Dh said I'm fat

[runlikeagirl]

I suggested some chocolate (might have suggested cracking open and Easter egg). He said no and then added "you can't keep complaining of being fat and then eat chocolate. You'll always be fat if you carry on like that"

I pulled a face. He carried on "well, am I supposed to pretend you haven't put on weight, you have"

I have put on a little weight as I've been injured and not running and there is possibly some issues with my thyroid. I'm 5lbs over my upper bmi weight, 5'6" and a size 14.

Im really hurt, be he seems to think he is only stating fact.

Because fruit, nuts and health bars generally have fewer calories and less fat than high fat and sugar bars. Equally, it's not simply a question of calories, but the types of food.

Ah, we're pretty much of opposite opinions then ! I'm pretty much convinced by the whole "a calorie is a calorie" argument when it comes to weight loss. I think nuts are high in fat (good fats, but still calorific) and dried fruit is pretty high in sugars so I wouldn't recommend either as good snacking choices.

What would you recommend then?

I have been trying sliced pepper with one of those little humous pots at 4pm.... And an apple and cheese at 11am...

TBRH OP I think you are making a mountain out of the proverbial....
his comments could be seen as supportive- getting you to acknowledge your weight gain which is unhealthy and about which he feels concerned.

Look at it another way- if your nearest and dearest can't be open and frank then who can?

I understand how it hurt you but maybe - just maybe- that comment was the prod you needed to take stock and change things a bit?

5:2 is nigh impossible I'd say to do over a week when you have a demanding job as a teacher. The only way would be to do it at weekends or make it 1:6 - at weekends.

I take your point about running 20 miles a week- but turn that round and look at it another way: the exercise is burning off excess calories. If you eat so much that it can only be reduced by 20 mls running, then you are probably eating too much. Exercise is supposed to keep people 'cardio fit'- not be means in itself of weight control. If you can't run then gym exercises like free weights will create muscles mass which in turn will burn more calories even when you are sitting still. But I expect you know this.

something I think the important thing is to eat 3 good meals, mainly protein with plenty of veg, a little unrefined carbs, and not snack.
If you need to snack then a tiny piece of cheese ( half a small matchbox size) or a bit of lean meat, etc. But if you have a good breakfast eg a 2-egg omelette or 2 poached eggs on 1 slice toast, then you should be able to last through to lunchtime with no snacks.

Dry fruit is not high in sugar comparative to a Cadbury's bar.

There's 3.6g of sugar in a prune and 22g of sugar in a lion bar.

The sugar content in dried fruit gives a more slowly sustained release of energy. Prunes are high in soluble fibre which helps to keep blood sugar levels stable. Soluble fibre slows the rate that food leaves the stomach thus delaying the absorption of sugar into the blood stream. Soluble fibre also increases the body’s sensitivity to insulin.

What would you recommend then?

What works for me is knowing how many calories I have available for snacks that day, and then how I'm going to allocate them. I like my chocolate, so have at least 100 to spend on something like a Blue Riband but I know that a healthy diet requires more than chocolate.

I wonder if we looked at the same website Twinklestein

nutritiondata.self.com/facts/fruits-and-fruit-juices/2043/2

Yes, obviously a prune is preferable to Lion Bar in terms of nutritional value, but I think there's a risk that people will chow down on dried fruit thinking they're being all healthy, when they're actually consuming quite a bit of sugar from it all. The above link shows that prunes are rated 2/5 for weight loss, and 3/5 for weight gain.

Anyway, this is probably derailing the thread so hope you're ok OP and that everything gets sorted for you wrt to your thyroid and foot.

Ah, we're pretty much of opposite opinions then smile ! I'm pretty much convinced by the whole "a calorie is a calorie" argument when it comes to weight loss. I think nuts are high in fat (good fats, but still calorific) and dried fruit is pretty high in sugars so I wouldn't recommend either as good snacking choices.

In that case you are out of touch with current medical thinking.

Five to seven portions of fruit and vegetables per day are recommended because it is recognised that calories are not calories: the type from which you get your calories is key.

The link between junk food and obesity is now fairly well established.

If someone is on a diet, the less sugar the better. But if you are going to reach for a chocolate bar, and you are doing so habitually, it would be better to reach for dried fruit and nuts instead. You won't ingest as much sugar, you will ingest plenty of fibre, and you will not get such a sugar spike that will then trigger further sugar cravings.

Recent pieces of scientific research have indicated that almonds in particular may actually help curb appetite, decrease abdominal fat and moderate glucose levels: Link

I have been slim my whole life, as an adult I am health conscious and I want to maintain my figure. I eat a lot of nuts and I do not gain weight.

Eating dried fruit instead of sweets is like drinking fruit juice instead of fizzy drinks.

Maybe a bit more healthy, but not much.

Eating fresh fruit is much better.

Yes, obviously a prune is preferable to Lion Bar in terms of nutritional value, but I think there's a risk that people will chow down on dried fruit thinking they're being all healthy, when they're actually consuming quite a bit of sugar from it all

That's only a risk really for people who are not very bright.

The UK are the biggest consumers of junk confectionary in Europe, we also have among the highest BMIs. (Second highest at the last count).

It's best to snack habitually on food that has no added sugar if you can. I eat oat cakes, buckwheat crackers with humous for example.

