Dh said I'm fat

[runlikeagirl]

I suggested some chocolate (might have suggested cracking open and Easter egg). He said no and then added "you can't keep complaining of being fat and then eat chocolate. You'll always be fat if you carry on like that"

I pulled a face. He carried on "well, am I supposed to pretend you haven't put on weight, you have"

I have put on a little weight as I've been injured and not running and there is possibly some issues with my thyroid. I'm 5lbs over my upper bmi weight, 5'6" and a size 14.

Im really hurt, be he seems to think he is only stating fact.

Well, I guess that makes me a troll too then. I can hardly believe I have to point this out but disgareeing with someone does not = troll.

By the way, trying to shut someone up by commenting on their mental health issues in a negative way is horrible behaviour. Why would anyone do that?

Thanks Box I think shes projecting by saying that.

OP you need to tell your "D"H to step up and help with the children instead of leaving everything to you* you've had a really shit time of things lately and I know you're missing running loads.

*Yes I know them in RL

Suffolk
Please do us all a favour and give her "D"H an ear bashing on behalf of MN.

Bit of peace and love please MNers

helena you've projected throughout this thread, as you do with every other thread that you enter on the same vein.

flippin no-one is trying to shut anyone up, but if you've seen Helena post on these subjects before you will quickly see she tries to shut everyone down by blaming us 'fat shamers and fascists' for her problems - I refuse to be blamed for someones mental health issues when all people are doing is giving well rounded, factual advice.

Back to the OP anyway because this is not fair on her, runlikeagirl have you said anything else to your DP?

Run if hes commenting on your weight is he willing to put his money where his mouth is by sole parenting of an evening so you can go out and excersise if thats what you want to do.

Good suggestion, if he knows it's important to you and says you shouldn't keep complaining it would make sense for him to show some support

I wouldn't know about that Grays, I tend to take people as I find. I don't think she's said anything awful here - unlike the various posters who have lined up to have a pop at the OP who has mentioned that she is hurt, has been unwell and is under stress.

I don't think using sombodies mental health issues to try and discredit their comments on a thread is the type of thing anyone should be doing. It's stigmatising and unkind.

Anyway, I've said enough. Apologies OP, I didn't mean to derail.

If you have been saying you feel fat, and you are in fact a bit overweight, then I don't think you can really hold it against him for saying this. He's not saying he doesn't love you or is not attracted to you, he is probably just trying to be helpful albeit in a bloke kind of way. When I complain to my DH I feel fat (I am like you not exactly very fat but a little over where I should be) he tells me that he "digs fat chicks". That'll teach me!

- Partner complains they are fat. They then go on to eat crappy food and when you point out the connection, you are the bad guy

mumsnet: he should support you!

- Partner complains they are always tired. They play video games til 3am and when you suggest they go to bed, you are the bad guy

- Partner complains that they hate their job. They refuse to look for a new job and if you point out career related opportunities or new jobs, you are bad guy.

- Partner complains they are in pain or sick. They refuse to go to the doctor and when you beg them to, you are the bad guy.

mumsnet: ltb

OP: please take responsibility for your own actions and feelings. Stop complaining about your weight. Stop giving your partner mixed signals. I'm glad that you are only 5 pounds over a 25 BMI (I apologize I thought it was 30) but that just seems more irritating rather than less. You point out that you previously lost 2.5 stone and it sounds like your partner was supportive of that yet you run to mumsnet to bash him at the first chance you get.

Apple
Read suffolks post : there is clearly a back story - it takes two to tango

I'm lucky, I'm allergic to chocolate so never have to worry about Easter egg inhalation

Woah. Without being accused of drip feeding. He does mean unattractive. Because I know his views on 'fat'. But he wouldn't say he found be attractive or unattractive iyswim. He doesn't 'do' that.

I started my period today. Which probably explains the chocolate craving and the overreaction. He's just a bit of an insensitive Spock type.

I am taking on board the advice on here. TiP I remember you from the 5:2 threads. Someone asked what has worked. Slimming world and 5:2. However Sw only worked with lots of low fat stuff like muller lights which I don't want to do.

5:2 was initially stopped due to marathon training (2 weeks before race) and then because I take lithium and my levels kept being out. Fasting changes your hydration and salt levels, neither of which are good on lithium. You have to drink the same and keep your diet roughly the same.

I have made wiser food choices today, but will do the main changes on Tuesday. I will investigate good school lunches. I get really hungry on school days, something to do with never sitting down and all the stress! I do try and drink lots, but again lack of breaks, means lack of toilet breaks too.

Thanks suffolkx

I asked a while back OP (but it was probably lost amongst all the prune controversy!) - what was his attitude re your size/weight when you were 2.5 stone heavier? Or was it not mentioned?

but will do the main changes on Tuesday
Good call.
Have a great weekend.

School lunches : wraps are easy to eat one handed while getting set up for your next lesson, or rolls as again your fingers cannot dig into the filling, or salad pots - so long as they come with a fork!

The lack of breaks is a nightmare when you're trying to eat well. I work 13/14 hour shifts and I found I was snacking on calorific food from the vending machine in between wards. It's at that point when carrot sticks and dip don't really cut it the same as a Mars does...

Could you do smoothies? Like full veggie ones, easy to make and quick to drink whilst you're on the go.

Er, I can't remember. I think if I said anything he would suggest we eat healthier or I do exercise. But he has a very flexible job and is able to exercise in the day. Some days I come home at 5.30pm, see kids, do bedtime and then start work again until 10pm and go to bed!

Hi run I have struggled with 5:2 as well because I did well on it, but if I had a bad week when I didn't fast it was so hard to restart the fasting again. I kept putting it off and before I knew it 6 weeks has past!

run couldnt he do bedtime while you do whatever you would like whether that be excsrsise or researching healthy recipes etc. What is it you do for a living. Dont say if it will out you.

livelove
I always restart fasting on a Monday - when I'm still full from the weekend.

I did SW for the first time when i was working ten hour night shifts. I lost a lot of weight but what would help people is there being stricter rules about getting time to eat properly while at work.

There have been posters on here saying that the OP shouldnt be moaning about her weight if she doesnt want her DH to say anything about it. (which i think was a bit unfair)

Well the Government and "think tanks" shouldnt be moaning about weight etc if they are not prepared to include every aspect of what causes it. And that includes stricter rules for employers to provide proper food breaks.