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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

does my boyf love me???? poss tmi!

245 replies

wallawalla74 · 14/03/2015 02:31

hi
ive been with my boyf 18 months weve been thru ups and downs external issues wise but generally weve managed to keep it on the straight n narrow and I love him so much but ive been having a drink with a friend tonight and shes told me some home truths, sorry if tmi! my boyf never does anything to initiate sex ( although is up for it if I do ) and then never does any kind for my pleasure ( sexual wise...trying to be polite ) although I make massive amounts of effort for him he does nothing back and I mean nothing!!! he thinks he's king dong or something as prevoiusly ive given him compliments sexually wise but we all know ladies its not all about size!!! This sounds so trivial but is a massive deal breaker as he's so sexually selfish and makes me feel repulsive....Please help me...
thank you x

OP posts:
Boreoff456 · 14/03/2015 18:06

Not usually one for saying this...but LTB.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 14/03/2015 18:08

No to that message, just tell him its over and not to contact you again. You do not have to further lower yourself to his base level. Apart from anything else he is a rotten example to your children.

He's a user and rotten as a cocklodger; such men also target single mums because they think that they are so desperate for any male company that they would put up with any old rubbish. That is what he really thinks of you; you're worth nothing to him.

Love your own self for a change and concentrate your energies on both your children and rebuilding your self worth.

expatinscotland · 14/03/2015 18:09

Don't play games, that's what teenagers do.

'This relationship has gone about as far as it's going to go for me. It's time for me to move on. Don't bother contacting me again. Bye now.'

Do the Freedom Programme and learn to stay away from losers like this.

supersop60 · 14/03/2015 18:11

If it's hard work after only 18 months, it isn't love. Get rid. Brew

ShipwreckedAndComatose · 14/03/2015 18:15

Yes, cancel the meal, enjoy your family and LTB

Original poster
wallawalla74 · 14/03/2015 18:15

I do want to see him, I'm not sure why? In the hope he will be nice I guess

OP posts:
Branleuse · 14/03/2015 18:16

He thinks hes got a big dick, but he IS a big dick.

Rather you than me. He sounds boring and rude.

expatinscotland · 14/03/2015 18:18

'I do want to see him, I'm not sure why? In the hope he will be nice I guess'

Do the Freedom Programme. You're on a hiding to nothing. Learn to break the cycle of allowing shite men into your life.

Your kids don't need to see you with a person like this.

Tobyjugg · 14/03/2015 18:19

I can only suggest you get rid of this total loser as soon as you can.

UnbelievableBollocks · 14/03/2015 18:19

Get some self respect and self esteem and get rid.

How desperate do you want to look? At the moment you're telling him that you're so desperate you'll service him in whatever way he wants without him doing anything in return. He's so clear about your desperation that he can make sure you know you're second choice to his night out, knowing you'll still feed him and blow him.

Is that who you want to be, as it's who you are at the moment.

ShipwreckedAndComatose · 14/03/2015 18:19

I do want to see him, I'm not sure why? In the hope he will be nice I guess

You deserve more than the possibility that he might be nice to you Sad

Original poster
wallawalla74 · 14/03/2015 18:21

ok I'm sorry I do realise how desperate and pathetic I sound :(

OP posts:
HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 14/03/2015 18:23

Good lord. Get rid. He is a wanker. Won't "let" you watch stuff on your own TV??? The more you write OP the more I get an image of an abusive twat in my head.

UnbelievableBollocks · 14/03/2015 18:23

If you realise it, then quit the sad faces and text him. "Don't come round tonight, or ever. It's over."

I may sound harsh, but patting your hand and going "there there what a bastard" won't fix a thing.

Original poster
wallawalla74 · 14/03/2015 18:24

I've spent loads on his dinner, trying to make an effort ii dont know why as he makes none no doubt he will stuff his face and then sit playing on his phone ignoring me its all so degrading! why say to someone you love them then treat them like this?

OP posts:
Original poster
wallawalla74 · 14/03/2015 18:26

ok sorry didn't mean to annoy anyone

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 14/03/2015 18:29

Because he doesn't give a shit about you, much less love you. Stop being so deluded. He doesn't care a toss about you. You're a convenient place to get fed, watered, watch what he likes on telly, get his dick sucked.

currentnameinuse · 14/03/2015 18:31

So tell him not to come over. He is not ever going to change - why do you think this is all you deserve?

DinoMight · 14/03/2015 18:32

You've not annoyed anyone, people are just trying to tell it to you straight so you waste no more time on this loser.

Original poster
wallawalla74 · 14/03/2015 18:34

thank you, it's not always like this sometimes he is nice but I put in far more effort than he does thats never changed, he says he's quit smoking today so that's why he's in a foul mood

OP posts:
MelonBallersAreStrange · 14/03/2015 18:35

why say to someone you love them then treat them like this?
Because the person is a bastard who has found a woman who will lie on the floor while he wipes his feet on her. He likes that. It makes him feel big.

its all so degrading
Yes it is. Why are you allowing yourself to be degraded?

Why are you still letting him come round tonight?

IfNotNowThenWhen · 14/03/2015 18:35

If it helps there are some nice men out there, but if you stay attached to losers who use you you won't be free enough in your mind to meet them.

MelonBallersAreStrange · 14/03/2015 18:35

he says he's quit smoking today so that's why he's in a foul mood

He should stay away from you until he is in a decent mood then.

Original poster
wallawalla74 · 14/03/2015 18:36

I didn't realise I was deluded just do love him and wish he would show love back rather than just saying love you

OP posts:
Original poster
wallawalla74 · 14/03/2015 18:37

maybe you're right it makes him feel big to make me feel worthless
thats very sad

OP posts: