Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

God knows what I've done wrong now!

563 replies

mumto3beautys · 27/03/2015 19:20

hi to all
I've got a thread on here about my toxic mother but I'm not sure my dp is much better, can I think aloud and people give me their opinion
take today for example he's staying over as we are going to visit family in the morning for the weekend
he's been off work all week but I've not seen him since Saturday as he's been "busy"
he was meant to come last night but cancelled as his ex threatened if he didn't have his son while she went drinking he wouldn't be seeing him again
so hes coming tonight ive spoken to him a few times today and he's just so angry all the time bites my head off for the smallest thing
the only thing I have done today is say oh probably in a bit of a dissapointed voice when he said he had to go and see his mum at 8 so no idea when he will get here...infact his words were ill be there when I'm there stop putting pressure on me ( I havent seen him all week! )
he's bringing a takeaway so I guess he will call when he's there to ask what I want but he has literally bit my head off in every single conversation today!
I said are you going to be in a better mood or be nice when you get here, I didn't mean it to be patronising I just wanted a heads up and his reply was yeah if u do this this and this and don't do this or this
surely there shouldn't be so many rules for someone to just be kind???
I have no idea why he's so angry/nasty atm

OP posts:
Original poster
mumto3beautys · 08/04/2015 22:17

I'm not going to its just creepy! The msgs are getting more and more bizarre/depressive/unhinged etc
ive been with some weirdos but he really takes the biscuit!

OP posts:
ShipwreckedAndComatose · 08/04/2015 22:17

Yes, he's trying to get a response from you. I reckon it'll get more weird..

Original poster
mumto3beautys · 08/04/2015 22:20

oh god I'm scared now! z

OP posts:
TendonQueen · 08/04/2015 22:20

Attention seeking. I would turn your phone off to be honest as I wouldn't be surprised if he progresses to ringing, and it'll be another weird call if he does. Really best to just duck the whole thing.

ptumbi · 08/04/2015 22:22

So he's at the 'suicide threats 'already? Or nearly...

cozietoesie · 08/04/2015 22:22

No need to be scared. He's probably sitting eating chips while he's messaging.

43percentburnt · 08/04/2015 22:26

What cozie said.

I actually gave him a bit more credit then suicide threats so early on. I thought he might get angry first, with a flouncy fuck you text.

Mums he's being boringly predictable.

43percentburnt · 08/04/2015 22:28

(Ok not exactly suicide threats but on the same line - woah is me, I am so awful, nobody loves me, I'm sooo undeserving, life's not worth living).

Original poster
mumto3beautys · 08/04/2015 22:28

I'm not gonna turn my phone off as im occupying myself on here and looking on web etc but I will ignore....and yeah nearly the suicidal crap although no direct threats just about how crap his life is
hes left me an answerphone msg too....its beyond weird! hes like having a proper conversation with me I guess but obv its just my answerphone
stuff about hes bored of life, depressed....and then laughing his head off saying nah im not really just pissed off....and then back to how his life is a joke I'm better off without him infact the whole world is better off without him
it gave me goosebumps listening to it NOT coz I'm worried about him just coz the rapid dramatic mood swings are really creepy
do u think he has some underlying psychological issues? that is not meant flippantly btw or me slagging him off its a serious question!

OP posts:
Original poster
mumto3beautys · 08/04/2015 22:28

I'm not gonna turn my phone off as im occupying myself on here and looking on web etc but I will ignore....and yeah nearly the suicidal crap although no direct threats just about how crap his life is
hes left me an answerphone msg too....its beyond weird! hes like having a proper conversation with me I guess but obv its just my answerphone
stuff about hes bored of life, depressed....and then laughing his head off saying nah im not really just pissed off....and then back to how his life is a joke I'm better off without him infact the whole world is better off without him
it gave me goosebumps listening to it NOT coz I'm worried about him just coz the rapid dramatic mood swings are really creepy
do u think he has some underlying psychological issues? that is not meant flippantly btw or me slagging him off its a serious question!

OP posts:
Charley50 · 08/04/2015 22:29

Lol Cozie

cafesociety · 08/04/2015 22:30

Don't react, don't answer, turn your phone off. The moment you respond he has won control back.
He is playing mind games, and yes he is weird.

HellRunner · 08/04/2015 22:31

OP why are you playing this game with him?? You have realised he treats you like s£@& and has no intention of changing - why prolong it unless you are actually delusional enough to think you can change him. Seriously just get rid. He does not care for you and never will, oh and report him to RSPCA whilst youre at it.

TendonQueen · 08/04/2015 22:32

OK, but just bear in mind he may keep this up and bother you for a while. I would consider putting it on silent at least so he can't wake you up with 'suicidal' ramblings at 1.30am.

Original poster
mumto3beautys · 08/04/2015 22:32

I wont react dont worry....was just updating on how the not speaking to him is going

OP posts:
cafesociety · 08/04/2015 22:34

Ok, I see why you have your phone on. You are being strong and seeing who he really is. He tries every trick in the book doesn't he. The thing to do is keep ignoring...you're doing well.

Original poster
mumto3beautys · 08/04/2015 22:34

yes will def put it on silent when I go to bed! God knows what creepy crap ill wake up to tomorrow morning....hopefully nothing although maybe that will worry me more that he has come unhinged!

OP posts:
Original poster
mumto3beautys · 08/04/2015 22:38

before I say this let me confirm I will not do it! but god its so tempting to reply saying yes u are a complete twat and waste of everyones time I'm glad uve finally realised.....he doesnt feel guilty hes such a bad person at all! hes wallowing in self pity and like uve all said desperate for me to say no ur not I love u so then hes regained control

OP posts:
cozietoesie · 08/04/2015 22:38

You're starting to 'see' him now, I think? Is this a person that you can bear to have around you any more?

43percentburnt · 08/04/2015 22:39

The whole world is better off without him. He doesn't think that, he wants you to call him. 'Oh dp you poor thing, course I love you etc'. He wants his ego stroking. Then he'll ignore your next what's app message.

Go through this thread and your texts - note how his mood changes to manipulate you. He chooses to do this. He thinks he is a catch.

He mistreats animals, the way people treat animals says a lot about their character. (My dh lures the local cats in for cuddles - I find incriminating fur - but I like the way he is kind to them and the fact they sit near the door waiting for him).

43percentburnt · 08/04/2015 22:44

Underlying psychological issues? Nah He is throwing all his tricks at the wall. Nice, weird, depressed. Angry is coming - watch out for it.

Google narcissist. See any similarities?

pocketsaviour · 08/04/2015 22:45

mumto3 if he does come straight out and say "I'm ending my life" or "I'm taking an overdose" then don't reply but call 101 and tell them. (This is what Samaritans advise everyone to do - not just ones with shit boyfriends.)

He'll be ever so embarrassed when the police/ambulance service burst into his place and find him sitting on the settee in his pants watching Dave. They will give him a nice little lecture about wasting resources and he'll know not to try that again.

Original poster
mumto3beautys · 08/04/2015 22:56

im actually glad hes acting like this as each msg that creeps me out makes me even less inclined to answer
whereas a couple of weeks ago id now be ringing his phone and house phone panicking if he was ok or not

OP posts:
Original poster
mumto3beautys · 08/04/2015 22:58

@pocketsaviour that little mental image really made me chuckle :) x

OP posts:
CharlotteCollins · 08/04/2015 23:01

You have come a long way in a very short time, OP. You can rightly feel proud of yourself for that.