HOBBIT'S BAR - still finding it hard to move on...part 4

[WellWhoKnew]

If you are struggling to come to terms with the ending of your marriage, no matter how that came about, this is the place where you come to say SHIT THIS IS HARD, when you hit those times of despair.

It is the place where it is never rude to interrupt if you're having a bad day and need to vent. No matter what.

The bar, owned by Hobbit, but run by committee, is open to all as we wind our way through divorce, come to terms with our individual circumstances, or just cope with adjusting to a new life.

My name is WellWhoKnew (known here as everyone's bloody mother!). I was suddenly abandoned nearly eleven months ago. I've just had the final hearing (finished five days ago) and I am now officially an ex-wife. I now have to start making plans for a very different future than I ever imagined, which includes moving home, getting a job, and leaving the deadwood behind.

It is the place where the only thing anyone will tell you to do is keep on, keeping on.

Part three

Part two

Part one

Is that actually your gaff Hobbit with the wine on the mantlepiece and the star thing with the lights on as per the pic?

If so if looks very stylish (says she looking around at her bit of a shithole work area)

Yeah, it's my gaff , stylish cow me!

Font if you do set up that twitter account let me know! I'm a twitterer and will give you a follow!

Hobbit oooerr so you also live in a mansion with wine and mantlepieces.

Having a little bit of a wobble today but I have resolved to sort myself out so I'm sticking to that!! Yup! I can't let that bastard determine who I am or who I will be and he will not affect me!

I am now going to try and take a photo (half-pissed) of my work arena shithole and post it.

Bear with, bear with ....

Ground control to Major Tom.

If this works .. you will be seeing a picture of me desktop (with certain items strategically placed by way of subliminal mis-en-scene. The vino of course is centre stage.

Why not post a pic of your beverage, alcoholic or otherwise? At the very least it helps improve IT skills.

ok, here goes.

Hold the front page, I have now done TWO roast dinners in the space of four months. That is more than I did in the last ten years or so. We had beef. Well, more beefburgers by the thickness of the meat, I've not quite got the hang of carving...

Tabby in time, when DS gets past his Kevin phase, you will be able to do these occasions as suits you. For me, I used to do all the preps anyway, and he did the cooking, so it's not so different.

Font Twitter would be good. Green likes to follow Twittwoo and pick up useful info, don't ya, Green? [tbugreen]

Hobbit well said. Swearing and getting it out of your system doesn't NOT make you any less of a lady. It makes you a real person. People who suppress their emotions about such things don't properly heal, and become bitter. They call it dignity. The rest of us call it suppressed.

Are we now playing "Through The Keyhole"? I like having a mooch at other people's homes. I should have been an estate agent. Not too late, I suppose. I will have to learn how to bullshit of course. Any twunts tuning in today, please PM with tips.

Anyone else, either have a good day, or it's just another day done.

I would join you in an Izzietini except I forgot to put wine in the fridge.....

Jess I think I need another dog like you. My last dog was a madam, used to go for all visitors. Small dog, big attitude. The others, the labs and retriever, were fine. Anyway, there's this twat that comes round occasionally.......

Ooh Font what is that card? And that prism?

I have recently joined twitter in my 'other' guise!

For someone as pragmatic, no-nonsense and down to earth as me, some of you might be surprised.

I actually surprise myself in this regard to be honest, but I can't argue with it. I've tried, I've reasoned, I've gone down the scientific route ...

A clue is in the picture I have just posted.

The only person I can think of on here who might be inclined to 'follow me' would be a certain Mrs C, but you would have to scroll back through her thread to find out why.

Nah, not a mansion, once my love, just a cottage in the arse end of nowhere!
I do have wine though!

Font you don't do woo do ha? Will you do me?

