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Original poster

seen on boyfriends phone....gutted advice pls...

162 replies

wishididntcare · 01/03/2015 15:22

I went out for the day yesterday with my boyf and when he was trying to show me something on his phone he accidentally pulled down the top notification bar and on that screen were a few notifications from something called adultplay....he quickly shut it and then was all cuddly with me
anyway ive googled adultplay and its a dating website so ive been on and there is a profile I think is him as there's no photo but same name/age/town etc .....
I don't know what to do now....

OP posts:
OneDayWhenIGrowUp · 01/03/2015 15:24

How long have you been together- is it an exclusive relationship where you have agreed that you're not seeing other people?

If so then how do you feel that he's not respecting that?

loveyoutothemoon · 01/03/2015 15:25

I'm sorry about this. If you dig deeper and it's definitely him get rid. Maybe send him a message on it to try and establish it's him.

Original poster
wishididntcare · 01/03/2015 15:25

weve been together a year and a half and yes def exclusive....I'm gutted :(

OP posts:
loveyoutothemoon · 01/03/2015 15:27

Try and get his phone when he's not in the room. Check his emails.

Original poster
wishididntcare · 01/03/2015 15:29

his phone is a new one that has a fingerprint thing on it to unlock it so I wouldnt be able to look anyway

OP posts:
ajandjjmum · 01/03/2015 15:29

Please don't tolerate this or listen to the inevitable 'it was a one off' excuse. Find someone who deserves you, because he sure as hell doesn't!

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 01/03/2015 15:29

I'm very sorry OP. He's tried to hide this from you so you're not going to trust him again anyway. It doesn't really matter what's on his phone now, does it? Can you trust him again after thinking you were exclusive and after him trying to deceive you instead of coming clean yesterday? That's the only question really.

Original poster
wishididntcare · 01/03/2015 15:35

I met him on a dating site so I know what hes going to say he will say its an old profile from when he was online dating way back before we met

OP posts:
loveyoutothemoon · 01/03/2015 15:36

Does he have a laptop? How is he with you now? How have you been towards him?

AttilaTheMeerkat · 01/03/2015 15:39

"he will say its an old profile from when he was online dating way back before we met"

Why did he not delete it then?.

He could well say that but would you ever believe him seeing as you only saw this now 18 months later?.

If there is no longer any trust there is really no relationship.

Timmytime2025 · 01/03/2015 15:51

My delightful ex liked to use that excuse I let him off and guess what he was at it again and again. These things don't happen by accident so if I was you that would be enough for me. Heartbreaking but in my experience people don't change.

kinkyfuckery · 01/03/2015 15:53

If it's an old profile, why would he have logged in and activated notifications on his new phone?

SirVixofVixHall · 01/03/2015 16:04

Get a friend to contact him on the site.

loveyoutothemoon · 01/03/2015 16:04

kinky he will get emails therefore if he's got a new phone he'll still get them

Pennies · 01/03/2015 16:06

Set a honeytrap.

Namechanged101 · 01/03/2015 16:08

Yes I think the only way to be sure is to set a honey trap too op

loveyoutothemoon · 01/03/2015 16:17

Set up a fake profile and arrange to meet him, even put a fake picture on. Has there been anything to arouse suspicion of cheating?

Jennyjenjenjen · 01/03/2015 18:05

By the way OP Don't know what adult play is but both my Bf and myself were on a dating site and neither of us have shut them down and we are deffo exclusive. I don't think that means anything. I still get email Notifications from it. I'm not looking! They are free sites though. Is his one?if it requires paying for a subscription -check on the website - then maybe it's still active.

If that's the case or if you aren't sure then I kind of like the idea of a honey trap. Have the date next to a canal or pond then push him in.

Good lu

Original poster
wishididntcare · 01/03/2015 18:42

@jennyjen....its a free site ive had to register to see If he was on there....I asked him about what I saw on his phone he didnt say it was an old profile he hasnt deleted like id kinda hoped he said it was something he keeps getting from going on this stupid porn site my mate showed him n then it was on a pop up...doesnt explain his profile being on there does it! I didnt say id looked....

OP posts:
pilates · 01/03/2015 18:52

Yes set up a fake profile and arrange to meet him.

He can't really get out of that, can he?

Best you find out now what he is like before marriage and children.

Sad for you though Sad

Original poster
wishididntcare · 01/03/2015 18:58

I don't want to set up a fake profile.. ..I haven't got the energy plus people normally text/chat on the phone before they meet me n him did loads before our 1st date but obv I can't pretend I'm someone else n give my phone number to text him! I'm not sure how he pulls on there tbh he hasn't even got a photo I would have never messaged anyone back if they didn't have a photo as its just dodgy

OP posts:
Original poster
wishididntcare · 01/03/2015 19:08

Just looked at the profile again...He hasnt even wrote anything only filled in the drop down boxes of height etc etc....seems like he's not that serious about meeting someone if he's not put a pic or wrote any info about him???

OP posts:
Redglitter · 01/03/2015 19:09

You don't have to get to the chatting stage. If you create a profile and contact him hell reply one of 2 ways. He'll say sorry this is an old profile I have a gf now or hell instigate more contact. You could send a few messages via the site which will plenty for you to know if he's cheating

BuzzardBird · 01/03/2015 19:12

Well that's ok then...don't be daft OP, he is taking the piss out of you.

Timmytime2025 · 01/03/2015 19:14

I would imagine he's on alert now though so i would think not that stupid as to go on it for a bit. Doesn't matter if he's serious or filled it in if those notifications were messages that's enough. What sort of site is it?