Will my husband come back?

[orangeskins]

He has left me, telling me he doesn't love me anymore & has no effort to try at all.

I am completely and utterly shocked & devastated. He told me this a month ago too, except then he wanted to come back & try. He didn't try at all & has now left.

Will he come back to me at all? I'm so sad for our children (they don't know yet) Anything I say doesn't seem to make a difference.

ALL the times in my life when things went REALLY bad for me where all the times I went back instead of moving forward.

Not one of those relationships panned out for eternity. Not one.

I now believe that things end because they are meant too. Like a broken ornament that you glue the head back on...it's never the same. It's always that broken ornament.

Any broken ornaments get binned now.

I mean, what's the point of keeping something that's broken.

So, after telling him that we may be able to work through it all. After him utterly convincing me that this is what he wants. He calls me today from his mums and asks if I can give him a few days to think about if this is what he wants.

I would say, 'It may not be what I want actually, and that may take me longer than a few days to think about I'm afraid.' It sounds to me as though he is taking for granted that you will allow him back.

As I said before, in answer to your original OP, yes he will come back, and he will keep on coming back.

I would just not bother. He is going to mess you around again and again and again.

It will destroy you.

reminds me of this song

^I need a little time
To think it over
I need a little space
Just on my own
I need a little time
To find my freedom
I need a little

Funny how quick the milk turns sour
Isn't it, isn't it
Your face has been looking like that for hours
Hasn't it, hasn't it
Promises, promises turn to dust
Wedding bells just turn to rust
Trust into mistrust

I need a little room
To find myself
I need a little space
To work it out
I need a little room
All alone
I need a little

You need a little room for your big head
Don't you, don't you
You need a little space for a thousand beds
Won't you, won't you
Lips that promise fear the worst
Tongue so sharp the bubble burst
Just into unjust

I've had a little time
To find the truth
Now I've had a little room
To check what's wrong
I've had a little time
And I still love you
I've had a little

You had a little time
And you had a little fun
Didn't you, didn't you
While you had yours
Do you think I had none
Do you, do you
The Freedom that you wanted bad
Is yours for good
I hope you're glad
Sad into unsad

I had a little time
To think it over
Had a little room
To work it out
I found a little courage
To call it off

I've had a little time
I've had a little time
I've had a little time
I've had a little time^

The wonderful Beautiful South

Never a truer word spoken.

OP, he is very, very sure you will do anything and put up with anything just to have him back, isn't he ?

Please tell him you have now had "time to think" and you have come to the conclusion you would be better off without a cheating fuck damaging your self esteem and happiness.

Well, in my experience, he will def live to regret it but you will have become a much more independent woman and remember all the pain you are going through and not want him back. Any woman that encourages a man to leave his wife and kids and move in with her and her mum is not going to be great for him in the long run. Trust me, he will regret it a few years down the line. But for now, you will gradually build your life back up. Day by day. Make a list at the start of the day of what you are going to do. Take it easy on yourself. That sharp, intense pain will dull little by little. One day, you will be sitting there and realise you don't feel it anymore and it will be like a weight lifting off your shoulders. Imagine you are on a river and you have to ride out the rough bit, but at the end you will come to a beautiful beach. Trust me, it will happen.

orange it is time for you to take charge and tell him what you want, which is for him to stop messing you around and to stay away while you sort your own life out.

He will keep you dangling, while you wait for him to decide what he wants, he is probably begging OW to take him back, and waiting on her answer. Don't be second best. You will never be able to trust him.

I know how hard it is believe me, I know how much you want your marriage to be ok and for everything to go back to normal, but everything has been turned on its head and he cant just keep messing you around.

You take control, you be strong and if he really wants you, then he will move heaven and earth to prove it to you.

I begged XH to come back, we talked for hours and he did come back, but after 3 nights away staying at his mates house to "clear his head". So he chose to stay with his mate and his wife (OW) rather than come straight back to me. I accepted it because I was just so damn glad that he was coming back at all. He was back for 6 weeks, during which time he was in constant contact with OW, unknown to me.

Please don't be me, the pathetic woman who was so grateful that she then put up with anything so as to not upset him in case he left again.

Orange

This man is playing you like a fiddle. Just think for a minute how cruel and selfish he has been and what's to stop him doing it next week, next month , next year...only you

Get your dcs and yourself out of this, it's funny how as soon as you started to she a bit of strength and independence he wanted you back, that was of course until he realized he had own again and could go back to playing his game

Tell him to get to the far side of fuck

Oh, orange - it's time to shut him down. He's shagged another woman, left twice (?) now (or three times?) and he still needs time? You have to be kidding me.

This guy is just making sure he can have you back if he wants you - and then fucking off again. This is the time to find the strength to say "No" to him. No he cannot have a little time, no he will not be coming back. Calmly, kindly even. Give him pitying looks. Yes he will regret it - but where in the hell does he get off treating you like this?

Oh Lillian, you sound so genuine and yet I can't understand why you would want your cheating husband back. Dr Saguru sounds amazing though and I have already sent you a PM with my bank details.

Orange, your relationship is never going to recover. It dorsn't matter why he is doing this, it just matters that he is. He is obviously feeling terrible about leaving you but he is leaving you.

Please have a good cry, have a shower and a cup of tea and then face the day. You will feel so much better if you become ypur decision maker and take control of your life. Tell him, no, you don't eant him bsck and start getting better from today. Delaying the inevitable will make you feel worse.

Wtf Lillian in was reading a thread from 2015 in the hope that I'd get to 2017 at the end and have an update on how the op was doing!!! Orange come back and let us know how you are xx

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