HOBBIT'S BAR - still finding it hard to move on...part 4

[WellWhoKnew]

If you are struggling to come to terms with the ending of your marriage, no matter how that came about, this is the place where you come to say SHIT THIS IS HARD, when you hit those times of despair.

It is the place where it is never rude to interrupt if you're having a bad day and need to vent. No matter what.

The bar, owned by Hobbit, but run by committee, is open to all as we wind our way through divorce, come to terms with our individual circumstances, or just cope with adjusting to a new life.

My name is WellWhoKnew (known here as everyone's bloody mother!). I was suddenly abandoned nearly eleven months ago. I've just had the final hearing (finished five days ago) and I am now officially an ex-wife. I now have to start making plans for a very different future than I ever imagined, which includes moving home, getting a job, and leaving the deadwood behind.

It is the place where the only thing anyone will tell you to do is keep on, keeping on.

Part three

Part two

Part one

Hi Bobs < waves at Bobsy> dinner sounds good, be over in a jiffy!
We're having an American theme night tonight, burgers and corn and such, watching a movie, an Izzietini or five, perfect.

Yep, I'm with you on the sock nemesis front, I even bought all black, so they couldn't get mixed up, turns out they just go different shades of black!

Oooh is it time for wine? Hobbit's started the ball rolling. Having said that, will the turkey make it to the table if I start now? silly me we don't have a table, so perhaps just a small glass no emoticon for wine with ears?

Hi Hobbit

Hobbit cheque is in the post. Anything like this will do.....

If you think I'm risking life and limb to get Jess in a get up like that you're very much mistaken lady!

There's not enough biscuits in the world for that risk assessment

On me tod at the moment, both sons out with friends, pondering a bit I must admit, snap me out of it ladies,

Think I'll take Jess for a walk, see ya laterzzzz... X

"No one puts Hobbit in the corner!" That gave me a chuckle! And would just like to say that I'm loving our new mascot!

This is my 'on repeat' song for the day:

Aahhhh, Once my love, I luffs that song, dancing round the kitchen with Jess now, she's not impressed, keeps trying to bite me, she is a mardy bitch, < wonder where she gets that from> ......

You ladies are literally life savers and I'm not exaggerating. Had an upset with Twunt1 who arrived home in a foul mood having looked as if he slept in his car! Not going to ruin Easter and so am heading off to cry and walk dog - who is fast turning into the fittest dog in the neighbourhood. Enjoy sunshine all.

Tell him to fuck off to the far side of fuck, and then fuck off some more, 1 my love, Hobbits turning green again,

Hello, lovely, fragrant, WWK, how's ya doin' ?
Am absolutely bricking it about mediation, but then I think he will be as well.
At least I'll get a bit of a chance to get a dig in, all in a very cool, calm and collected way of course, < she says hopefully>

It's ok tho' Bobs has got my steel balls ready, with a harness and everything, what can possibly go wrong?

Tell him to fuck off to the far side of fuck, and then fuck off some more,

DJ Izzie steps up.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=6WZNyxo1fgQ

Haven't read latest posts but saw that on the threads being watched page

Can I just say I hate special days. I hardly ever cry any more but I always do on celebration days. My ex used to make a big fuss, lots of presents, made DS get presents for me, made a nice meal. Now DS doesn't give a shit. My wider family try to make things nice for me bless them but I hate seeing other intact families having a lovely time and hearing about how their teenagers make a wonderful effort for them. Sorry to bring the mood down.

Agree Hobbit, Twunt1 goes away, at his own instigation, and comes home to the family getting on with stuff and decides to have a strop? Next Easter, ali, you will be having a good Easter with no fear of Melodramatic Man interrupting the pleasant family atmosphere you have created.

Hobbit I think the first mediation is going to be the most difficult one. Of course, you're scared, who the hell wouldn't be? I think you're more in the driving seat than you realise. Go in with a 'I'm here to mediate but I'm not going to be hurried or bamboozled into anything today' attitude. Don't expect anything to be agreed in the first session. And remember the utter fact about all negotiation: Nothing is agreed until everything is agreed. You can change your mind at any time on any issue.

I'm doing okay, thanks for asking. Decided to just 'chill out' about things because I'm sick of migraines (had two in the last fortnight) and I haven't suffered with them hardly at all over the years. I'm just having a 'meh' day - which is nice where I refuse to worry about the future and enjoy prevaricating, which oddly, means getting my house clean (normally I prevaricate about doing that too!)...

