DRY 7!!!

[mollyonthemove]

The new thread for the alcohol free and the wanna be free . come and join us

Well done bobbly! First week now?

To those that drank at the weekend, here's to a brand new start and a better week ahead :)

Was able to mention to someone about not drinking anymore a few days ago and I felt really comfortable with it. Before I would have almost panicked by saying that was tying me into a situation I wasn't sure I was able to uphold. I'm becoming quietly confident. I do miss it a bit at times but nothing compared to the start and am able to think my way into knowing I'm missing nothing, playing the tape to the end. Waking up with a clear head and actually achieving things rather than lying around feeling like death, purging a poison from my body never gets old.

All moved and unpacked and sober treat to myself, I've decided to start training for a half marathon in Sept (again, last year I injured myself the week before and couldn't do it). I could possibly live to regret this decision :)

Well done Last - moved, unpacked and sober treat! Good luck with half-marathon training too. Running has been a godsend for me in my recovery journey and it was training for the London 5 years ago that started me on this whole evolution.
Well done too bobbly for one week :)
How's everyone else?

Well done last :)

Not doing well, am so stressed about needing a job, and I just want to cry and knock myself out...

However, have not done so yet, and intend to hold it together at least until I have take DD to ballet and back this afternoon. Going to see someone about some part-time work I can do from home this morning - it won't be enough to live on, but maybe some extra cash to pad out my savings a bit longer. I have enough for the next 3-4 months anyway, and keep reminding myself that there is no need to panic yet.

I have a list of websites I check for jobs everyday, manage to find something I can apply for every day, but so far no responses :(

Hello hello hello! I have been away from MN for a while - but have missed this thread so just saying hi and waving to old friends and new peeps. Still sober (3 years and 2 months), but definitely still have wobbles when that bastard booze tries to tempt me into believing I'd be fine now and could drink 'like a naice normal person'. I have done my knee in so can't exercise at the moment which is driving me bonkers and perversely making me want to consume vast quantities of chocolate which I need like a hole in the head

evening all.
sigma how are you this evening? Can you think of some nice things to relieve the stress? walk, long hot bath, good book, etc?
last well done on moving and surviving!

well, I am now at just over a week
I spent a lot of time today remembering how hideous last Tuesday was with a shocking hangover trying to get to the end of the day!

I am feeling very on edge and irritable tonight though....maybe that af is due in a few days though...
Still have some plans to distract myself this evening and oddly not even particularly want to drink tonight.... actually just really want to hide in bed with my book! All dc also seem in foul moods so going to try to get them up to bed early and then follow on myself.

Hope everyone else is doing OK

gosh it's quiet on here just now! How is everyone doing.
I struggled a bit last night, as the evening wore on I felt more and more on edge, really fancied a "glass" of wine, but didn't give in.
anyway, feeling better today. happy to wake up with no hangover!
merse 3 yrs 2 months is a great achievement , well done.
sigma bambam how is this week going for you?
corn how are you feeling now you have had a little while to get used to your ds diagnosis, any better?

right, off to face the chaos that is getting 6 dc up and out to school LOL!

I am so sorry I have been off for a while. Catching up with everyone and welcome to new people It was my 18 month versary yesterday which was a day I could never have predicted seeing, so please don't give up - it can be done! will
catch up more later - need to wake a small child lots of
love to everyone

Morning everyone! Also dashing out for the school run. Thanks bobbly am up and down emotionally. Have ordered heaps of books so I can learn more.

molly 18 months!!!!

Hi everyone Sigma how are you today?

Hi all, please may I join you?

At the weekend I yet again crossed my 'line' and drank far far too much ending up sobbing on some friends on the train home. How embarrassing. That is just the latest in a long line of idiotic things I have done under the influence.

The real trigger for me to stop now is that I have a 6 month old little girl and I'm terrified of this spiralling out of control and negatively affecting her.

