Just what do you have against marriage?

[DumbledoresGirl]

All you girls who are thinking of getting married after YorkieGirl's advice but just can't bring yourself to do it, or are only doing it because of the legal implications, please explain to me, what have you got against marriage? I won't agree with you, but I would love to understand more about your reasoning.

And again we agree DG!

sally I agree with you 100%

In fact thinking about it, we have a joint account and a 'my' account, so prehaps he is nore down troden than I am

but those are just the legal terms for a male who is married to a female and then a female who is married to a male. it's like 'spouse' is a legal kind of a word no one really uses. i never say 'ooh my spouse and i..' so just don't ever say 'my husband and i' or whatever.

If you object to the word wife, I wonder how you can swallow the word woman.

i feel the pro marriage squad err towards s
sounding so self righteous.
I have friends who say things to me like' oh are they actually married?' as if it makes an iota of difference.
I have been with my dp for 16 years.
we have 5 children
we are not married. Yes he is the man i 'want to spend the rest of my life with' yes i thought that 16 years ago.
I resent the fact that our relationship is somehow viewed as leeser than those who have a chit of paper to 'prove' their love

it;s not a sheet of paper to prove your love for one another it's a legal contract, not much to do with love at all.

I once workde in a very 'Right On' university department which used to send out invites to You and your SOLIC.....Spouse or Live In Companion

sweet!

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Nah rottenotter, you might want to go and read yorkiegirl's thread first, which is what prompted this thread.

Do you object to the piece of paper that proves you legally own your house? If legal pieces of paper are to be frowned on, I assume you live in a squat?

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my dp has a will

but pruni the whole getting married bit is what gives you those rights. signing the marriage certificate is the contract that gets you the rights. so if you want the rights get married. that's the whole point.

pruni, bint derives from 'Mother of'

DG a house is an object which needs a legal owner

I am not

You are wrong. You DO have to say things in a civil partnership. It is just marriage. And all the gay couples I know call it a marriage. It is only the straight couples who seem squeamish about it. I don't think it is better. I have lived with people and I've married one. It is, however, different legally, and for me, emotionally, because I chose it to be. You can choose it to be whatever you want. As others have said, legally you are a 'spinster' but I bet you don't think of yourself as one. I love that word though!

If you don't want 'legal interference' in your life, I presume you don't want any legal interference in your right to, say, financial support if you split, a say in what happens to your husband's body and property if he dies etc? That's 'legal interference'.

I'm happy to be a spinster

doesn't bother me at all

No F&Z you took the analogy too far. i did not mean the marriage certificate makes you someones property, but it does give you rights, as a house deed gives you rights of ownership over that house.

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That is the one

Actually we do it to save more effectivly.

When we got married dh was 100% well....he is just like white goods, we hit the 10 year mark and he started to fall apart

hay ho.

We could all take a trip back to my uber feminist days and call ourselved womben I suppse

I was, and still am, a feminist BTW.

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but getting married is so much more fun that writing a will{grin] Please, really it is! Contemplatinga life together is just some much more darned fun than planning the disposal of your goods after death!

We had wine and everything! And people laughed and gave us gifts and best wishes.

I can't remeber any of that when I signed my will.....I opbviously missed a trick there

agree with you there pruni. it should be just a case of signing the 'contract,' as it is in a lot of countries. the ceremony and words etc should just be for those who want all that.