Affair - not sure how to cope part 2

[OpheliaRose]

In my previous thread I found out my husband was having an affair with a girl from work and has decided to leave me for her.

My previous thread is here for anyone who would like to se ether full details Old Thread

The new series of geordie shore is really funny and addictive atm, it's on tonight so watch it then catch up with episode 1&2 if you can't sleep

Just read both your threads...
Delurking to say I admire your strength and dignity throughout it all!

There are many more worldly and wiser posters on here with the appropriate advice...but I just wanted to hand you some and . Also can I suggest some more trash tv in the form of real housewives of Atlanta.. I'm hooked.

I hope you and your twins continue to prosper and succeed in every single way. As for the WF and him...no words except karma!!

The more of a twat cupboardknob is making of himself, the more dignified and stronger you are becoming. Full of admiration for you.

Lisa Eldridge make up videos, Made in Chelsea and David Attenborough got me through a hideous break up.

Oh, and when I broke up with an ex, I re-routed all his emails into a folder called Pile of Shite. So I didn't have any unexpected surprises and was in control of what I saw and when.

TurnipCake
Lisa Eldridge make up videos, Made in Chelsea and David Attenborough got me through a hideous break up.

In the same sentence?!! David Attenborough and pfffftttt? Very eclectic, turnipcake!! grinnypig

Folder "pile of shite" = good
Folder "attenborough and made in chelsea" = odd nypig

Delurking to say I think he's a total knob. A diseased, rancid, fetid knob.

You are lovely.

Do you know what - it comes across that he thinks he's being noble. *He doesn't want people to know about the affair, he couldn't help it, because they all, the poor ickle men with their weepy dicks, just couldn't help it'^ and the not telling his parents, etc.

What a car crash of a man.

Well, fuck that. You will rise above the ashes of this situation. He'll be there, watching the scales drop from WF's eyes. She will soon need another man to feed her ego, the sucky princess

I'm so glad you blocked the git on fb. A friend did it to me weird cow and it fucked with my head. It's very effective.

Remember: actions speak louder than words.

I really hope you're not the person that just posted on their ex's fb. Almost identical to your situation came up on my wall stay strong.

Ophelie, I am very proud of you - what a huge step you taken by cutting fb. As GERTI said, it really was time.

I'd be sorely tempted to ask your DBro or DDad (whoever is doing handover of DT's) to not disclose anything about the way you're feeling. You don't want this twat of a man to have any information about you. Nothing. Your silence is really getting to him - good. Let him squirm and suffer. I have visions of your family looking at him with a steady gaze - a gaze that says "you dirty, shameless disappointment". And silence. No talking to him about you, your devastation, your heartbreak. Nothing.

His day of reckoning will come and your silence is going to ensure that it hits him with full force.

Yes, you are hurting right now, BUT....

You are one amazing lady. We are ALL behind you.

Huge well done for not engaging. In my personal opinion, you've had some great advice:

1. Yes to the suggestion of totally non-emotional response (you can have kids at x time, have them back by x time).

1. Yes to getting someone else to do the handover (do NOT see or speak to this arsehole in person).

1. Yes to getting a cheap as chips payg mobile that you only switch on and briefly check once a day MAX (unless your DCs are with him). Check the phone at an hour of the day when you have time to call your mate/mum/brother whoever afterwards if needs be - he has now shown what he is capable of writing in a text when you don't do as he demands. Do NOT check this phone late at night when you're on your own and too late to get someone over/on the phone to talk to.

Do not give him any more information than you need to. Ever.

Ophelia, you're likely feeling bad about the fb thing. Don't. You will be frustrated that you don't know what's happening and what he's posting on there, but you really don't need to know. Honest.

Time. Just... time. Bide it, and absolutely KNOW that you are graced with decorum and can hold your head up high. Be bloody sanctimonious if you wish, because you can and you deserve it. There is NOTHING that you can have done to justify his behaviour (bar having an affair yourself!) so please don't feel bad or guilty that if you'd done something different then it would have had a different outcome. It wouldn't, and he's a shit bag however it's dressed. He will have justified his behaviour in his mind, regardless of whether you were perfect, very perfect, a little unperfect, needs working on perfection or just a very lovely person (that last one is you, by the way!). Oh, and that pit-of-ecstasy won't last, by the way. Expect a knock on your door when you don't expect it. Hmmmm...

It's not you. It's him. (Now normally it's the opposite but in this case, it REALLY ISN'T YOU!). Sleep tight.

Morning Phee, hope the twins slept through and that you managed some sleep.
Keep strong again today. Team Ophelia are all here to back you up. even the bad arse crazy ones.

threemore no not me! But it makes me sad there are more men like my H out there

Another de lurking to say you are doing great, stay dignified and remember YOU are the one in control.

He's a nobber.

Another day closer to being legally shot of this twat, Ophelia.

Remember you are awesome. Too awesome for him.

Just catching up - another day Ophelia, hope you got some sleep at least. Face the day with everything you can muster. Hope your DT's are ok. Be brave and keep going

Hope you slept ok OP and that you've got a lovely day with DTs planned.

I'm sure your solicitor has already advised you, but make sure you keep all the messages he's been sending you, they may be useful evidence in divorce proceedings.

If the twins will let you....watch repeats of will and grace on channel 4 in the morning....

Just saying good morning and I hope you managed to sleep better last night, OpheliaRose.
Also, agree completely with Justusemyname.
Also, please keep on coming here to vent, particularly so if you feel inclined to respond to provocation by your H.
Have only recently worked out why WF was nickname for OW. Brilliant! (Not firing on all cylinders here!)

Morning OP. Been thinking about your situation a lot last night and this morning & tried to put myself in your position, you honestly have dealt with this 100 x better than I ever could. You've done yourself & your DT's so proud.
Hope you're feeling a little stronger as each day passes

Admittedly didn't read the updates before posting last night. Good on you for cutting him off.

It is sad, I can assure you of something though. This morning her FB has her filled with messages from friends/family supporting her. His - nada! Whilst I admire you dignity and silence I can see why it's tempting to go the other way too. I don't know her well but do he now ex and my opinion of him has sunk and I have alot of respect for her dealing with this and two children and still holding it together.

Ooooft those typos were bad. Phone on the bus is my excuse ??

Ophelie
Good Morning!
WE all have a lot to learn from your behavior: humility, restraint and calm strength.
It is so crystal clear that you are the GOOD one and that there are the bad disgusting ones that all MNs ladies rally behind you in unison- even the ones that usually do not agree on other betrayal cases do agree in your case.
Try to find peace in your heart and mind!
Big Hugs!

Morning, how are you feeling today?

Is there anything that the solicitor advised you that you can start putting into action? If you break it down into small parts, maybe do one thing each day it won't feel quite so overwhelming.

Have you contacted anyone to find out if you can claim any Tax Credits/benefits? What about notifying the Council that there is no only 1 adult in residence at your property - you should get a 25% discount on your Council Tax.