does my boyf love me???? poss tmi!

[wallawalla74]

hi
ive been with my boyf 18 months weve been thru ups and downs external issues wise but generally weve managed to keep it on the straight n narrow and I love him so much but ive been having a drink with a friend tonight and shes told me some home truths, sorry if tmi! my boyf never does anything to initiate sex ( although is up for it if I do ) and then never does any kind for my pleasure ( sexual wise...trying to be polite ) although I make massive amounts of effort for him he does nothing back and I mean nothing!!! he thinks he's king dong or something as prevoiusly ive given him compliments sexually wise but we all know ladies its not all about size!!! This sounds so trivial but is a massive deal breaker as he's so sexually selfish and makes me feel repulsive....Please help me...
thank you x

You haven't taken a perfectly normal man and created a monster OP. His ego was like this anyway.
You didn't create him, he's been this way for a long time.
There will be a long list of people before and after you who have tried to build a relationship with him only to find its was so one sided it felt like they were dashing themselves against rocks.
This is just who he is, you can't change that. He isn't compatible with you as you need more than he can offer (a stone needs more than he can offer). Move on, let him go and find someone you can build a more equal partnership with rather than wasting more of your investment (precious time) on him.

he just phoned to say hes on his way for his tea ( not sure y I answered ) but I just said read your text!

Are you both in your 20s?

no 30s actually

If he knocks on your door just don't answer it. Don't even acknowledge it.

I think you need to text him again to make it quite clear that he is not welcome tonight or ever, and you won't be answering the door if he does turn up

Stop texting him. Call him back and tell him to fuck off back the way he came.

What do your children think of him? Well done on not seeing him tonight!

my kids like him actually and are always asking when can he come over again they think he's funny

I won't answer the door I'm nodding off with my daughter on the sofa already I was up v.late last night drinking with my friend so feeling rough today

That's because he keeps the mask on for them. They don't know your the inner workings of your relationship and if they knew how he treated you they'd much rather their mum be happy than hang around some bloke who's kind of funny but treats their mum like shit.

Listen to your friend and the chorus of wisdom here. You deserve better. And drinking so much that you feel rough the next day is not a sensible thing to do if you are in sole charge of children. Ever.

You took control and he doesn't like it - no better way to get a response from him!!

Please, please stay strong. You will answer the door, you are waiting for affection from him. If he offers it tonight, you will take it and think he's worth your time. He isn't.

clippity - give her a break, she feels a little rough from a few drinks - she's not an alcoholic.

Perspective please

@clippityclop.. I was on a v.rare night out 1st one in about a year I think Im entitled to that even if I am a mum arent I? my children havent suffered from me feeling tired all day

I think he'll end up making such a fuss at the door that you let him in to try and keep the kids from being upset. Please just tell him to go away and call the police if he won't.

Your text was completely transparent - if you convince me that you genuinely love me (despite the fuckload of evidence to the contrary) as you have in the past, I will let you back in. Please just say no and mean it. No more passive aggressive texting - just no.

Listen to handfulofcottonbuds - sound's as though she knows what she is talking about.

Stay strong - he's a self obsessed numpty and you don't need what you are reading as affection from him. By all means, bawl and cry and sing your heart out to Gloria Gaynor...While doing so - keep at the front of your mind at all times that he is not making you feel good about yourself.

Anybody who cares about you will enhance your life. You simply have to believe in your own worth.

Indeed. A relationship should enhance your life. Not make you feel like shit and doubt yourself all the time.

we set our own standards for how we are treated, this is an easy ltb for me [hugs]

ive just recieved a msg saying can I put dinner on hold for a bit as hes had to turn around coz his mate phoned and asked for a lift somewhere! I'm so glad I'm not cooking now! its soooo bizarre that he thinks this is acceptable
I have reiterated what I said before and put take all the time in the world I'm going to bed

What does that mean - you've told him he can come round whenever? Why not tell him not to come round?

No I said he has all the time in the world to piss around with his mate as I'm off to bed

When I first joined this site seeking advice on how to cope with my STBXH.....I was told by someone I have grown to respect, to tell him to (excuse the language) fuck off to the far side of fuck and when he gets there to fuck off some more.

I always remember that.

You are worth more. Be clear to him that it's over if that's what you want.

what id really like is for him to treat me with some respect but I don't think thats going to happen is it unfortunately

No. It isn't.