orange my Xh just announced one night, right out of the blue, that he no longer loved me, didn't want to live here any more, blah blah blah. I was so shocked that I threw up. I told him to leave if that was how he felt. After talking for hours a few days later, he came back saying "no promises". After 6 weeks of everything seeming ok, he left again.
I then discovered that he was texting his best mates wife thousands of times a month. I came onto MN for support in how to "win back my husband". What I got repeatedly, was advice on how to bin him and build a life for myself.
I argued with people, I tried to explain how my H must be having some sort of mid life crisis, or breakdown, how stressful things had been, how it would all be ok if he would just come back again...... I begged him to come back, tried to ignore the fact that he was investing his emotions in another woman not in his wife and child. He became cold, callous, uncaring, refused to talk, refused to go to counselling, said that there was no point as nothing would change how he felt.
MN was a fantastic support to me, I did what I had to do and nobody said "I told you so" when it all went tits up exactly as they said it would.
Of course he denied that there was anything going on with this woman, they were just friends... his mate believed him.... now 3 years on, my XH is living with this woman, hundreds of miles away and they have just had a baby.
So not an outcome that you wanted to hear, but you wanted to hear other people's stories. My advice.....
there probably is somebody else who has turned his head.... there may not be, he might just want to be living like a single man again... time will tell on that one but you do need to be prepared for the possibility.
as others have said, it is all about YOU now. what do YOU want to happen next, what are YOU going to do about your new life. You do not have to sit around waiting for him to decide what happens next. Get yourself some legal advice, confide in your friends, look for work, sort out your tax credits, the council tax discount, rent assistance if you can get it.
Do not ask him to come back, do not beg him for anything. Be as calm and detached as you can be. I couldn't do it, but looking back now I really wish that I had been stronger but I just wasn't in a fit state at that time.
I know it's not easy, believe me, you will be feeling shocked, bewildered, and unsure. You can't eat, you can't sleep. I was broken for a very long time, there are people on this thread that supported me when I needed it. Some people will come across as harsh, but it is usually because they have been through it and want to spare you some of the heartache because they know the pattern that will follow.
Surround yourself with friends to talk to, post on MN as often as you need to, be prepared for some straight talking. You feel like your life is over now, but it isn't. I am now 3 years on and I never thought that I would survive for 3 days or 3 weeks or 3 months...
You will be ok, I know it and others know it and you will know it eventually.