Desperately Trying to Move On - My Divorce from Mr WT Part 3 - It's Nearly OVER!

[TheFormidableMrsC]

I am so grateful to all of those who have followed and supported me throughout this bloody ordeal! I hope this will be the last one.one and it will be over very soon! Thread 1 : www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2030270-PLEASE-HELP-DESPERATE-AND-AWFUL-DIVORCE?
Thread 2 : www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2137545-Whos-Desperate-and-Awful-Now-Story-of-My-Divorce-from-Mr-WT-Part-2

MrsC (or should I say MsC?), congratulations! Apologies for my silence of late, though have been lurking. I'm sure all feels a bit strange & emotional. & for you. Post if/when you feel ready.

And I second Across' post. Happy dreamchasing now that you are no longer legally tied to that dead weight.

Wishing you happiness by the bucket load. Cheers!

WWK, sounds like a good life motto; "Life is short…..no more twats'. Truly words to live by!

MrsC big hugs sweetheart. It must be very mixed emotions. Your ex is an idiot to lose you x and

Evening all, I am sorry I haven't posted, I've been waylaid with a very poorly little boy which frankly was probably a blessing in disguise as I have been unable to spend too much time thinking about this although there have been lots of private tears and sadness. I am not ashamed of that, this was not my fault, I loved my husband dearly and my son needed to have a family unit he could rely on (all have failed him spectacularly) and was not prepared for the utter life destroying agony the next two years were going to bring to the children and I when he decided to leave for OW following her blackmail and ultimatums. However, it's done and I can't change any of it and neither do I want to. He wasn't who I thought he was.

So, it appears DS is suffering from migraine, yet another defect he's inherited from his father. Been a trying few days, sleeping with me, not eating and having to miss school. His father, however, saw fit to feed him coke and sweets today. He has returned from contact and said some very upsetting things completely out of the blue that he says came from his father and OW when I asked "who said that to you"? I am now going to start taking the advice of agencies involved in this situation, all of whom have questioned the long term sensibility of continued contact.

It is a pity that there is no end to this in sight. The divorce is a huge line drawn and I am relieved it is over in that respect. However, safeguarding the wellbeing of my son and not allowing him to be subjected to emotional and financial abuse will mean that the battle continues on unfortunately.

Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for all your lovely posts, all of which brought tears to my eyes and I will update a bit further when I am a bit less stressed and under the cosh! KOKO

you are over one huge hurdle now Mrs Formidable and here's to a brighter future for you and your DCs x

You have tried to play fair MrsC regarding contact and access to your DS. Enough is enough now. That pair of idiots have no idea of the damage that they have done and continue to do during contact with DS. You have been advised about stopping contact by several agencies, it is time now to listen and act on that advice.
If the Gruesome twosome want to take you to court for access (and run up even more legal bills) bring it on. They don't have a hope in hell of winning.

Oh and congratulations 14+ stones of grease and dead weight shed now you are divorced. RESULT

Oh love, it just doesn't seem you'll ever get any rest from him, does it? I remember when BFF's final came through and I said 'now you're done with him, hooray!' and she looked me in the eye and said "I will never be done with him until the day one of us dies because there will always be our son between us". He eventually disappeared so she had about 15 years of peace before he resurfaced. He's still a complete idiot but at least he now (sort of) realizes it.

You follow the experts advice! I'm sure he thinks he's hot shit in a champagne glass but they'll (and you'll) show him he's nothing but cold diarrhea in a Dixie Cup!!

The divorce is one thing, a thing that is best for your life.

The issue re safeguarding is something way more stressful I'd imagine as it's about your son.

I've worded it badly but I can't think of a better way

Suffice to say, I wish you mush strength and determination as you'll need it. The various services aren't easy to deal with and the stakes of your sons wellbeing are high.

ENtertainment:...thank you so much :-)

Table...14 stones plus AT LEAST 5. Revolting. Will address rest in post...

Across...yes, that's it, isn't it? It will never be done. I am glad I know what Dixie cup is ;-), lots of love and thanks to you for your continual hand holding x

Joysmum, I get you, thank you .

Am a bit stressed tonight, have a projectile vomiting DS. He had two days off school last week, seemed full of beans on Saturday morning, came back from contact and was a nightmare, got to bed finally at 3 am on Sunday morning. Was tired but a little better this morning, had a small breakfast. We had a soft play party, was fine there but rejected food and cake. Came home and has projectile vomited everywhere all evening (mainly juice and water as I have tried to keep him hydrated). I have finally got him into bed but am exhausted. He is still complaining his eye and temple hurt so will be back onto GP a.m.

I had to take DD to the station mid morning for work. While we were on our way DS came out with yet another stream of wise words manipulative emotional abuse from his father. DD and I were both aghast and open mouthed. My XH clearly has no understanding of "literal wording" and "ASD" because if he did he wouldn't do it because it puts our son at risk, a huge risk. The thing is, I understand why he doesn't because he is the fucking same. I am so tired of it, I really am. The other parent needs to make a decision here. He either decides that he is going to tell OW to fuck the hell off with her insecurity because he needs to be an involved co-parent or he disappears. There are no other options. The things they are saying to my son are utterly beyond belief, he is four years old. I am aware that OW is incapable of giving a shit about my son because she doesn't give a shit about her own and that opinion is universal.

Urgh, what the hell do you do, how do you deal with a non-diagnosed autistic parent, a sociopath OW and a child that needs neither of them in his llife?

The other parent needs to make a decision here. He either decides that he is going to tell OW to fuck the hell off with her insecurity because he needs to be an involved co-parent or he disappears. There are no other options. The things they are saying to my son are utterly beyond belief, he is four years old. I am aware that OW is incapable of giving a shit about my son because she doesn't give a shit about her own and that opinion is universal.