Got back. Feel better - listened to the songs. His Royal Twuntness is having his afternoon nap. We are still in same bed, I do his washing, cooking, everything in fact - no sex obviously though (shudder) in order for my DS2 to get through the next few months without thinking his world is coming crashing down around him. Perhaps I'm being over protective. My mum thinks the DCs will surprise me with their resilience. The older 2 are 19 and 21 but I read somewhere that adult children can really suffer when their parents divorce and think that their childhood was in fact a sham. Has that been anyone's experience in reality? Every day is a massive effort - as you ladies are all too aware. We have a spare room and I often head off there for a few hours when I can't sleep. I have promised myself that next Easter will be totally different. I have had a great time with the kids though. Life is so much easier when he's not home.

Anyway, if you want a laugh, when OH alias HRT - good name?? - deigned to come home, he slipped on something that a teenager had probably spilt on the kitchen floor. He fell into and broke our vegetable rack. Didn't improve his mood. I said that karma was obviously alive and well in our house despite it being Easter. Of course, if I'd brought the DCs up properly they'd have learnt to clear up after themselves......

Chicken about to go into oven and it must be wine time. Hopefully HRT will sleep peacefully for a while yet. He is literally becoming a stranger. Have a lovely evening all x

I would give my right arm and a night with Poldark to be back in the arse end of nowhere in a cottage, in God's own country ..... cue crowd belting out Mae Hen Wlad at the rugby.

Patriotic arm waving weeping Welsh woman exiled in England at present, collapsing in heap of wine soaked emotion ...

You are one lucky woman Hobbit with your mantlepiece and stylish lighty starry type thing in Welsh Wales.

I'm in a shitty 70s terrace darn sarf in the so-called 'posh' part of the island where all the dosh is (you try living here, expensive as hell, gridlocked roads, busting at the seams and infrastructure crumbling under the sheer weight of people).

I do have wine though and an offy across the road if further supplies are required

1 hahaha

Font yeah it is, isn't it? MrsC had her cards read. That last post of yours sounded like WWK

Yes I want someone to do cards for me, anything like that.

Darn Sarf is great for amenities. Erm.......

What makes me laugh is that someone I work with comes from the area where the holiday home is. He can't fathom out why I want to be where he comes from, and I can't fathom out why he prefers it here.

Font you don't do woo do ha? Will you do me?

No my darling, I don't do woo.

I don't do fakes, frauds and charlatans or bullshit or ripoffs.

I don't do 'clairvoyants' and 'psychics' and anything of that ilk. And I am hugely sceptical of all of that, which is what makes something I do do, not really sit well with my whole philosophy on life.

I have no more powers than a table top, but I do do something which started out as an interest in the aesthetics and imagery (I'm an artist by profession) then moved on to the history and origins, but then I took it one step further and started 'messing about' with it. What I discovered has ripped my scepticism and cynicism to shreds. Where the answer lies I think is somewhere between Jung's theory of Synchronicity and Quantum mechanics. There has to be some kind of explanation for how it works, because work it most certainly does. What I know myself through years of note taking and the feedback I get, is too convincing for me to be able to dismiss it.

Then a friend said to me, 'you need to set aside your inate scepticism and how you think things 'should' be in the logical, scientific world, and try and cultivate an open mind' ... so that's what I try to do.

I continue to study it on a daily basis and have a book manuscript written and ready to go. I'm also working with another artist on a new 'set of images' if you catch my drift. It's something for my old age ...

I can 'do you' (and anyone else here who wants 'doing') but you will need to PM me and it may take time as I also have a living to earn.

This other thing is a hobby and an interest. Something I do when I'm not working. That may change somewhere down the line I don't know, but if anyone wants 'to be done' - pm me.

I'm intrigued. And confused. Woman of very little brain. I looked up one of the things on Wiki, font of all knowledge but I clearly need to read it all veeery slowly....

My little one told me this morning that daddys friend was there yesterday. I asked my eldest and she swore that they didn't see her.

The next thing I know my eldest has thrown a glass at the wall and cut her hand picking it up. She was sobbing.

I've been trying to talk to her all day but she's shut me out. She said that she liked the OW and was so spiteful to me. I don't understand what I have ever done to deserve this.

I tried to explain to her that it was ok for her to like the OW but it still upset me at the moment. Especially after the OW accusing me of harassment Friday night - bitch).