I am on day 4 AF and feel great, have had no temptation so far but I'm well aware that as the weekend fades in my memory it will be so easy to nip to the shop to buy a bottle of wine. I'm hoping with the support of you all, who I can relate to so so much, I can crack it this time.

My major concern is I have a couple of holidays coming up and I've always loved a drink on holiday - any tips?

Hi can I join? I want to stop the every night drinking, and get it to just a bottle of wine on a Saturday night. I have no willpower during the week and I'm starting to annoy myself

Hi Fresh and Missy. Welcome to you both - really good to have you on board.

Re. holidays - I think it is all to do with reprogramming the brain. So ,whereas before holidays were all about getting smashed, now they become a v. different sort of fun - but still really fun. Actually MORE fun as you DO things, REMEMBER where you are etc. I never used to see the sights or notice much as I was so focused on sinking the next bottle of vino. Now I find I get so much more out of holidays (be it visiting museums, enjoying the sights, the food, reading books, whatever). And over time you associate those things with a good holiday and don't miss the old way of doing it. That is my experience anyway - not saying it is plain sailing - but SO worth just putting one foot ahead of the other and doing it.

Missy - I am probably not the best person to advise you if what you want to achieve is moderation. I think for many of us on this thread the problem is that we can't do moderation. I know I wish I could - and tried my damnedest to pull it off for years and years!! But once I get started I just can't put the bottle down - so for me the only answer is to write it out of my life script. Totally. So no exceptions at weekends. You may be different however, and only you can know that. I find taking the option away totally is v.freeing and, weirdly, makes it easier. OTherwise I would be constantly battling my instincts, bargaining with myself about how much is ok etc. Just exhausting, frankly, and in my case always fruitless.

Yes you could be right. I just find the thought of totally giving up terrifying so if limiting it to 1 bottle on a Saturday night or less than a bottle then maybe I could eventually get to the point of none. I had a bottle last night and I'm now feeling guilty. I hate it I do hope I can get to the mindset of none.

What do you have in the evenings to drink instead? This is my problem unless I go bed early.

I do tend to go to bed quite early! In the early days I went to bed really early every night - just as my way of 'switching off' given that my old way of switching off wasn't available any more. I drink slimline tonic water like it's going out of fashion. Particularly nice with a squeeze of fresh lime juice in it. Otherwise just mineral water, tea etc. In the summer I keep a tupperware jug filled with cold herbal tea or water with slices of cucumber and lemon in it. Feels spa like somehow. If I can do it anyone can, trust me…..!

I think bed early will be my saviour too lol. I'm determined to do this. Today would have been my nephews birthday. Going to mums later and I will not drink

Good for you. You will get loads of fabulous support on this thread. Hope it goes well later - good luck. I think v. important to remember that you can always leave (a party/social occasion or whatever) if you think it's getting hard to say no to drinks. No law that says you have to stay. In the early days you need to look after yourself. I hardly went 'out' at all until I felt much more secure in my ability to say 'no thank you'.

Hello to Fresh and Missy too!

I have now managed three AF holidays, and the first one was pretty tricky that is true. Luckily, it involved driving so I made sure I was the driver all the time - letting DH have a couple of pints so he couldn't drive. The hardest was the most recent - in Portugal, the weather was lovely, the drink was cheap and I really did have a couple of pangs I won't lie. You'll just have to do our famous 'playing the tape to the end' Remember what will happen when that one becomes too many. It's hard but you will be so pleased.

Missy - also not good for me to try and talk about moderation! It doesn't work. To be brutally honest, if you know you can't control your drinking when you have started, you won't be able to manage it by trying to stick to one day. I found that a few things happen - first, you become fixated on that one 'day' in the week you can drink. It becomes the highlight of your week and you can't wait to get there. You may be ok for a few weeks, then you will think 'I'm great, I can handle this, I think I'll start drinking on two nights a week as I'm doing so well..' In the end, you will quite possibly be back at square one and feeling bloody horrible :(. I don't want to sound stern (!) but really this tends to happen to those of us who are self aware enough to know there is a problem.

