colleague is at the moment is very inappropriate, if the roles were reversed a woman could easily take a man up for sexual haressment, but I doubt this has even entered your head you are enjoying the sexual innuendo and flirting too much to notice.
Cope the fuck on!

I trust my friend, and i can see him happy with his wife. Did it work for him? Yes it did.

Does your friend's wife know that he chose her after he'd tried out another model and found she didn't come up to his expectations?

I wish this was a dream but its something i have to deal with every single day almost in my life at the moment for the past 1 month. 9 hours a day.
cant see it being sexual harassment, she's only touched my hands.

Who knows what she wants? She probably is flattered by your attention too and it feels exciting to have the older guy at work pay her attention.

If you want to take it further this is what will happen:

1. You will have some hot exciting sex for a short period. It will probably be the best sex of your life because it is forbidden, clandestine and therefore very very exciting.

1. After that one of three things will happen:

• you carry on, she gets emotionally involved and starts pressuring you to leave your wife, you start to feel depressed by the whole thing - guilty about betraying your wife, guilty about leading on your new mistress, under pressure from the mistress. Eventually it will end in a nasty messy way - probably with you dumping her. And you risk her deciding to tell your wife or causing you hassle at work.

• your wife finds out and either chucks you out or puts you through tortuous hell of guilt for a few years, until she then chucks you out.

• you get emotionally involved and in a state because you want to be with her and she isn't interested.

All in all it's a car crash waiting to happen.

Friends wife has never told his wife i believe.

What's the age difference? Are you more senior to her?

You have a crush but you are a dad....just think of your kids and be a grown up.

I never said im ready to betray my wife. I dont want to.

Yeah right. I call bullshit.

If that were really true, you wouldn't be over analysing all this with strangers on a message board.

If you don't want to betray your wife, then that's easy. Just don't. Stop flirting with this woman and stay away from her. Back off so it is just cool and professional. Invite your wife to meet you for lunch at work and collect you at the end of the day.

Grow up.

If you want to have an affair, then fine, have one. Your life. Your decision. But really don't pretend.

I think thats very true your last comments SelfLoathing. But it raises a question she would be cheating on her boyfriend/relationship as well

This has got to be a goady thread

Are you her senior perchance? I mean 'senior' not necessarily line manager. Having been there 6 years and all?

Because if so this is also a sexual harassment complaint waiting to happen the second you overstep the line.

And 'but she came on to me' never flies in such cases.

She is 10 years younger than me.

I am her manager