In a weak moment I emailled him and said that he had agreed that the OW wouldn't be introduced yet. His reponse was ....it was a chance meeting...It wasn't pre planned. Had * been uncomfortable with it, we wouldn't have met up albeit briefly.

OMG...does he think I'm thick. He just said that it was a chance meeting then contradicted himself. The man is a twat.

He then went on to say..."What would benefit them and us is for me to collect from the house without any issues. You know it makes sense".

Exactly what planet is this monkey on. He's got a court order to pick them up from a specific public place.

I can only hope for an act of god to stop these two arse holes.

Font I don't do fakes, frauds and charlatans or bullshit or ripoffs

I guess you're not in the market for my ex then?

Nothing to be confused about.

I'm a closed minded cynical sceptic who thinks all woo is bullshit.

As an artist I developed an interest in a certain set of cards (thousands of versions). The interest was purely aesthetic / artistic.

Then, as a bit of a history buff I looked into the origins and started to get really interested, dispelling a few myths and lots of bullshit along the way.

Then I started 'messng about' for want of a better description into the 'woo' aspects of these lovely pieces of art.

Then I started 'reading' for myself.

Then I started 'reading' for friends, as a bit of a laugh.

Then I started thinking 'there's something in this' which didn't sit well with my sceptical nature. And I've been doing battle with that for the past couple of years.

Then friends said 'stop being so dismissive and keep an open mind' which I have been trying to do. I went out and did a bit of 'research' and some of it confirmed that yes indeed, there is more to this than meets the eye, and some of it confirms there are an awful lot of scam artist, fakes, frauds and charlatans out there and there is no way I want to be associated with any of that.

I am a student of this particular subject. I've studied and researched it in the same way as I would approach any subject. It fascinates me. I've kept copious notes about it which is potentially the basis of a book.

I'm happy to 'do' anyone, but it won't be based on 'woo' it will be based on scholarly interpretation.

for you whyme2014

"Sorry, no apologies for swearing on this thread" Hobbit there's a word for that but my spaghetti-head can't think of it!

"Why does everyone bar me live in a decent place" sorry Izzie but you're in a 125 (at last count?) room mansion, all freshly painted and renovated by your own fair gnarly hands so you can't complain

So that's just me and Font in terraces (not sure which decade mine is from)

1 HRT - very good!

Yup I'm looking forward to Poldark tonight too.

Lunch went ok - didn't think much of the turkey You would never know that once upon a time I was a Cordon Bleu chef. After years of criticism I now just throw it all together and it comes out...or not (there's always chocolate!)

Font you'd give up a night with Poldark? The memories of that would make up for living in a shithole for quite some time. But then I'm in a naice countryside sort of area me.

1 start thinking of excuses to get yourself into that spare room he's pissing me off probably getting his ego stroked by OW and getting his home comforts at the same time and still expects you to sort his bloody socks.

Why of course it's upset you. It makes me wonder what has been said to DD to make her act as she has. As for him, anything to get at you, as usual. I would see how DD is after this. Are you still seeing people about her? If so, I think you need to bring this up. They may have a good angle on it, and whether it would/should have any bearing re future contact. And as usual, keep evidence on him. The recent incident re contact, plus the email response for starters.

whyme how horrid for you. It's really tough on your DC as they are probably being told not to tell you anything so are being pushed and pulled at the moment. Of course they will react by getting stroppy or shutting you out as they don'y know what to say. I feel for you, I really do.

All I can say is they are obviously not reasonable people and won't accept reasonable suggestions so detach, detach and detach some more, and concentrate on keeping things on an even keel for your kids.

Thanks girls. Don't know what I'd do without you all. Even if I don't post much as the moment I do read everything and you all have my greatest respect and admiration for dealing with this shit everyday.

I've tried to get my eldest counselling but she will not accept it. I think I need to try harder.

I'm going to email my solicitor about everything that has happened this weekend. Can't see him on Tuesday as I've got to go to a separated parents course - order by the court...he's got to go as well.

Currently listening to Cher Strong Enough. Listened to this when he walked out on me before in the 90's.

Why

www.youtube.com/watch?v=2W30ZbscYTc