Desperately Trying to Move On - My Divorce from Mr WT Part 3 - It's Nearly OVER!

[TheFormidableMrsC]

I am so grateful to all of those who have followed and supported me throughout this bloody ordeal! I hope this will be the last one.one and it will be over very soon! Thread 1 : www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2030270-PLEASE-HELP-DESPERATE-AND-AWFUL-DIVORCE?
Thread 2 : www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2137545-Whos-Desperate-and-Awful-Now-Story-of-My-Divorce-from-Mr-WT-Part-2

Last week, my neighbour and I took our 3 youngest children to a splashpark in another town. I bought DS some neoprene/rubber beach shoes as he often suffers from extreme sensitivity in his feet and felt this would be the better option for him while paddling. All was well until he tripped while running out of the water and absolutely skinned both knees really badly. He feels pain more than most because of sensory issues and to say he screamed the place down would be an understatement. Indeed, we attracted a policeman on his beat and two first aiders, who were other mums visiting the park, one of whom it turned out works locally to me, the other being a parent of an aspergic child, thus amazingly understanding and helpful. DS could not be calmed for a very long time, he had a shock reaction, was shaking and shivering and was utterly hysterical. All eyes were on us and it was just awful. Eventually, he calmed enough to be cleaned up and have plasters and tentatively went back to paddling with his friends. All good. I then had to leave the group to take my DD to confirm her place at college as the offer was conditional of her GCSE results. This took about an hour. As I parked, my friend was ringing, DS had been stung beneath the eye by a wasp you couldn't make it up. Weirdly, that didn't elicit the same hysteria as the skinned knees but his cheek and eye were very swollen. We went home and treated it and he was fine. Apologies for that essay...but....

In one of the letters from my husband, the undertone was clear, DS's "injuries" had been logged and photographed "for future reference" and indeed I was expected to "keep him informed" of any further "injuries". Goes to show how much time he spends round a four year old! I did not appreciate the suggestion that I had somehow inflicted these injuries on my son, which is what he was saying in a very subtle fashion. If I contacted him every time my son fell over, bumped his head, slipped, tripped etc, I would most definitely be accused of harassment! Yet, when I was sat in A&E a few months ago with DS and I texted husband to say where I was and what was happening, he was too drunk to even bother to respond . Indeed, I still have that text on my old phone and his response some 12 hours later which said "I'll pick him up at 10", not even asking how he was.

So, back to his "rights". I have to ensure that all them are met, apparently. No I don't according to WA. In fact, I don't have to do anything at all. Interestingly, I did make the mistake of responding to one text and quite unbelievably he texted me back saying "don't text me again". I think we're all of the view that he wishes to goad me into contact in order that he can go back to the police with yet another petty minded complaint. I have been in touch with police about this and have made an appointment with my GP to have DS checked over. He lost his chance for us to work together as parents. He was given very very many opportunities to do so. He has caused so much pain, anguish and upset to my children and indeed me, that I cannot possibly have any sort of relationship with him. He is utterly poisonous and frankly would be better off addressing his own very obvious problems before attempting to bully me into bowing down to his every demand.

Back to my rights. I think I have the right to expect to live without fear in my own home. I don't expect to have people at my door trying to find my husband because he has conned them out of a huge amount of money. I have the right to feel utterly pissed off that I have done absolutely everything for my children over the past two years without a single bit of help or support from him. I think I have the right to tell him to just fuck off.

So there we have it (mostly). KOKO everybody

I should say that I have made it very clear that I am more than willing to communicate with his via a solicitor, as advised by police and WA, because that is the only way I will be protected from any further accusations...he can't afford that apparently. Funny what he can afford though...

Just wow and for you.

I really hope he they just fall off the planet soon.

KOKO

What a shame you will be totally unable to communicate with him if he is not prepared to do it through a solicitor.

Perhaps someone needs to remind Mr WT (self-styled Master of the Universe ) that rights come with these awkward things called 'responsibilities'. I'd encourage him to look up the definition.

, , , and for you MrsC.

Shadow....all the rights, none of the responsibilities in his case...he can't see it though, let alone acknowledge it or do anything to change it! Head, bang, wall

IthoughtATM, oh it's more than a shame and will probably create huge difficulties but he has spent months and months, along with OW, trying to get me prosecuted for something/anything. I can't risk putting myself in that situation. Police and WA have both suggested non-mols against both of them for my own protection. It is just constant coercive abuse. Yet this was all totally avoidable. It is a pity he is such a weak prick and couldn't have told OW to butt out and mind her own bloody business. He has brought everything that is coming on himself.

Thanks Girl...it's so bloody draining! Can't wait to move! Thanks for ...I'll take the tea and cake too, no wine til the weekend

MrsC - it's high time you and I had a serious chat.