0k so, this one is for All of us having a tiny wobble today, even withstanding chocolate and dogs in bunny ears[https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Fo0D0O-YMXA

Tabby you're not bringing the mood down, you're stating how you feel. You're in a really difficult time right now, going into a final hearing, dealing with fuckwittery and a moody teen. THIS SHIT IS HARD.

You know this 'time' won't last forever but it's a real slog to get through. And it can only be done one day at a time, celebration days included. Once litigation hell is over for you, after the initial crash (I'm going to assume you get one too) you'll be in a position to make real proper personal plans that mean something to you.

At the moment you're still dealing with the remains of the marriage so it's a tough time for everyone, and it's so hard to believe that it will ever be different. Next year is a long time away yet, but next year it won't be dealing with the divorce, but arranging your life the way YOU want it.

Have a bloody good cry, feel as sorry for yourself as you want, then give up on today, and tomorrow try again. I find my own mental health radically improves when I allow myself time to be 'grinch' and then say 'fuck it' and find something I want to do.

Such a pretty tune and such a heartfelt statement!
And remember we do have an election coming up as well!
Ok so, Fuck You BNP as well as our collection of twunts!

Sorry, no apologies for swearing on this thread, if you don't like it you can go elsewhere, and don't tell us that to hate is a negative emotion, if I need to hate someone who has treated me appallingly I will, he didn't need to do that me, he chose to, and is continuing to put me through hell.

I will get over it eventually, and maybe in the dim and distant future I won't hate the pair of them for what they've done, but that's my choice, no one else's, because it's my life, and my sons future I'm fighting for here. We
We are all different, and all process things and react in various ways, so just respect that fact and don't judge anyone by your own views. Rant over, :)

Right girls ... I'm on the vino and working

Should be interesting!

I've been stuck in front of this bloody computer working all weekend so far. Just went to pick the daughter up and everyone's out and about enjoying the holiday sitting out front of the seafront bars, cycling along the prom, I even saw some proper Mods like back in the day, on the scooters with the Parka jackets and all the insignia. I'm like the bloody hermit stuck in the flamin house working as per!

So I've come home, put on some lunch and have just cracked open a bottle. I can't stop working unfortunately (deadlines to meet) but I can have some fun while I'm doing it.

Hic!

Why does everyone bar me live in a decent place? Mountains or sea.....

Fucking suburbia

Last year I cried at Easter as well, and birthday and Mother's Day. If only I could banish all special days then I wouldn't have any hopes to be dashed. I've cracked open my first Easter egg. Supposed to be going out again but can't face it right now.

1 do you have to still share a bedroom with him? That limbo when you think they're having an affair but can't quite prove it is awful and distancing yourself as much as you can will help your self esteem if nothing else. I know you want to protect the kids for a couple more months but you could maybe say his snoring is keeping you awake or some similar excuse to sleep in a spare room if you have one, thats what I did, just a thought.

Thanks WWK yes I will have lots of plans to make once the divorce is over and I will finally know where I stand with finances, house etc. Theres lots of things I'd like to do which are difficult or impossible as a single mum so they remain distant plans. Yes tomorrow will be better. This evening might be bearable if I get myself organised with wine and Poldark.

WINE AND POLDARK

Sounds like the perfect night for me. I can't hardly take me eyes off the screen when he's on there, the 31 year old luscious gorgeous mesmerising young whippersnapper that he is!

It's been a long time since I've literally dribbled watching someone onscreen. Paul Newman back in the day maybe, or me other heartthrob. Another Aidan funny enough.

Aidan Quinn.

Oooohhhh... Poldark, < clutches bosom> Aidan Turner is a magnificent specimen of manhood, eh Ladies? I DEFINATELY would

I'm thinking of setting up a twitter account #askfont where I post life-enhancing, motivational, inspirational, spirit affirming (you get the gist) quotes such as

Don't fuck about, kick him out

or

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a pair of fishnet tights
(think about it )

or

who needs a bloke messing up their head, when you can mumsnet instead and starfish in bed?

that last one needs a bit of work

I'm with ya Font but luckily for me I'm not working till tomorrow, enjoy!