DRY 7!!!

[mollyonthemove]

The new thread for the alcohol free and the wanna be free . come and join us

Crossroads I think if your dh hasn't worked out that your drinking is not 'normal' (whatever that is) then you may need to have a frank and full conversation with him about it so that he can be supportive instead of scuppering your efforts. It's not an easy conversation to have but worth it I think. I didn't tell anyone for years because I was scared they would try and make me stop, which was my ultimate aim anyway, how nuts is that?

Molly, that sounds like a lovely holiday we haven't had a holiday for a few years because of a v difficult and untrustworthy teenager in the house. Things have taken a change for the better in that respect in the last 5/6 months and I'm hoping that by next year I will feel confident to leave her home alone and not come home to a traumatised slightly younger teen and a pile of rubble. Or perhaps she'll have left home by then, one can only hope

I have a day off work, took it off to do a household admin thing which I managed to complete over the phone yesterday so what shall I do, yoga, meditation, five mile run with the dog or park myself on the sofa in front of Jeremy Kyle? Probably somewhere in the middle. I'm broke (having completed the admin thing) so a gentler exercise option of a swim is out of the question but I would like to do something active to counteract my massive biscuit habit.

morning all
crossroads sounds like you're doing well. It is hard when other people can't accept your choices. I think you need to prioritize your health and well being though.
tsonly how lovely, a day off with no pressing demands. Hope you are enjoying it!

I am just struggling with feelings of guilt having told work I wont be working the next three Saturdays of overtime that they offered me. I know deep done it is the right decision, as I just can't cope with taking more on , but I still don't feel easy with the decision. I worry I'm letting them down. I worry I'm turning down the chance to earn money we could do with....
I REALLY need to learn it is OK to put my needs first sometimes.... I find it SO hard. Why do I feel SO guilty for making any decisions that put my own needs ahead of others? I will literally stress about this all day now.....
And yes that is something that had contributed to my drinking. I would push myself so hard looking after everyone else and neglecting myself that I then used alcohol as a fast and easy release when I was too exhausted and overwhelmed to manage anything else....

will be back later when I have more time
Hope all are doing well....

Bobbly life balance is a well known and important part of recovery, all organisations that I've been involved with use it as part of their programs (AA, Smart, NHS counselling services). I know that I most start drifting into dangerous thinking when I'm tired and my reserves are low. So on those terms you're absolutely not wrong to put yourself first and there's nothing wrong with that!

I even knew people in AA who had given up high flying careers to work much less stressful jobs for a fraction of the money because they prioritised their sobriety above all else.

Hi everyone! Day 14 for me here - woop!! DP and I are both sticking with it and feeling good. I have had a few moments now that the weather is glorious, thinking that a wee drink on the balcony in the evening would be nice - BUT I have managed to see that it would end in us being miserable, so we are happily drinking tea and shloer!

molly 19 months is fab - well done!

glitter I hope you are being kind to yourself and feeling better.

Morning everyone.

Just checking in. There was an interesting feature yesterday on Womans hour about women and alcohol- the main focus was why women who drink are pilloried and men are not, but there was a good interview with Lucy Rocca who founded soberistas.

www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b05xgkxb

Hope everyone is fine.

Hi everyone - I drifted off because I felt that it was hopeless to try & stop... but now am back! Trying for an AF day today, armed with a good book to read, no alcohol in the house, and a Positive Mental Attitude.

I've done enough housework to prevent feelings of guilt, had a good job interview yesterday (fingers so far crossed they are almost dislocated ) and the sun is out. Perhaps a walk a bit later, as I don't fit into any of my clothes and I definitely need exercise. Taking lots of multi-vitamins and trying to eat more fruit & veg (especially uncooked).

It's great to hear that so many people are keeping AF - you are an inspiration and I am going to try and join you

Morning all! Thanks for the link Corn :)
Fingers crossed with you Sigma
BamBam congrats on 14 days.
Beaut day out there and already been for a run - feels like it's going to be a scorcher AF drinks at the ready for anyone who finds days like today triggery ....

Hmmm... getting difficult now. Time for a walk in the sunshine, I think, and not take any money with me.

You can do it Sigma :)

Day 11 for me :) All ok at the moment, although I do seem to be drinking a lot of the Torres Rose :) it is VERY nice :) As is the red :)

But I don't care if it temporarily derails the low carb weight loss plan as I am NOT drinking alcohol by drinking the AF stuff - it works for me :)

Feel so TPS and full of energy - I really do feel so much better and get so much more done if I don't drink. Wish I could view alcohol in the same light as gluten and dairy - I can't have them as they make me ill - so does alcohol.

Hi all,

I'm another one who fell off the wagon!

Went eight and a half months last year, EIGHT AND A HALF MONTHS!!! - alcohol free and then faltered.

Carried on drinking till New Year's then went dry for January and planned to carry on from there, only for a shitstorm to hit - loss of work/income and health of close family member amongst other things. No excuses, but it's been a hugely horrible and stressful time, lots of upheaval and change (you know the kind you have no control over but where life just sort of takes over and pushes you along whether you like it or not?)