Honestly, I vote for 'disappear'. I'm sure you're pursuing 'things' from a safeguarding perspective, but I think it's now come to the point where DS would be better off without MrWT. I know you've been holding on hoping and believing that a poor father is better than no father at all. If it was just a case of MrWT being feckless or irresponsible I might agree with you. But it's more than that, he's actively causing harm to DS, both by omission and by commission. And unfortunately right now all you can do is follow the rules. IMO, contact, if any at all, should only be under supervision, preferably with a social worker or other professional.

Throat punch the pair of nasty manipulative cunts!!!
Hope little man is better in the morning let me know if you need anything
Love ya xxxx

Coke, McDonalds, a bit of verbal abuse about his mum. And that's just what you've heard about. And the poor kid is only 4 years old.

What would it have taken for them to give him some juice or milk, cook a decent meal (or buy one if you're lazy) and keep their mouths shut? Probably not much. But they chose not to.

You'll need to think about the way they'll behave around and towards him when he's older (I'm sure you have). I'd say let the court decide whether they are fit to be around a 4 year old. They sound awful.

xx

17 years ago, 2 minutes ago, my DD was born :-) A 76 hour labour that saw us both recovering for a long time. I am very proud to say she has turned into a stunningly beautiful young woman, I am sure my RL MN friends will agree...she has overcome very many hurdles over the past two years but has come out of the other side. I am delighted to see her on the course she dreamed of, much more confident, a lovely sister to her little brother and just a pleasure to be around. We have our ups and downs as you would expect but we are a good team! I am very proud.

Not stealth boasting at all I am but looking forward to meeting new model boyfriend on Friday who is in every fashion magazine at our fingertips and has done every high profile campaign in recently modelling history. Not stealth boasting at all

MrsC you are right to be proud of your daughter - she obviously has a good role model. Happy Birthday to her and hope she enjoys her date

Lovely, indeed! Lovely, independent, feisty, and smart! A very happy birthday to TheFormidableMISSC!

(who incidentally shares a birthday with my own best friend! Another strong, feisty woman)

Happy birthday to TheFormidableMissC!

To be fair, it was a bit of a given that she would turn out to be a wonderful young lady, seeing as she has such a brilliantly strong & kind woman for a mother.

Congratulations, TheFormidableMrsC. You are obviously deservedly proud of your first-born.
I have read your threads on and off over time and my ghast is flabbered at what you have been through, and, it seems, continue to go through at the hands of your now ExH. All I can say is: and KOKO.

my ghast is flabbered

Hey MrsC - a bit late to the party but Happy 17th Birthday to your gorgeous DD and good for her getting the bf, hope he's a model in more ways than just looks :)

There are no words to describe the level of fuckwittery that your exH (Oh blissful words!) can sink to. Just none. He's beyond all words. I'm SO SO SO sorry that your poor, darling DS has to have any contact with him at all and really think that it would be far better to remove the wankstain from his life at your earliest convenience.

Love the pineapple though. Beautiful!

Happy birthday to DD :)

Ghast is flabbered...love this! Thank you Dumdedum...

Thanks everybody for lovely messages, support and everything you've done for me..you have been my lifeline. I can't express that enough and will probably never be able to.

KOKO, always

I wasn't going to post again here but felt the need for an upbeat "end". Today is two years since my husband left. I have been steeling myself for this day more recently and thinking that it would be a bloody difficult day and I would feel like shit. I didn't. How weird is that? I didn't feel anything at all. I realised today that I am content. I have a lovely life with my kids, we manage financially, not easily, but we manage. I am very busy with making my house "saleable" in order that we can start afresh. I have very many fantastic friends, a brilliant social life, a "FWB", a much better life than I had with him. I can't even believe I am saying that. I thought I might cry, I have even looked at our wedding album and the memory box I have put together for DS, but still nothing. Actual apathy. Have I reached the "mecca of meh"? I do believe I have . I have oft been told to allow a month of recovery per year of relationship and I would imagine that is absolutely right. I just don't care anymore. It is liberating.

My ex-H continues to be an absolute idiot. Despite my recovery, I still can't believe how he has treated us and I am not sure that I will ever come to terms with that I have to say. I still can't believe that he so woefully contributes to his DS. He should be utterly ashamed at his failings utter spite in that respect. He continues to attempt to make my life difficult despite us being NC for nearly 6 months. He fails with that as he has failed with every single aspect of his life. A waste of skin and oxygen. My only concern now is his impact on DS. The DS HE said "would always have the best". That makes me laugh now. DS will know the truth soon enough. Everything else will be dealt with via the legal system.

So, MrsC is OK! I wouldn't be here without every single one of you. You saved my life. Love always

Hey lovely MsF

You done good, girl

Ime the memory of the twattery fades over time. Mind, my particular twat is now, erm, on the 'other side' (shame!) so I suppose it's easier (not that I'm recommending anything, no...). It sounds like you're gradually cutting off all avenues to you and your family - no, wait, HE is cutting off all avenues by his twattish behaviour.

Two years is not long, early days in a way with this stuff. Especially as you've had unbelievable aggro throughout

KOKO precious

Mrs C is much better than OK!! She is FAHHHBUUULLOOUSSS!!!

The 'Mecca of Meh'… The 'Shangi-La of Who-gives-a-shit'…. The 'Paradise of Piss-off-tosser'…..The 'Oasis of ODFOD'. All of them welcome you with open arms. Sit, relax, have a fruity drink with a tiny umbrella. Enjoy your stay.

And she lived happy ever after which was richly deserved and always on the cards. Very proud of you X