Just moved in - last two mornings crying

[feelingfretful]

I moved in with my DP four days ago. We are expecting our first baby in 9 weeks time. He has always been a twitchy sleeper so sleeping together was never great, however thought just have to get on with it with baby on the way.

Night before last we were both awake a lot in the night, tossing and turning, and seemed every time I dropped off he moved and I woke up again. He was moody the next morning and I started crying so he comforted me and all was okay. I explained I am really uncomfortable being 31 weeks pregnant and feel like the size of a house, and I can't help moving around. Last night we went to bed and I lay there awake as he dropped off and literally every 5 seconds (I counted) he shuffled/wriggled - he was asleep whilst doing this. After 10 minutes it was still going on so I let out a big huff. He woke up, got cross and moved to the other room despite me telling him not to.

This morning I came downstairs and again am greeted with a face like thunder. He then starts having a go at me for kicking him out his own bed (which I didn't) and says he is going to move into the spare room with his bed and I can have my bed in his room. He started going on 'you have been here 4 days and kicked me out my room and my bed... I can't sleep... I have to go to work... you can sleep in the day etc'. I told him to stop being nasty to me and he said I was the nasty one for making a noise at him for moving. He left for work with me sitting there with tears streaming down my face. Yes I know I am hormonal and pregnant but I just want to leave.

[Message from MNHQ: Please note this thread was started in 2015 but the OP has come back to update it all these years later - see her update of 25 June 2023]

Yes, do check out expectant mums' groups. Your midwife might know of some. In fact, try phoning your local NCT teacher to find out whether the classes really do focus on partners that much.

Agree with calling nct back and explaining your circumstances. There may be another group where they meet during the day without partners or a Bumps and Babes group. Or do you have a friend who would go along with you.

Will you be going to NHS antenatal classes, OP? I remember the women at mine brought a mixture of friends and mums, it wasn't just couples. Also the antenatal breastfeeding advice session was only women, rather than couples.

Well done on sticking to your guns and not going back to him, OP. have you had time to think about whether you're going to have someone with you for the birth? If you know you're having a section then might a good chum be able to book the day off work to be with you?

Maybe something like aquanatal or pregnancy yoga might appeal ?

How are you doing, feelingfretful? Has the baby arrived yet? I hope you are managing OK in your new place.

I was tidying up my mumsnet stuff and found this, my thread from 8 years ago. I just sat and read it in tears. If any of the posters that supported me are still around, a MASSIVE THANK YOU!!! He really was the most vile abusive cunt ever. It never stopped and I still receive all sorts of disgusting behaviour from him through his contact with our child but I've actually just started therapy from all the emotional damage he's caused, and continues to inflict on me at times. So it was really helpful to look back at this. Hideous hateful man. Anyway, our child is simply amazing and wonderful, and we live in our happy little home together :)

@feelingfretful glad you made the right choice to leave all them years ago. Has he at least been a decent father to your child?

This is an amazing update. How was your recovery from the c section all those years ago? Does your child have your name? Is it nice being a mum? Your child must be very grown up now! :)

Hi @feelingfretful and thanks for the update. I’m glad you got away from him and that you and your child are well and happy together.

Glad to hear you are doing so well.

I would move out op before the baby comes. If he's like this now it's only going to get worse which will make your life with a newborn harder not easier.

She did - eight years ago.

I’d swiftly move back out….and stay out!

Me and my partner have to use earplugs otherwise none of us sleep.

I use these from amazon. They are not too big in my ears as they are lady earplugs and keep the noise out.

Mack's Dream Girl Ear Plugs (3 Pair) - Pink https://amzn.eu/d/bS73mod

We also got a king size bed due to needing space from each other.

My partner kicks and moves when he's boiling hot which makes it worse. Separate blankets are also an option so he doesn't disturb you pulling the blanket.

Read the thread! She left 8 years ago. Good on her too.