We all have "rights" don't we? I know there are vary many variations on that and indeed that some have to be earned. I thought I had the right to expect my husband to abide by the vows he made, he had the right to expect the same of me. I thought that when I was bullied and cornered into having a baby, I had the right to expect that my husband would abide by his promises and undertakings in relation to raising DS. When he became step-father to DD, I would imagine we both had the right to expect that he would do his best to fulfil that role and not assault her, bully her and emotionally abuse her. No, none of those rights apply. HIS rights, however, are a different matter altogether!
Since "the arrest", I have had no contact with my husband. That, for me, was the straw that broke the camels back, particularly as the effects on my son was so dreadful. I had spent 18 months or more attempting to communicate with him, co-parent with him, offering the option of family therapy to help us move forward despite the poisonous influence of OW. He refused all of it. OW would "go mad" so I am informed by an acquaintance of husband. Perhaps OW should have thought about that when she started an affair with a married man with a child. Because her "rights" came above all else, it seems. My husband appears to now think that I should be communicating with him. I have been roundly bombarded with letters and texts. Indeed yesterday, I received five letters, unfortunately signed for by somebody else otherwise I would have refused it. I have taken this stance on the advice of the police and indeed Women's Aid (who are now organising me a domestic abuse keyworker given the situation).
The contents of his correspondence have been quite astonishing. I have been given "options" on future contact. As that is likely to now be dealt with by the court, I shan't go into detail, suffice to say his suggestions were so utterly ridiculous and failed, entirely, to consider DS's autism. I am kind of flummoxed that this man, who has abused us in every way possible, failed his son materially, emotionally, financially and medically, who has not attended a single course to aid our son, has not attended a single school event, has the fucking brass neck to dictate to me how contact will be handled in the future. No, I don't think so. My son deserves better than to be screwed up by a pair of abusive twats who have done him nothing but harm.
Need a tea...