The Oddest Thing Just Happened - My Husband Just Strangled Me

[Quootiepie]

We started to bicker over the smallest things (it started with me not washing something of DSs) and transfered onto my lack of doing the housework, which led me on to saying he wasnt perfect. He said "how" so I brought up abit about him telling his dad something personal about me, and he said dont talk about his dad (because he died a little while ago) and I said "whats the worst your going to do? Punch the wall again?" and he came over and put his hands round my neck and lifted me right off the chair...

I tried to call the police, but he kept grabbing the phone off me, but then he called them himself. They have just left. I dont really know what to think... or do to be honest...

oh god, yes, sorry swifter i'd meant to write something to you as well, you poor thing... how are you feeling now?

everything going good here... thank you all so much for your support. Dh and I are going great... he went through a phase (when he came home) or trying to blame me, make excuses... I could tell he was deeply deeply ashamed of what he did, and its hard for him to accept what he did aswell. Dont worry, im letting him take 99.99% responsability ( I do know I did provoce him a little) , well, more than 99.99%... We've done our lists on eachother, we both have areas we need to improve. He is going to GP in next few days, and has sorted anger management. I know when your outside, looking in, it seems so so awful... and unforgivable, but I do know DH and im not being taken in, or being used... he needs help, whether I made him leave or not really. Its given our relationship a jolt, and eachother a wake up call I guess... he needed help, and neither of us did anything about it. Now we are. Thanks again everyone, you've been so so wonderful. xxxxxx

Good to hear

Glad iyt's going OK Quootie. But aboutt he responsibility thing.... you shuld be able to (but not do I hasten to add!) scream anything that comes into your mind right into his face for a prolonged amount of time and still not be hit.

you really should, you know. NO ALLA VIOLENZA, full stop. Zero Tolerance and all that.
(god, when i think of some of the things i've shouted at DH...)

Take care QP - see you Sat!

i'm glad that you feel things are on the way to being resolved. but please, please make sure that that he does seek counselling and not 'forget' about it in the coming days/weeks.
i also think that you need some help yourself in confidence and assertive building so that if you ever do (and i hope you don't) find yourself in a similar situation in the future that you realise that you can cope on your own with DS. good luck x x

Grannyboots - i know I can cope fine with DS (DH sometimes leaves for work at 4am and returns 11pm a few days in a row) so im used to do everything, its just the fact... i dunno- maybe knowing hes just at his mums having a good time? Anyway, things are still going well... just got out of bed 15 mins ago (DH just brought DS in and out to me) I wont let him forget what he did at all... or avoid help xx

so anyway, quootie, when are you starting your driving lessons? get that licence sorted, woman.

I can drive... I 100% want my licence by the time im 21 - May.

By the way, got a letter today from the police. Public Protection Unit. Its says social services may contact And health visitor. Ive only just had the HV out a month ago due to my panic/anxiety (not PND) They will have a field day

sweetheart... i mean this in the kindest and least patronising way possible... you are only 20 and you are the mother of a beautiful boy. you are also having some difficulties within your relationship. you are feeling a bit lonely cos your friends are off doing different things and that can lead to feeling isolated. i am nearly twice your age, but i'd forgive myself if i was feeling panicky under the circumstances. (excluding the violence issue temporarily, you still have a lot on your plate for someone so young.)

i am more than certain that you can cope with it, though, and if you need the support of your HV then that is what she's paid for.

the involvement of the social services etc might not be a bad thing, remember, they are there to help you. show them you and dh's list, tell them how constructive you are both being and ask them if they can help you to access anger management and bereavement counselling services. stop being so hard on yourself...

DH is off to the GP today to get hiself sorted. What do SS do?

don't know really. i have friends who are social workers, they're certainly not the childsnatchers of popular (fevered) imagination. why don't you start a thread about it, i think there are a few social workers here?

It is routine now for ss to be informed when any domestic incident is reported, my sw told me about that. TBH I think ss in this area are more trouble than they are worth I really do. I would contact woman's aid, they are far more helpful. I doubt they will contact you in any case, it will jsut be held on record in case of any future problems.

We got reported to SS after a loud (but not violent in any way) row caused the neighbour to all the police

Just got a letter saying they ahd been told, is all. Bit upsetting but then as the row was causeed by us being shattered through lack of support from SS with ds1's SN.......

Quite.

The letter stated that if they get a repeat report they will have to investigate.

I just googled this as this happened to me yesterday. We have a 9 month old baby. We were best friends before our planned baby, now it feels like our relationship is over.

@Camdenbelle, are you safe? Is he still with you? Have you told anyone in real life? Can you stay somewhere else if he won't leave?
This behaviour is never OK and it's not something a best friend would do (or any normal complete stranger).
Please stay safe, he has shown you what he can do, don't give him a chance to do it again.
(You may get more attention here on MN if you post a separate thread)

2006 was the last post before yours ...best start a new thread ? Hope you ok .

Flipping heck - the 'advice'dished out on this thread is appalling!

OP - He strangled me
Posters - it's not so bad, worse happens
OP - he's sorry
Posters - it need not be the end of your marriage
OP - I provoked him
Posters - he needs counselling
OP - could it affect his future prospects if I press charges
Posters - oh yes, it will, best not do that then.

OP - Oh I don't like to be alone... SS are involved...

Unbe-fucking-lievable. She could have been killed. Instantly. Pressure on the throat is a silent killer. And posters are advising her to get over it?

CamdenBelle - start your own thread, and get the Police involved.

@ciderhouserules - post is 12 years old.

Seahorse - yeah, I know. And I'm glad that most advice these days is a lot better than it was then!

I hope the OP left the bastard, and that she and her DS (who must be 12 now) had a happy, single life together. And I hope the bastard DH got a caution and a record for what he did.

Completely agree @ciderhouserules I felt like I was reading netmums.

Camdenbelle - I agree with cider: start your own thread. You'll get a lot of good help.

And I also can't believe the inanity of the advice here. Were things that different 12 years ago? Absolutely incomprehensible that posters were encouraging the OP to stay together.

SMH