Dads new girlfriend is younger then me!!!!

[KattyKatty1991]

My dad is 40 years old and his new girlfriend is 22! He has been with her for a few months and only told me about it a week ago. The problem is not only how young she is but the fact shes younger then me! im 24 (dad had me very young). To say im creeped out would be an understatement. My dad has been in a few relationships over the years but hasnt really found the right partner even though his last relationship on and off lasted 3 years. Seems like he's now going through his midlife crisis. :( Should i tell him to leave her

@KattyKatty1991

Wow! You lot have really missed the point havent you. My stepmum is now younger then me!! I dont live with them but we all went out last saturday and it was weird watching my father show affection to a girl younger then me. There was a lot people rolling eyebrows around us as well. Its just really creepy and im going to defitnley have a word with him about it.

Surely she's his GF, not your StepMum? (It is creepy though)

It probably won't last, so grit your teeth until it ends.

Oh no it's a zombie

Is he still with her @KattyKatty1991

It's wrong that you think you can tell your dad who to date / who not to date. It is literally not your business.

You might not like it, but that is irrelevant (I'm sure there have been or are occasions when your dad didn't / won't like who you are dating.... if he told you to split up with them would you??)

It might be unusual, but there's nothing illegal or immoral about what he's doing. An 18 year age gap isn't so rare. The fact you are older than her is more down to the young age your dad had you than their age gap per se.

It may not work out, in which case she'll never be your step mum and you don't need to worry.

Please don't let this drive a wedge between you. It shouldn't affect your relationship with your dad.

Well, I've just found it and my situation is bloody new so... @Nale
Yes however you didn't start the thread posters will continue replying to the OP and won't notice you bumped it for advice unless they search for the resurrection culprit.
I'm sorry you're finding the situation difficult but starting your own thread would be a better idea than bumping.

I do understand how you feel as my stepmother is 17 years younger than my dad and they met when she was in her late 20s and I was in my late teens. However, it may not seem like it at your age but 40 is still young - not even officially into middle age - and so your dad’s new girlfriend may not ‘see’ his age if that makes any sense. Regardless, you can’t tell him who to have a relationship with. I would just try to be supportive and it will burn itself out relatively quickly if it’s not meant to be.

I’ve been in relationships with many older men. When I was 20 I started seeing a guy who was 45.. he was lovely, we were together for a few years. He was very handsome, sophisticated and just a god in the bedroom.
Then when I was 26 I was seeing a guy who was 49. I’ve always been attracted to older men. I’ve always been way older than my years though. Neither relationship lasted for various reasons but I’m still friendly with them both even though I’m 40 now.
I don’t have an issue with large age gaps between two consenting adults.

Completely agree with you OP. I’d feel creeped out too. I think your reaction is quite normal and understandable.

Ffs I’ve just realised how old this thread is.

He fathered a child when he was 16.

That leaves a much narrower age range for partners older than you. It’s hardly a massive age gap for mature people. She is a fully grown adult.

To be mercenary: if he marries her talk to him about a will. About leaving his share of their house to your kids not to her (but she could have a lifetime interest).

@Morgoth

Ffs I’ve just realised how old this thread is.

AAAARGH!

I wonder if they are still together?

Totally gross. Feel for you OP.

I don’t understand what she’s ‘using’ your dad for? I can’t think his lifestyle is going to be interesting or active enough for a 22 year old for long.

2 adults having a relationship. If it wasn't your Dad, it would unlikely creep you out. I don't judge people for things as simple as an age gap relationship. Life is for living. If they are happy, so beit

Zombie 🧟‍♂️🧟‍♀️🧟‍♂️🧟‍♀️

I think it’s creepy as hell and if a woman was dating a man younger than her own son, and her son was creeped out by it, she’d not get the same support your dad is getting on here to be honest.

Ugh! 🧟‍♀️

I can see why you would be upset, but not a lot you can do about it is there. You certainly can’t tell your dad what to do

@KattyKatty1991

Im not only creeped out but im worried that shes using dad. What would a 22 year old girl with her whole life ahead of her see in a 40 year old. His life basically is waking up, going to work, watching tv and then going to sleep. He rarely goes out so what does she see in him. They dont even have similar interests.

I agree it’s a creepy situation, I’d hate it too, but some young girls like older men, she doesn’t see him the way you do. She probably thinks he’s sophisticated, unlike the blokes her age blah blah blah. She won’t give a thought about what her life might be like in a few years time when he may have health problems and she’s in her prime. Problem is, you don’t have the right to say anything to your Dad, it won’t change anything if he really likes her.

No-one has missed the point; she's younger than you and it's pretty creepy. But there's eff all you can do about it, and you're ineffably silly to refer to her as your 'stepmum' 🙄

It is not your business to intervene, much as you don't like the idea. Just wait and see how everything pans out later..He is allowed to make his own choices, without people making comments about an age difference, and maybe personality differences etc etc.

Zombie!

My goodness you seem self involved! By all means talk to him but not one word of what you have said has been about him! Just your incomprehension that someone younger could find qualities in your caring generous father attractive . Maybe if you had more to go on (she treats him badly, doesn’t make him happy, takes advantage) I would understand but so far it’s basically just that you don’t like her age. I can see that it would be strange for you but since your father has you so young It’s perfectly possible that if he broke from this relationship the next one would be with someone of a similar age.

@Nale Told ye, they'll just keep coming.

What does she see in a 40 year old? 40 is not old for a start and maybe he is sexy as hell but you wouldn’t see that as you are his daughter. Fair play to him and I hope he treats her right 😁 both adults so really not your place to say he can’t see her.

He’ll be 46 now!