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Original poster

confused over work

236 replies

FishingRod · 29/06/2015 20:17

Hi, Im getting really confused feelings about a woman at work and do not know what to do. I am a married man, with children, I do not see much of my wife due to work commitments and her working shifts. Lately a new woman joined our company and I have taken a real liking to her, she is pretty, we connect so easy, she makes me laugh and is completely on my level, her sense of humour, her personality, I just find her so easy to get on with and have never come across a woman like this ever. Sometimes we can chat in the office for ages and we can get really really close when we are looking at something say on her screen, she flirts alot and i flirt back and can talk sometimes flirting dropping sexual references. I just feel so much chemistry, like I have never felt before. and I believe she does too. Sometimes we touch accidentally and that electric feeling runs through me, and i believe she feels it. But she mentions her boyfriend quite regularly which I just ignore, but that really confuses me because of the relationship we seem to have developed. I also think if anything did happen she would blame me because of the frequency she mentions her boyfriend. I think she knows she cannot cross the line and she knows I am married and that makes it difficult for me because I dont want to rock the relationship with my wife, so I have to resist crossing the line. Maybe she mentions her boyfriend because she knows I like her. I would love to tell the woman at work how i feel, but would that ruin the working relationship, we have to work close together? we do have deep conversations and sometimes I get really sexual thoughts towards her. I would love to find out what she thinks without asking her, so we can be open more if she feels the same. One of my friends said i will have a fling and then i will know where my feelings are but that is high risk. So confused as i feel i pay so much more attention to the woman at work. Should I offer to take her out for a drink and see how we feel? so its outside of work.
Regards and please reply with thoughts.
C1

OP posts:
Ouchbloodyouch · 30/06/2015 05:58

Well... I managed to tear myself away from this wind up thread last night.
Its the bit about the 'bulge' that did it. I mean really? ?? Confused
I hope OP enjoyed his fantasy

TheBlessedCheesemaker · 30/06/2015 06:06

MNHQ were wrong. This thread doesn't belong in relationships.

OP. it's clear your huge bulge cannot be denied and your subordinate is desperate for it. You are only a man, after all, driven by manly desires, and she will be unable to resist. Do please feel free to go ahead and point your wife in our direction so that she can join in on the joke that is you. And when you realise that your cocktease colleague is after an easy few grand, courteousy of you, do come tell us how irresistibly manly you feel, then.

Her MO is to wind up guys like you for the sheer fun of it and to get away with doing fuck all work. And when you do try it on with a slobbering fumbling lunge, she will tear you a new arse, make your life hell, and then do no work at all because you will be too scared to fire her. Either that or she'll go straight to your boss and get a payoff.

LoisPuddingLane · 30/06/2015 06:07

unless your male its hard to understand sexual needs

Firstly it's "you're". How you can be a manager and not be able to write properly is anyone's guess. Secondly, this is copper-bottomed bollocks. Do you think women float around in low cut tops being "almost horny" and staring at bulges and then going home to a pink and purple world of cooking and sewing?

Bulge, my arse.

This is such a wind-up. And if it's not, I pity your wife.

oabiti · 30/06/2015 06:36

Do people still wear low cut tops? Confused

OP, if this thread is for real, you & your almost-horny co-worker should be ashamed. It just all seems to cringy & could be a scene out of Faulty Towers or summit.

Your colleague is entitled to dress however she wants & you're entitled to wear your John Travolta trousers that show of your bulge bawk. But how about getting over yourself & staying dignified? Just a thought.

Original poster
FishingRod · 30/06/2015 21:44

I appreciate sensible comments on here, but not people who cannot put themselves in my shoes and make silly comments that are based on assumptions, so would appreciate only people that can help me. Thank you.

OP posts:
RagingJellyBean · 30/06/2015 21:50

What an arsehole.

Get the fuck in the bin.

RagingJellyBean · 30/06/2015 21:51

Nobody can help you, you're a beyond-help man child.

How exactly do you have a wife & a job? I'm baffled.

bedraggledmumoftwo · 30/06/2015 22:55

Rod, it doesn't take a crystal ball to see that screwing one of your direct reports will likely lead to you losing both your wife and your job. I'm not sure what it is you are looking for here.