I must, forthwith and without undue hesitation, after a period of several months, bring forth to your attention an incident that occurred between your son and a door knob.

As you are aware, you, in an act of sheer stupidity, allowed me to rest at your home whilst I attended a matter of businessness in a city near to you.

I am certain I may have thanked you at the time but on reflection I feel the need to withdraw my gratitude having taken all of this time to ponder an incident that took place, and which I hold you totally accountable.

You may, or may not, recall that you had nipped off to the loo. Upstairs, where your loo is carelessly positioned. I consider this act one of utter selfishness now that I wish to warp events for my own entertainment.

Moreover, your son, in an act of wilful mindedness, decided to run around the room.

I was most startled by this given its splitsecondness nature.

I do feel, in the strongest possible terms, you should have warned me that four year old boys occasionally have manic rampaging moments. I am still utterly traumatised by these events.

Your son did indeed inflict upon his sudden introduction with the door knob, a bump to his head. He indeed did yelp: "Ow" and a few cross tears occurred thereafter. It was a tad painful on my eardrums.

I appreciate that you may, or may not have, cut short your wee (if indeed that is what you were doing) to attend and pacify your son. I accept you gave him a quick check over, a hug and acted in a caring mum fashion.

However, on the next occasion I visit your abode, with or without pineapple, I shall be collating evidence of the door knob for future reference.

Therefore, regrettably, I am withdrawing my gratitude for your hospitality. I insist, however, on my rights to invite myself to your abode. Please ensure that your four year old ceases and desists from running into a door knob next time I visit.

WWK.

WWK tears of laughter xxx

Astounding wankering twattishness on behalf of the King of Wankering Twattishness and his pineapple dictator.

A court is going to howl at the content of those letters.

Wouldn't it be nice if you didn't have to be careful about being goaded in to harassment contact ? You could go overboard:

1: DS had dinner tonight. He didn't finish his last two peas.
2: DS farted.
3: When playing at school, DS fell over. No visible injuries to DS, but trousers have rip.
4: DS had tantrum over trousers being ripped.
5: DS went to bed. His head hit the pillow rather hard. No sign of injuries.

Ah well. You can but dream, and be the better person the only good person.

By the way, is MrWT any good with computers?

Could he be Jeffery?

Hi MrsC.

He really doesn't get it does he ?

Document everything and KOKO.

It would almost be funny if it weren't so infuriating!

I'd say the only 'saving grace' in this whole nightmare, if you can stretch the term to infinity, is that it means they must have some type of conscience. Because I put all of this down to guilt, pure and simple. They know what they've done. And they continue to do it because to do otherwise would mean accepting their own total guilt in causing every one of the problems that you and the children have had. They have to blame you because if they didn't they'd have to blame themselves!! And because their EGOS are much bigger than their pea-sized consciences (and their same-sized brains), neither of them is psychologically able to do that. So the infinitesimal hope is that maybe someday, through some miracle, one or the other of them actually wakes up and stops the harassment. Of course, I expect to see pigs fly first!

WWK - it's ok for you to say; you are out the other side! Your own Master Of The Universe has been shown (in court!) to be no more than a meagre chalk outline...

Soon, MrsC, soon. Chalk outline of MrWT holding a rotten, old pineapple.

Now there's an image...

MrsC I didn't think he could get more stupid and spiteful. He doesn't seem to grasp he's making it harder for himself by continuing to be a fucking knob.

He could have co-parented and been more involved in his son's life - the child he so wanted. If he carries on like this your DS is not even going to want a relationship with him when he gets older.

KOKO. for the weekend.

It is true, ptumbi I am, and a much wiser and compassionate person for having the experience (and your helped support me to get through it - thank you). I envy no-one still in divorce hell.

Despite my best efforts at drowning meself in wine, gin and a number of other cocktails, I failed.

I do want to assure everyone that MrsC was a complete rock to me when I had the really tough days (and continues to be an amazing woman when I have a few 'woe is me' moments). If I can make her laugh during this shit, I aim to do so. But rest assured, we frequently chat on the phone and offer each other sincere support but I keep the serious chats off this thread. I'm sure you understand.

Her son really did run into a door knob though whilst she took a quick pee. Just sayin'.

WWK - you are indeed wise and compassionate (and vv funny). I was not having a dig in any way, you are a huge support to MrsC I'm sure.

MrsC, I really hope you get a resolution soon...

Mrs C would he be charged for correspondence his solicitor received? Because if, as per his request, if you sent a detailed daily report to his solicitor he might suddenly find it more cost effective to communicate with you properly through them...