What I am saying is that for people who have a taste for junky confectionary and a tendency to break diets for them, it would be better to reach for fruit and nuts than junk bars. If you can avoid both, then all to the good.

Op, I agree that you need to rethink fasting. I am teacher training and would find it impossible to get through a school day during a fast.
I have rejoined slimming world recently as I have put on over a stone since September, I have to rethink my diet now I don't have time to exercise as much.
I have to plan my meals, I find making a huge load of soup for the week helps, I either take it into work or have it for dinner. I also make a frittata and take that into work with some salad, it lasts 2 days or so. I know that I gain weight when I am not organised.
I hope you have a lovely Easter break, it sounds like you need it!

In that case you are out of touch with current medical thinking.

What's the current medical thinking on weight-loss if not "eat fewer calories"?

You know what? Don't bother. The internet is full of people endlessly arguing about weight loss. You're slim and happy. I'm a size 8 and bench-pressed 100lb this morning - I'm happy. We're both doing something right.

Dried fruit is really high in sugar. Ok there may be some fibre in it and some minerals but it's still concentrated sugar.
This ( all refined carbs and sugar is a carb) overloads the pancreas- which is why eventually it gives up and you end up diabetic.

It's also bad for the teeth- very sticky.

Far better to avoid 'feeding' a sweet tooth- and stick to savoury or no snacks at all. We don't need constant snacking. People seem unable to cope with feeling a little bit hungry these days.

Fwiw, the discussion was of 'calories are calories' not 'eat fewer calories', not the same thing at all.

Also I'd far prefer to have a small bit of chocolate than some bogging dried fruit.

At least nuts are nice.

That's only a risk really for people who are not very bright.

That's most of the population then given that over 60% - 70% are overweight and obese.

Twinkle I was recently in conversation with a top dietitian ( for work I do) and she stressed that dried fruit is not something to encourage people to eat because the sugar content is so much more concentrated that in fresh fruit- plus risk of dental caries.

Far better to avoid 'feeding' a sweet tooth- and stick to savoury or no snacks at all

It would be if people could stick to it, but they don't.

What my sister does is fairly typical: she goes on diets and says she can't have any sugar at all. Then she gets sugar cravings and eats a packet of kitkats or half a cake.

It would be better to accept that she may get sugar cravings and have some fruit instead.

iPad won't let me cut and paste for some reason but totally agree with your rejoinder to Twinklestein re 'not very bright' people pinkfrocks.

There's so much conflicting advice out there anyway re healthy diets and weight loss; its not surprising that there's so much low level squabbling really .

he is stating a fact. Guessing there's a lot more going on here than you are telling us, but facts are never rude. But 5lb over is not huge.

If you have thyroid issues then calories in/out may well not apply. The repeat (i.e. failed) dieters on here can shriek as much as they like but for those in normal health there is no proof of anything otherwise. As I said, may well not apply to you.

however if you are ill (as it sounds) a little more support would be nice.

lot of 'men say, women say' crap being stated here.

That's most of the population then given that over 60% - 70% are overweight and obese.

You're assuming that all overweight and obese people believe that if they 'chow down on dried fruit' they think 'they're being all healthy'.

I'm sure you're aware that's nonsense.

Twinkle I was recently in conversation with a top dietitian ( for work I do) and she stressed that dried fruit is not something to encourage people to eat because the sugar content is so much more concentrated that in fresh fruit- plus risk of dental caries.

So did she recommend that it would be better to stick to bingeing on chocolate and sweets then? I think not.

It's better to eat fresh fruit than dried fruit, but it's not always practical or possible to carry fresh fruit around and keep it fresh (at the OP's work for example).

Twinkle-
Yes, obviously a prune is preferable to Lion Bar in terms of nutritional value, but I think there's a risk that people will chow down on dried fruit thinking they're being all healthy, when they're actually consuming quite a bit of sugar from it all

You said That's only a risk really for people who are not very bright

many people- as shown on this thread- think that dried fruit is a healthy alternative to chocolate etc.

So did she recommend that it would be better to stick to bingeing on chocolate and sweets then? I think not.

Yes, of course she did.

Hi there,
I've not read the full thread
BUT
You are overweight
your DH stated what was obvious to him, even if it came across as rude.
SO,
this is the relationships board.
You both need to deal with the issue that is damaging your relationship.
You are overweight and deal with it by eating chocolate.
He deals with it by eating junk at you.
Neither is acceptable.

Sit him down and agree that the only way that you will get lean and mean is if the whole household sharpens up its act on food and nutrition and exercise.
Point out to him that 5:2 is about a lot more than weight loss
and that men always lose weight faster on it than women the bastards

Come Tuesday, both of you work together to improve your diet, improve your body shape, improve your body image and improve your relationship.

What's not to like?

Oh come off it. It's hardly beyond the bounds of possibility that people might think they're making healthy choices by substituting dried fruit for chocolate. It's also not beyond the bounds of possibility that they wouldn't realise said dried fruit is also packed with sugar and won't necessarily help them to lose weight.

Also, the OP is a teacher, not a deep sea diver - I'm sure she can manage to take an apple or a plum in to work in her bag without hitting the prunes .

Anyway, have had enough now so good luck OP!

"Oh come off it" was to Twinklestein btw!