Original poster
FishingRod · 30/06/2015 22:55

Some of that makes sense Cheesemaker, but how can you tell what she will do all those things? she leads me to believe that i trust her, but the back of my mind i have a small niggling doubt, she has a hidden agenda

OP posts:
Original poster
FishingRod · 30/06/2015 22:58

how do i deal with this pretty girl who works in close proximity and is always flirting. What shall i do tomorrow if she starts? i cant seem to stop responding when she starts. If i ignore her she will think something is up and dont know what will happen

OP posts:
Original poster
FishingRod · 30/06/2015 23:04

its human nature, women look at bulges she is not the first and will not be the last, what is going on in the head who knows. Just like men look at boobs.

OP posts:
Ouchbloodyouch · 01/07/2015 05:31

You are such a twat.Grin really. I doubt your imaginary subordinate is interested when you are the type of idiot who refers to a 'bulge'
Twice in two days late at night you have asked what to do if she flirts. I call bullshit.

antimatter · 01/07/2015 06:18

Do you want to loose your job?

If the answer is "YES!" then carry on doing what you have been doing for the last month.

If she is really in your team and you are as you say her manager you would cut this stupid banter 30 days ago and established professional relationship.

LoisPuddingLane · 01/07/2015 06:33

Do women look at bulges? Only if they are really obvious I suppose. Most of the time you can't really see anything and, unless chap has a boner, it's just a mound of flesh. It doesn't do much for me. Arms, though. Biceps. Nice hairy arms. That's different.

FishingRod, I have advice for you. I have no idea why you haven't thought of this before.

GO AND HAVE A WANK

Just do that every time you think you are tempted. And then just shut up boring us to death with your "heeeeelp she fwirted at me".

Cabrinha · 01/07/2015 06:39

Known her a month.
Never met anyone like her.
Wife's fault for working shifts.
Ten years younger.
Works for you.
Have to be a man to understand sexual needs.
BULGE!!!!!!!!

I'm howling with laughter here Grin

Please please please can you add that your wife doesn't understand you? You nearly have, but you're not quite there, and it'd be a shame to have to mark down your creative writing piece for one basic missing cliché.

And it would make me laugh so much. Ta!

LovesPeace · 01/07/2015 06:45

This thread is fun.

OP, I am sure she is hypnotised by your enormous bulge' and that you should capitalise on this by buying snug fitting leather, or brightly coloured briefs. When she appears in her low cut top, you could subtly open your flies to entrance her further.

Good luck - and let us know how you get on.

LoisPuddingLane · 01/07/2015 06:54

I'm going to look at bulges on the way to work, see if it does anything for me. I'll report back.

FrancesNiadova · 01/07/2015 08:04

Please do your wife a favour & divorce her. She's working all hours, investing her life & dreams in a man & a relationship that's a sham. You're going to hurt her terribly.
Please set het free so that she can find a decent partner who loves & values her.

HootyMcTooty · 01/07/2015 08:17

On my way to work the train was packed with bulges. I can barely control my loins right now.

LoisPuddingLane · 01/07/2015 08:22

Sad to say I forgot to look at the bulges. I'm such a failure as a woman.

knotnowdear · 01/07/2015 08:42

As her supervisor it is your responsibility to discourage her. Did you both have to take acceptable workforce behaviour courses when you joined the company? What is happening on BOTH sides is unacceptable. You are putting yourself in a risky position just encouraging her, let alone thinking about taking it further.

You are getting close to throwing everything away - your marriage and your job.

You asked what to do if she flirts with you tomorrow? Step back and discourage her. It's the right thing to do both ethically and morally.

If your marriage isn't working - and you said it was fine until a month ago - why don't you sit down with your wife and try to work things out? Why give up so quickly?

Senada · 01/07/2015 08:47

unless your male its hard to understand sexual needs

WTF? Did I wake up in the year 1878?
Off to clutch my pearls and think about how distasteful sex is.
Hmm

LoisPuddingLane · 01/07/2015 08:48

He wants someone to say, "My god, yes, you should go ahead. Have the fling! What is your wife thinking of, working nights? Why can't she look at your bulge and say she's almost horny? Why can't she be easy to talk to. Oh, she was once? Oh well, never mind. She's asleep during the day so she won't know. HAVE THE SEX. Have ALL the sex."

However, I don't think anyone is realistically going to say that.

Senada · 01/07/2015 10:15

I'm sitting in a

LoisPuddingLane · 01/07/2015 10:54

Do you think men think we ARE looking at their bulges? I look at necks, chests, arms, thighs, eyes, etc. Rarely look at the meat and veg section. Unless it's in my face.