I just... words fail me. They're beyond belief

Evening all, thank you for lovely posts as ever

acat...funny you should say that about "Jeffrey", WWK and I had this very conversation because on the hijacked Twitter page Jeffrey uses, he has mentioned Mr WT's actual name (although not sure that is a secret, he did indeed introduce himself as such with his first post on here). We decided he didn't have the wherewithal. I don't think he's Jeffrey. It would interrupt with his nap, drinking and watching TV time far too much. How I would love to send a journal of DS's daily activities. Just farting and burping would take at least 3,000 e-mails .

Darnley, thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your amazing advice, I will keep in touch via PM for obvious reasons, but am doing just as you say. No, he doesn't get it and never will. Wish he would though .

Across, you have the kindest heart...I wish that were true. I think H might have the odd pang but OW? Not a hope. She is only concerned with how things impact her. She doesn't even give a shit about her own child because if she did, my husband wouldn't be living with him but that is her problem, not mine.

Ptumbi...that did make me laugh and indeed WWK has done herself proud in terms of her ex-twat. I know it doesn't feel like it for her a large part of the time, but she has and I am very proud, as you are

DoorToTheRiver you're so right, he could have done a lot of things very differently and I would have been more than happy to have at least tried to get on an even keel with it all. He wouldn't though. So now, he can fuck off. He's proved himself for what he is and will pay the price.

WWK not entirely sure what I would do without you. You know I love you loads, however, I think your babysitting skills are shit as you failed to prevent the doorknob assaulting my son. I'm keeping records y'know... [will never serve you Quorn again]

Jengnr...hello! I am not sure if you're a lurker or a post-Hackergate name changer but I don't recognise you so thank you for stopping by . Unfortunately, he has sacked his solicitor for about the 10th time. She is lovely, she really is. I can't understand why she has allowed herself to be re-instructed by him over and over again. She knows what he's like, she wasn't particularly complimentary to the solicitor I had in the early days (ie : glad to see the back of him, nightmare client, always moving the goalposts). He lied to her from the outset, he wrote utter shit in the initial divorce papers served on me (and she didn't check and was a bit shocked when I rang her), he didn't tell her he'd had an affair and was living with OW, all things that changed the situation entirely. I've lost count of solicitors now, there have been so many. Perhaps if he spent less on alcohol, food, entertainment and paying for somebody's else's bloody kid rather than his own, we'd be able to resolve some things via a few letters. His call, but I won't have direct contact with him, ever.

Scrambled...indeed...painfully frustrating!

Anyway, kids and I are off for the weekend to visit friends we haven't seen since DS was a baby. I am a bit apprehensive as it's a place he's not stayed before and know that I am probably not in for a peaceful weekend, however, a change of view will be very welcome. DS doesn't do well away from home although he is OK-ish at my cousin's house as long as either me or DD are sleeping with him. Will just have to see and if it gets too much, we'll come home. The friends we are staying with are so disappointed with H, although they were the first to say, after he left and affair was discovered, that they always knew something was very wrong with him but didn't want to say as I clearly adored him. I wish they had. Might have saved deluded me from myself

Yesterday we went to the Natural History Museum. DS did very well with that, aside from the odd break to line up cars from his backpack. We left when it was obvious that the smallish meltdowns might increase. I went with a friend who is so lovely and patient with him and without her, we might not have been able to do that trip. Prob won't do it again though

I should also say that I am so bloody proud of DD's GCSE results which I hadn't mentioned before. They exceeded all expectations given she had a breakdown and missed 3 months of school. She is also about to start working in London, a job that will see her through for Saturdays and holidays. I am sat here listening to her resetting the shower. Her wanker stepfather put the shower on a timer so she couldn't stay in there for very long. She's got bum length hair that takes a lot of time to wash yet he used to bang on the door and shout at her for being in there for more than 10 minutes. WHY did I not see his abuse? It's a bloody shower and if she wants to be in there for half an hour, she can. I am so glad for the peace in our house now. I really fear for OW's son in the future, because I know what's coming for him. OW is an utterly deluded twat.

Finally...I really must post up the "options" letter in terms of future contact...would be glad of opinions. Will do that early next week.

Hope everybody has a lovely bank holiday weekend, I am off to do 11 pm ironing and packing...KOKO x

Across, you have the kindest heart…

Ssshhhhh! You're going to ruin my MN Viper street cred and that will never do!!!

Have a lovely trip, all of you. Upwards and onwards!

Across, you're the bitch from hell. But I luvs you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Oh, you are too kind! Mwwahh!!

Sooooooooo. ..how do you get the timer off the shower?! What a twat he is....

. In my defence, y'honour, I was not 'baby-sitting', I was watching a four year old boy. I watched as he ran into the door at full speed too. Technically, I fulfilled my responsibilities. Next time, I am left in charge of a small child, I will remove all door knobs from doors.

That may make your loo trips a little more surprising!