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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

God knows what I've done wrong now!

563 replies

mumto3beautys · 27/03/2015 19:20

hi to all
I've got a thread on here about my toxic mother but I'm not sure my dp is much better, can I think aloud and people give me their opinion
take today for example he's staying over as we are going to visit family in the morning for the weekend
he's been off work all week but I've not seen him since Saturday as he's been "busy"
he was meant to come last night but cancelled as his ex threatened if he didn't have his son while she went drinking he wouldn't be seeing him again
so hes coming tonight ive spoken to him a few times today and he's just so angry all the time bites my head off for the smallest thing
the only thing I have done today is say oh probably in a bit of a dissapointed voice when he said he had to go and see his mum at 8 so no idea when he will get here...infact his words were ill be there when I'm there stop putting pressure on me ( I havent seen him all week! )
he's bringing a takeaway so I guess he will call when he's there to ask what I want but he has literally bit my head off in every single conversation today!
I said are you going to be in a better mood or be nice when you get here, I didn't mean it to be patronising I just wanted a heads up and his reply was yeah if u do this this and this and don't do this or this
surely there shouldn't be so many rules for someone to just be kind???
I have no idea why he's so angry/nasty atm

OP posts:
Jux · 09/04/2015 18:53

Ikea eh? That sounds unmissable. Wink

pocketsaviour · 09/04/2015 18:56

and he wanted to take me to ikea sat

You romantic devil, you.

ShipwreckedAndComatose · 09/04/2015 18:57

Has he asked you how you are yet?

Original poster
mumto3beautys · 09/04/2015 19:09

nope he hasnt asked how I am .... he has told me hes skint tho
its the 9th he gets paid on the 24th so his wages havent even lasted him half a month yet!
oh but thats my fault too as hes spent aload of money on paint etc trying to do his house up to rent out as ( months ago ) he had some romantic idea of moving in together!
hes like a child I'm not sure how hes gonna survive tbh without me waking him for work, cooking his meals and providing him with fags etc!
yet not a nice word anywhere in all these msgs

OP posts:
cozietoesie · 09/04/2015 19:13

As I said many posts ago - you were 'convenient'. What a prince, eh?

cozietoesie · 09/04/2015 19:14

PS - you do know who would have paid for anything at Ikea, don't you? (Probably for his house as well.)

ShipwreckedAndComatose · 09/04/2015 19:18

He thinks he's moving in????!!!!

Eggrique · 09/04/2015 19:25

Take you to Ikea? On a Saturday?
What fresh hell is this Mum?

LTB now Grin

cozietoesie · 09/04/2015 19:36

Now, now, Eggrique.... I'm sure it could have been worse.

Give me some considerable time. Grin

ShipwreckedAndComatose · 09/04/2015 19:40

There's always the meatballs...

ptumbi · 09/04/2015 19:52

hes like a child I'm not sure how hes gonna survive tbh without me waking him for work, cooking his meals and providing him with fags etc! - OP he is an adult!

Please don't worry about how he is going to get out of bed in the morning.

Jux · 09/04/2015 22:35

He will learn to take a bit of responsibility for himself no, he won't, he'll just find someone else to pay for him

You're well rid, mum. He's definitely a cocklodger even before he's moved in.

You can now have a happy life. Congratulations! Thanks. Stay strong, mum. You'll get through.

mysparkleismissing · 09/04/2015 23:02

You're kicking arse mum I love it

tipsytrifle · 09/04/2015 23:38

You're being awesome and furious in your revelation about exercising free will to not ... to just NOT. However somewhere along the way he has come to be of the opinion that he's going to rent (sub-let?) his place out and move in with you. Please don't let this happen! Also please don't cook for him or allow him access to anything in your fridge, your home, your mind.

Might be time to tell him it's over? Are you there yet? It's outrageous that he has asked NOTHING about you or the relationship. Just ploughing onwards with the usual orders for food, beer and fags, what ho!

cozietoesie · 10/04/2015 00:22

Outrageous, Yes, but his mind probably just won't accept that he's not the Lord Of All He Surveys - so he's reverted to old habits. A difficult time for mum because she has to avoid doing the same things and that's not always easy when you're tired of conflict.

GirlDownUnder · 10/04/2015 00:33

He is just so cheap and nasty! Time to put the trash out mum Grin

ShipwreckedAndComatose · 10/04/2015 08:20

How are you this morning, mum?

Eggrique · 10/04/2015 10:17

It's just the very basic of manners that we teach our children isn't it.
"Hello, how are you/"
"blah blah blah...HOW ARE YOU?"

It's really, really basic stuff and he can't be arsed with it Angry

It's a one way street with this man, he's all take, take, take.

Original poster
mumto3beautys · 10/04/2015 15:30

I feel ok today thanks ladies :)
he was meant to be coming over tonight n tomorrow so expecting some grief later tho!

OP posts:
TendonQueen · 10/04/2015 15:45

What happened about all the 'you cook me dinner in return for drinking my beer' stuff? Or has no more been said about that?

cozietoesie · 10/04/2015 15:55

Hope work is going well today.

Original poster
mumto3beautys · 10/04/2015 17:01

Yeah he still wants to come over for dinner later.... and go to ikea tomorrow! I haven't been at work today but had a lovely day in the park in the sunshine with my little girl Smile

OP posts:
ShipwreckedAndComatose · 10/04/2015 17:04

Are you planning that he comes over for his food and beer and then spends your money in IKEA tomorrow? Or do you have other plans?

ShipwreckedAndComatose · 10/04/2015 17:05

Sounds like a lovely day Smile I did the same with my two

CharlotteCollins · 10/04/2015 17:06

Oh fab, that sounds nice. Everything seems a bit easier when you have your DC with you and the sun is shining!

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