Try to just stop completely for a week ,twoweeks, etc and see how you go x

Thank you for the welcomes - I can't tell you how good it feels to put this all on paper, I'm too ashamed to tell anyone in RL (although my DH knows Ive had problems but it's a bit of an elephant in the room)

Thanks Merse and Molly for the AF holiday tips - I can already imagine how great it would feel to manage it. I just find it so hard!

missy I too have tried to moderate for years and years to no avail. And as others have said when I've not drunk in the past (dry january 2 or 3 times) it's been a lot easier than deciding if/when/how much to drink.

Thank you for your replies. Yes if I find myself slipping I will just say no to any at all.

I have work tomorrow so we won't be staying late at my mum's as I want to get a bath etc. Maybe I can try having my baths later? I do have them quite early so if I have them later it means it will be about time for bed when I'm out.

Fresh you sound just like me - I was really reluctant to mention my alcohol problem to anyone in RL. My DH used to make comments like 'we should really think about cutting down the amount we drink' sometimes - which really meant 'YOU should stop drinking so much'. He pussy footed around the subject for years (sweet really - I think he just didn't want to face up to how bad things were). It's a huge relief to just be able to be honest about it, isn't it? And makes all the difference in the world when you know you are talking to people in the same boat so not judging you.

merse - how did you finally end up talking about it in RL? The only time I ever really have spoken about it to my DH is during that horrible hangover haze the next day when I'm panicking about yet another stupid thing I've done the night before...

Problem I have is that he is Mr Moderation and he genuinely cannot understand why I can't do the same.

My DH is Mr Moderation too. He used to wonder why I couldn't be more like him, but after a particularly awful episode I took myself off to an AA meeting and told him that is what I was doing. The whole thing was horrendous, but actually there was a real relief in being amongst people with the same problem and I found I related to so much that was said that I couldn't deny I was an alcoholic. Then just explained to DH that unfortunately it's the way I'm made and I can't do moderation like normal people and he has just accepted it. Our house is still full of alcohol and he enjoys his half a bottle a night (I was ok with that, but know many people aren't). I think he's just relieved he doesn't have such an appalling apology for a wife any more so doesn't feel the need to ask any more Qs as long as I stay sober! Haven't told many others in RL, tho. Just say I prefer not to drink these days/feel better for it blah blah. Hope that helps. Just my story - wonder if you've had time to read back through a few threads; I always find it really helpful hearing other people's stories for some reason.

Thank you merse, that's so helpful. I think my DH will support me - he's seen the drunk me far far too often. Even 4 days into this I am already nicer to be around - after the best part of a bottle of wine I tend to not really say much and just vegetate until I slope off to bed. That's unless i'm out and drinking...in that case I'm the last one 'standing' and inevitably talking nonsense.

I've read this thread and it's so very helpful, you all sound very inspiring and to know it can be done is so reassuring. I'll read back on the previous threads for some more background. Thanks again!

Oh and missy you asked about what to drink in the evening - for me those little bottles of chilled diet coke feel like a treat and (for now) are something I quite look forward to of an evening!

Thanks fresh. I've got an app on called water balance where you put in the drinks you have. I need to drink more water.

I will do this.

afternoon all
welcome fresh and missy I am new here too, I'm on day 9 now.

corn the reading will be good, think of how well prepared you will be to face any challenges ahead!

so, I have just got in from the school run and already totally stressed out. 3 youngest dc are being especially challenging at the minute and have basically misbehaved and argued all the way home
Then dd1 (15) who is struggling with some mental health issues hersef is stressed about exams so I am trying to listen to her and help her , with arguing small people buzzing round me like flies and my head feels as if it would explode! Now is the time I would pour a VERY large glass of winde and drink it very fast. I am struggling to resist the urge although helped by the fact there is none in the house.
I really need to find other ways of being able to de-stress and relax.
Currently I am also using very early nights as my way of switching off. I just cant relax in the evenings, I find myself just getting more and more tense....
right, think I might go and dig in the garden for 20 mins.