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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Someone talk to me am I slowly losing it

580 replies

Smallbear86 · 13/03/2015 14:01

Right I can out of a marriage two years ago for the last 18 months I've been with someone else.
He worked away the first eight months of that we did all the introductions slowly with our children blah blah he's been home a year now. My ex husband cheated I caught him and was left alone with three boys aged 8months to six years at the time.
My new man hasn't moved in but stays most of the week he brings his children here two Girls every other wkend he's still got a room at his moms which he pays £90 a week for he is on good money.
I do struggle for money I work part time but everyday and don't earn much my out goings are high. My partner stays a lot eats at mine his kids eat there too. I never really ask for any money and he never offers me any he's really tight with money. My ex pays a small amount of CSA but I asked current partner would he lend me ten pounds on Thursday to buy some shoes for my youngest son as his were ruined his reply was im not here to supply your child with shoes.
Last week my car was off the road he was off work I asked if he could take me to the school which is a few miles away to collect the boys he said I don't like your kids in my car they ruin my car this was because of one incident where my middle son got mud on his seat.
This really upset me I started to walk to the school to which he followed me and told me to get in the car and later said sorry but it was already said.
If I ask for money he moans his head goes in a sulk and doesn't speak for an hour then says sorry a few hours later and offers it but this is rare that I ask because I know how he will react.
He got me a dog a few months ago which I didn't really want but it was going to end up in shelter if I didn't take him and the dog has kind of all been left to me and he even moans about buying the dog food and asked me for half towards the dog bed it was his friends dog!
He shouts at me for trivial things like he moans of my house is messy or if I do anything wrong like make mistakes or just anything really he calls me stupid and if I dare to question him or stand up to him he says he's going home and walks out and goes back to the room at his moms.

I walk on egg shells I just wonder where it's going and what's going to happen I do love him he has some good ways most people do but I feel so unsupported i struggle to buy food and clothe the boys I do not expect him to clothe my sons or anything like that but a small contribution to the house would mean so much but I daren't ask him.

I get so upset at the hurtful remarks the put downs and then he acts nice again or somehow I've ended up saying sorry!

He puts on a nice guy act for others he's good looking and a charmer everyone says he's always smiling but Behind closed doors I see the real side which makes me feel crazy everyone else loves him.

I'm scared of bein alone he does not really go out drinking much and he's good in other ways but I don't think he accepts the children like he says he does he has little time for them and often shouts at my middle one as he says he's annoying but I'm nothing but good to his daughters who can be annoying also but that's kids for you.

I cry most days I thought we would of moved in by now or he would support me more emotionally and finically like I said he is on a good wage. Am I asking to much I've changed so much I'm not me anymore.

Please don't judge me.

OP posts:
lbnblbnb · 20/03/2015 19:40

supersop60 your post came across as if you hadn't read the rest of the thread - the op is way past such advice.

cozietoesie · 20/03/2015 19:43

I suspect that it's just that people were a little surprised at your post because she'd realized his (lack of) qualities and left the twerp much earlier in the thread. Don't worry about it - it was a long thread and for anyone on eg the App, it would actually be quite difficult to read all the way through.

ironicman · 25/03/2015 22:02

So Smallbear. How goes it? Are you still aprt from him. It seems to have gone quiet!

Smallbear86 · 13/04/2015 13:30

Sorry about late reply difficulty remembering my password and getting back on here as my phone got damaged then I lost the thread so have a new phone now and found it again today and managed to get back in.
I had a lot of contact off hun promising to change he would change and sort himself out etc etc.
It's been so hard not to go back I have felt very lonely on my own but I haven't gone back to him.
I still have the dog the boys love him but he is going to be rehomed within the next week as i can't walk him everyday with the boys but their dad had them last week so I walked him everyday after work he's lovely better company than most humans but I can't care for him properly.

He will be going to a good home it's family friend who is having him.

It's been hard he got his sister on my case too I still do miss him but jn time I will see I was better off in the end I hope .

OP posts:
BeautyQueenFromMars · 13/04/2015 14:25

I'm glad to hear you're saying strong, Smallbear. Bloody well done! I know how hard it is - you're doing brilliantly.

I hope that you'll still get to see the dog regularly, if he's going to a family friend.

Keep it up lovely - it really is worth it Flowers

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