Exercise, eating properly and generally taking care of myself has gone out of the window these past few months. I've made attempts, a dry week here, a dry few days there there, but sadly a bottle of wine of an evening has become a regular thing again, and I am so disappointed with myself.

However, both my grown up up kids are away from now until Monday, so I have decided that I am going to have an alcohol free few days while I have the house to myself (single mum). Things are settling down a bit in terms of 'life events' and I'm feeling better in myself so the plan is to make the most of this time - eat nice healthy meals that I like with no kids to cook for, having time to do my yoga and also catch up with some DIY projects in the garden. Currently painting my shed in a gorgeous colour and stripping back all the woodwork and it looks fab .. and the only thing I will be sipping while I work, is water.

Glad if the Torres AF works - it works And yes it is very nice!
Fontella welcome back :) Don't be too hard on yourself as 8 1/2 months is amazing and it is not unusual for people to falter around the 9 month mark. Danger relapse time it would seem so you are not alone in that! Sorry to hear life's been so crappy and hope you have a lovely week.
Sigma stay strong!

I know I'll be OK now until I take DD to her ballet class... then I will have to drive past various off-licences :(

Whoop! Some great accomplishments here.

How did you get on Sigma?

Sounds like a good plan Fontella. I'm another one who fell off a 6 month wagon and I look at it as a learning curve. My trial run.

Have to ask what is TPS glad? Saw it mentioned on the dry Jan thread a few times but missed what it actually stood for.

I feel great, turns out my mood last weekend was PMT Fantastic weather and for a change it hasn't triggered me at all (though I would break someone's arm for a ciggie at moments the last few days). Was in the alcohol aisle, buying quarter bottles of wine for cooking - strangely that doesn't bother me as I know it's not enough for me to get my fill but couldn't trust myself to buy a full bottle and freeze some. Looked at the AF beers and changed my mind and bought lots of fruit and veg instead for smoothies and flavoured water. It's so lovely spending time with the dc in the sun, they can have their friends round without me getting antsy and chasing them home so I can open a bottle. Even got round to planting some herbs :)

Hey there. We have bought some Lidl Italiamo Aperitivo Rosso, which to me tastes EXACTLY like Campari and soda. Gorgeous yummy drink.

After dinner I lay on our lawn while DS ran around with a plastic ball singing 'Let it Go'.

The lawn which I, myself, actually mowed this morning. Go me!

... actually it tastes so much like campari I am now getting the wibbles....

.... googling madly......

no, it's okay, phew.

TPS = TSP Twatty Sober Polyanna

I am definitely a TSP at the moment, it's better than the alternative

I do have a danger time coming up though, dh has given me ample warning of a weekend when he will be away which is a situation when I've drank in the past and I've already had to fight off thoughts of planning a drink/stopping the meds. Still at least I'm aware of it and telling you lot is progress, I'd have done it secretly in the past. The weekend is 11th July, I will check in here at the time for Pom poms if that's ok? I'm owning it, so to speak. A SMART tool, I think from memory. Own it, ride it out, tell someone!

Morning. Feeling much calmer. Weekend approaching (usually an excuse to drink as early as "reasonable". In this house DP often has a beer at 11am. He can however moderate and have 4 over the day. Me however...wasted day with the children seeing mum take yet another little "nap".
Am reading blogs, forums, anything I can find on mothers with drink problems. Just started Lit: A Memoir by Mary Karr. I have let my girls down and risked their safety in the past. I'm searching for some comfort from the huge guilt and shame that other otherwise decent women have also done this and turned their lives around. Lit is written for the author's son who grew up witnessing his mothers alcoholism.

Have a good Friday everyone.

Failed. Completely. Today drank as soon as DD at school. Am a crap mum :(

Sigma Chin up. Do you usually drink as soon as your daughter goes to school? Or is this day different :)

Oops sorry all, I was trying to abbreviate Twatty Pollyanna Syndrome as TPS but it works as well as the other one :) Actually how about TSPS? (Twatty Sober Pollyanna Syndrome) lol

Seriously though, sometimes I wonder if I am a tiny bit dyslexic as I have difficulty typing letters the wrong way round in words? Usually the same words and always acronyms. Not when I write, just when I type? or maybe it is my crap old keyboard...

Anyway...

Sigma you are NOT a crap mum. You had a drink while she was safe at school. That is not being a crap Mum! So my suggestion is - have a drink of water and have a rest, drink some more water, be kind to yourself and start again. Don't let a blip this morning be the excuse to do more of it the rest of today :)

Please ignore my last comment it was shit
Glad works either way for me and yes I agree with all that you wrote. Sigma I should have said the same

Oh, hope you are okay sigma. Try to get back into that positive mental attitude, and be kind to yourself. You are not a crap mum, and I bet DD can't wait to finish school and give you a hug.

I have made a massive pot of chilli for DP and I tonight, and we are going to have a couple of bottles of (alcohol free) Kopparberg mixed fruit cider - it's so nice!

Yay - happy weekends to us all!