why de he ruin everything for 5 min where he thought he was in a porn film or something its just such a waste
He didn't though, that's not what this is, as others have said, it isn't the case that he was a good guy, you were all happy and in love with a generous, upstanding, supportive, loving, kind man and then BAM he goes 'mad'. It wasn't like that at all.
Quite simply, your posts throughout have shown that this guy is a nasty piece of work through and through. Abusive, bullying, sneering, selfish, aggressive, NASTY. You could see it, sort of, but didn't want to believe it... plus he's conditioned you over time to accept poorer and poorer treatment until you just don't see most of the bad treatment any more (to the frustration of your friend). And that's how it happens, that's how women end up in abusive relationships - because they are nice generous people, they give the nasty shits the 'benefit of the doubt' and get steamrollered by the abuser until they don't know which way is up.
For example, you cite him wanting to buy a house with you as evidence that he 'does love you'... or why would he want to buy with you - err, sounds more like taking advantage of you to me! Why WOULDN'T he want to buy a house with someone he can completely bully and dominate? He gets the benefit of your financial contribution, the benefit of you no doubt getting to do all the housework/shitwork, and he's confident that when it comes to decisions re anything to do with the house, he can bully you into anything - so basically, it's HIS house that you get to help pay for.
As for him 'loving' you - well, again - that's simply the wrong way to look at it. He's an abuser. So it's different. He doesn't understand the first thing about love - that's exactly the problem. He'd stand there, tell you of course he loves you, AND BELIEVE IT HIMSELF, and then promptly treat you worse than a dog. And to him, that makes perfect sense. In his world, love is taking for granted. The one closest to you... is the one you kick first. The one who depends on you... is the one you know you can fuck over and they'll come back. That's love to an abuser. It's about using and abusing. So, does he love you? Pointless question - he means something different, something warped, when he uses that word, and has no conception of what YOU - and all normal people - mean by it.
So, all that happened the other night is that he finally did something so bad that you opened your eyes. As we've said above, of course to him it's nothing, because he is an abuser. Thankfully, it has shocked you into action.
Get as far away from him as you can. Abuser, bully, RAPIST.