Husband and friend

[spottybottycream]

We are currently helping a friend of mine out of an abusive relationship.
She is now living on her own with her two children, but has started texting and calling my DH for every little thing. Draw broken, call DH. Text from abusive ex, call DH in tears.
To be honest I feel she should be calling me. DH just fixes drawer or makes consoling noises and is being supportive because I initially asked him to be but he is getting annoyed with it all now. I don't know how to back off without looking like I'm abandoning her after all the help we gave to get her set up on her own.

I think you both need to step right back from this (not RTFT).

Wonderful how you have helped her but now is her time to become independent.

Yep. Read a bit more now

Sorry you're going through this. She sounds deranged.

It's good to help people going through a hard time but very important to keep your boundaries... I'm still learning that one

I'm so sorry this has happened to you and your DH Spotty, stay strong!

Thank heavens you saved all the communications, have you heard back from the police.

Oh my, you poor things. So glad you kept all the communication. Definitely show the police this thread!

Awful situation op :( hopefully once the police get back to you and her it will settle down.

This is why it takes me ages to develop female friendships. I have a really close circle of female friends I've known for a decade plus. Outside of that I take a long time to trust other women. Too many bad experiences.

I once started a friendship with someone I met at work. Basically felt sorry for her, she'd never found 'the one' cried about it quite a lot. She got quite intense quite quickly looking back. My husband met her once and didn't like her at all but I ignored his view and just felt sorry for her. Anyway she was put in a position of authority at work and basically set out to destroy not only my career but also those of her best friends. All whilst smiling and carrying on like nothing was happening. It wasn't until afterwards we found out the full extent of what she was up to. Anyway I found out quite early and called her out on her behaviour. She ran off crying and then stepped her campaign up a gear! For four years afterwards she looked for opportunities to get her own back on me, tbh it was scary how obsessive she was. I subsequently found out this was one of the reasons that she couldn't sustain a relationship with a bloke and had a reputation for it. Sad to say she got on in her career but underneath is a deeply unhappy and damaged person. I learnt a big lesson and only now I've changed jobs am I truly rid of her. She still gets people to check up on me on social media though

They are out there, the trick I think is spotting the red flags early on.

Wow spotty, what a truly awful situation. I hope the police are able to see through what's happened. I don't know how the process works but I would get a solicitor and find out about restraining orders/non molestation orders etc when its all sorted to keep this woman at arms length from you and your family.

Wow, she sounds truly unhinged. I was going to suggest that you and your DH met her in person to set her straight and set some boundaries but after your last update I think the best policy is staying well away and doing nothing further to provoke more odd behaviour from her.

She is doing it to get you back for spoiling her little game.

I saw this when you first posted it and just bloody knew she wouldn't let it lie.

Caught up with this threat the other day.

OP make sure you collate as much evidence as you can. Also, if anything happens in the meantime be sure to keep a diary of events to document dates and times and what happened. You can present this to the police if and when you need to.

Wow - just catching up on this myself.
OP I hope all is OK.
She is not a nice person.
Your poor DH just trying to be nice to someone.

How r things, OP?

What an awful situation. I hope the police can see through the nonsense.

She must be deeply disturbed to make false allegations like this. for you op xxxx

Oh bloody hell OP, she's a bona fide fruitloop.

Any updates, Op?

Just read this thread for the first time - how completely horrific for you both. Has there been any development since?

Hope you are OK OP.

Jeez, Spotty, what a vindictive bitch she is!
Hope the police realise it's just malicious trouble making and bring it back on her instead. (((hugs)))

Any updates OP?

Zombie thread