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Original poster

Dh said I'm fat

244 replies

runlikeagirl · 02/04/2015 22:12

I suggested some chocolate (might have suggested cracking open and Easter egg). He said no and then added "you can't keep complaining of being fat and then eat chocolate. You'll always be fat if you carry on like that"

I pulled a Hmm face. He carried on "well, am I supposed to pretend you haven't put on weight, you have"

I have put on a little weight as I've been injured and not running and there is possibly some issues with my thyroid. I'm 5lbs over my upper bmi weight, 5'6" and a size 14.

Im really hurt, be he seems to think he is only stating fact.

OP posts:
itsbetterthanabox · 03/04/2015 15:37

I'd stop complaining about your body to your DH. He probably doesn't want you hear you moan about yourself.
Does he have an issue with your body? Because he can shove it if he does as its nothing to do with him. He might just not like the moaning so stop moaning there's nothing wrong with you.

HelenaDove · 03/04/2015 15:52

runlikeagirl Fri 03-Apr-15 09:46:40
I will.

I know what to do. Just when you've been up at 5.30am (and up in night) and a teenage has just pushed you over and told you to fuck off and there are chocolate /cakes in the office it is too easy to give in

OP As your h is the solution solving type im assuming he does his fair share in the mornings and overnight yes?

HelenaDove · 03/04/2015 16:02

flippinada. I totally agree.

Perhaps as a teetotaller who has never been drunk in her life i could go and moralize over on the sober threads.

Wonder how many user names i would recognise on there.

flippinada · 03/04/2015 16:11

Helena I know. Being a few pounds overweight is really not that big a a deal (I've been fat, slim and everything inbetween...life goes on) but people on here are obsessed with it to a degree that seems...well...unhealthy.

TalkinPeace · 03/04/2015 16:15

flippinada / helenadove
You are not helping.
The OP's DH is lean and fit.
He commented that she is not.
They need to work together to get their relationship back working.
Her weight will not be helping with her foot injury.

Being overweight is unhealthy and causes life limiting diseases.

If you want to hide your heads in the sand about the damage that being overweight does to your body when you get as old as me, fine, but do not try to say that the OP should not worry.

Gralick · 03/04/2015 16:20

I'm hiding this thread for the same reason I have the diet board hidden: it's shaming, dysfunctional, making me depressed and triggering my old eating disorders.

Before hiding it, run, I'd like to point out that you haven't posted for a diet discussion. If it's triggering or shaming you, please hide it.

I am very sorry you didn't get the emotional support you asked for :(

Gralick · 03/04/2015 16:23

Last shot as I retreat:

Her weight will not be helping with her foot injury. - It's five pounds! Would you be telling her not to run with 5lb weights, or not to do load-bearing exercise?

What a load of irrational cobblers Angry

HelenaDove · 03/04/2015 16:24

How is losing ten stone hiding my head in the sand Talkin. On another thread recently you mentioned how much being overweight costs the NHS.

I replied how this kind of body fascism has affected me mentally....to the point that i would flush any prescribed meds i may need down the loo if they said they may cause weight gain. Tumbleweed from you until i pushed it and you said that a few flushed pills is nothing compared to the costs those dieseases cause.

Because its not really about cost. Its about using a stick to beat us with Because however much weight we lose its never good enough.

And as a feminist it pains me to admit this but ive had a better and more kind reaction from men since my weight loss.

TalkinPeace · 03/04/2015 16:25

Gralick
Its not 5lb
its 5lb over the upper, upper limit of healthy weight.

To get to a truly healthy weight will involve losing a lot more : ideally with the help, support and companionship of her DH

GraysAnalogy · 03/04/2015 16:26

Body facism, that's a new one.

So not only is it fat shaming, it's body facism. Good grief.

TalkinPeace · 03/04/2015 16:27

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HelenaDove · 03/04/2015 16:29

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HelenaDove · 03/04/2015 16:31

Talkin i am not a troll

GraysAnalogy · 03/04/2015 16:34

Yes Helena I've read about your weight issues, and I've also got a clear view in my mind that you have mental health issues that need to be addressed in relation to them. Taking it out on people who want to discuss health and weight loss isn't on. Trying to derail and using buzz words like shaming and fascism to shut down discussion on a serious and relevant subject just because you have issues isn't fair.

HelenaDove · 03/04/2015 16:35

Ive got issues due to pressures and body shaming like there is on this thread.

itsbetterthanabox · 03/04/2015 16:35

The op didn't ask for diet advice either...

GraysAnalogy · 03/04/2015 16:36

No you have issues because you read into things that are nothing to do with you and chose to twist them negatively and use them against yourself.

TalkinPeace · 03/04/2015 16:36

itsbetterthanabox
Yes she did. in her post of 14:35

HelenaDove · 03/04/2015 16:37

its better than a box No the OP didnt did she She came on to discuss what her DH had said to her.

TalkinPeace · 03/04/2015 16:38

helena
If you do not like threads like these, why do you post on all of them?

When I see topics I do not like, I either ignore, or if I know I'll be on the Wine later, hide them before I can post.

itsbetterthanabox · 03/04/2015 16:38

It's super sad that one poster derails EVERY SINGLE THREAD with her unsolicited body shaming and 'diet' advice. It's never ever been helpful or useful to see those stock phrases over and over... Come on now find something else to talk about yeah?

itsbetterthanabox · 03/04/2015 16:40

Weird I don't see helenadove saying the same things over and over on any thread about bodies or food but I do see you.

houseofnerds · 03/04/2015 16:40

Her dh merely reminded her that SHE had been moaning about her weight.

But whatever.

HelenaDove · 03/04/2015 16:41

Im teetotal Talkin Ive never been drunk not once. So i dont have to hide threads because i cant get through a weekend without booze.

After all no one NEEDS to drink just like no one needs to eat chocolate!

GraysAnalogy · 03/04/2015 16:42

I have though itsbetter.