Affair - not sure how to cope part 2

[OpheliaRose]

In my previous thread I found out my husband was having an affair with a girl from work and has decided to leave me for her.

My previous thread is here for anyone who would like to se ether full details Old Thread

Agree with kittens. Won't affect the twins and why should he have it all his way.

I think we need a separate thread for our revenge fantasies on this one.

Specialist, like.

Agree with gerti and magoria.

Don't give him any ammunition to twist later and don't play his games.

Equally, keep all communication to a minimum and give away as little as possible.

And I also really feel you should block him on Facebook. You'll feel better and I imagine he will use it more and more to hurt you on purpose. Please don't allow him that opportunity.

I hope you're ok.

Ophelia put the fear of god in him and tell him if he makes any veiled threats then you will take the children's access through court anyway - please believe me when I say that not only will they drag Hs history through the court they will also be airing OWs if he is planning to move in.
Honestly going through court would be excruciating for him - ALL his dirty laundry and I mean ALL of it would be aired ( I did this when H did the same to me because he and OW were trying to dictate access and I wouldn't allow it) - so don't take any of this shit about making sure he has access to the DC - YOU have the upper hand . DO NOT allow yourself to be intimidated - he does NOT have a leg to stand on.

OP when you are through this and recovering and your heart is able to smile again we will celebrate by asking MN HQ to make an emoticon for wank fodder .

Look after yourself and the twins. Keep your dignity. Don't engage with him unless it's via your solicitor. Don't reply now, wait till tomorrow to get legal advice.

This man is an utter shit. Why aren't you absolutely steaming furious with him? You are in the right, he is WRONG. NO ARGUMENT. Don't even begin to
consider his behaviour/texts to you are reasonable and require an answer from you. His behaviour is outrageous, please don't let him make you undervalue yourself.
Massive hugs to you and your twins from far away.

I'd be tempted to go back with "tomorrow not good for us, but you can take them thurs. they'll be ready at x and have them back by x." That'll fuck with his plans.

Just to add Ophelia with regards to DT - he is now living on borrowed time.
What ever delusions he has about maintaining his relationship with the DT he lost them the minute he walked out.
You have so much to look forward to with your beauties - your relationship with them will grow and flourish - his won't .

I don't think that ophelia needs to worry about potentially giving him ammunition to use later. Sounds to me like he'll twist anything to make something out of nothing, so she might as well do whatever makes her feel better right now.
I'd get a few things off my chest now, and worry later on about what may or may not happen down the line. So, ophelia, pick out a couple of choice texts from those suggested above, hit send, and enjoy the moment.

I'm sad to say I feel very let down by the suggestions of breaking legs, cutting off his knob, what are you Thinking????? These are all quick....we need something slow, painful, humiliating......let's start with halitosis, a lovely facial rash and premature ejaculation...let's build gradually ladies

For ow I'm thinking vaginal dryness, repeated and prolonged cystitis and an over enthusiastic hairdresser that has given her a pixie cut.....

That will do this week, next week we will go to phase two....bring marigolds and aprons, you will need them

I've blocked him on facebook! its a big big move forward for me ... I can;t bare the pain eh is causing me right now. every time i see his name show up i get a sinking sick feeling in my tummy.

Feeling so crappy just ate a cream egg from Easter and am sat wrapped up in a blanket.

I want to go to bed but i keep looking at the clock thinking its way way too early.

Really don't know what to do with myself right now .... my friend told me when she first split with her ex she burned through geordie shore, jersey shore and keeping up with the kardashians as she just needed something mindless to concentrate on

Well done Ophelia!! Will you respond to his txt?

Ophelia you have had some very good advice here, and hopefully at the solicitor's too.

I would block him on fb and on my phone, get a cheap as wankfodder chips pay as you go and text him your new number, just the text 'new number for OpheliaRose' and not top it up because I would be abusing him constantly. Then you can check the cheapy phone once a day at a set time, unless he is with the dts. I would also set up a new email account and junk him.

Let him have the dts, I would get your df or db to meet him and doorstep him, and wait for them in the pub. And I would get into a heart to heart with the barmaid if you know her and slip her the truth. Then he will never know where the truth came from.

He makes me so mad, I want to shake or throttle him.

Well done Ophelia. Just started watching Devious Maids, it's mindless viewing and might give you some ideas. Hang on in there, you're doing fine, we'll keep you company.

Good on you!

Yay well done Ophelia x

(I'm in bed ... It's not too early is it? Am so tired )

Ava thank you for the phone suggestion thats a really good idea

Yaay, Ophelia! Such good moves. More hugs from distant lands.

Well Done Ophelia, a huge well done re facebook.

Now its time to set up an email account that you use for any unavoidable dealings with him, and its also time to get a phone that you for the same reason.

He will not be expecting this and you are taking back control of your life.

Well done on the FB.

It is a very hard step to do. Like picking a scab you keep going there. Make sure your FB is nice and secure so 'strangers' can't see it.

Keep all communication via text/email. It gives you a paper trail of evidence. Do not talk with him.

Every time I check this thread I'm taken aback by your H's ability to reach ever increasing levels of fuckwittage. You've been amazingly restrained and dignified, as ever. I wouldn't be surprised if you get another text when he realises he can't see your FB anymore. He doesn't like not being in control does he? As hard as it must be, I'd be shouting about his sordid little affair from the rooftops - don't let him paint it as a mutual decision and overlook all the grubby little details. Hopefully his truly disgusting behaviour helps you towards realising how much better you'll be without him in the long run. Snuggle up, Lovely, and find something trashy or funny to watch on TV. Have a nice evening. X

Well done you xx

Ophelia. Bloody well done! The fb blocking will sometimes feel hard, but it's absolutely the right thing. And it's the biggest two finger salute to the idiot (but firstly, it's totally right for you, right now).

Well done. Small steps. xx

Yeah well done from me too! The crappy phone idea is good too.

I'm currently binging on Misfits (I'm soo behind in the TV stakes) on Netflix. It's given me a fair few belly laughs.

Alternatively head to bed if you feel you need it, be kind to yourself. Xx